Living A Lie

Blog Banter 32- I heart carebears

2012-01-19T18:37:00.001-05:00

"A quick view of the Eve Online forums can always find someone complaining about being suicide ganked, whining about some scam they fell for or other such tears. With the Goons' Ice Interdiction claiming a vast amount of mining ships, there were calls for an "opt out of PvP" option.

Should this happen? Should people be able to opt-out of PvP in Eve Online. Should CONCORD prevent crime rather than just handing out justice after the event? Or do the hi-sec population already have too much protection from the scum and villainy that inhabits the game?"

****

By their own rules, or lack of, EvE Online allows their members to steal from, destroy, slander, harass, and abuse other members.

It's not merely tolerated, it is celebrated.

On any given day across New Eden's five thousand plus star systems, you will find an array of pilots trolling other pilots in local channels. You will find fresh-eyed newbies being scammed out of whatever ISK they manage to make for themselves and if they happen to venture too far out, you will find these same new players being blown up over and over and over.

You will also find some random miners being suicide ganked and high sec industrial corps getting wardecced and slaughtered.

Etc, etc.

EvE is a harsh game. It is a brutal game.

But in the end, it is a game. It isn't real and you weren't really there.

At best, you were some smuck sitting at your keyboard pretending to be Lord of the Skies while pressing F1.

I think too many players forget that, that it's just a game. Games need to make money to survive, to thrive. Games need to appeal to a wide demographic, not just a sliver of humanity- those who are psychotic, evil, and ruthless.

Because really, why does anyone need to have the ability to kill wtfpwn everyone in the game?

'But Shalee, these noobs need to HTFU!'

Er, why? Why do they really need to be harassed? Do you feel better about yourself? Do you really feel accomplished when you kill a noob pilot? Really? How does that relate to real life? 'Hey Mom, I just owned some NoobLord and told him I'd stick my dick up his ass and rape him again haha!' Good boy.

'But Shalee, EvE is dark! EvE is like reality!"

Uh, no. EvE isn't reality. Reality is reality. EvE is still a game. And again, games need money. Where does the money come from? Ah yes, those bright eyed bushy tailed noobs that everyone is harassing out of game. Remember that 20% of CCP employees that got fired not too long ago? Guess who could be paying their salary right now! Guess what those fired CCP employees could be doing right now! That's right. Fixing our game.

Yes, I agree, EVE is a sandbox but that doesn't necessarily have to be it's selling point. When most people decide to play EVE, I'm sure the majority came to the game to fly spaceships."

I came to EVE cause I wanted to be this:

or this:

I think it's that simple. I don't think anyone was sitting around one day thinking, 'mmm, I need an mmo that I can lie, harass, and grief newbies."

Don't get me wrong, I love pvp, and I would be utterly bored without it. It makes the game interesting for me, but I can understand that some people simply don't have the time or desire for it. Should they be forced into it anyhow? I don't think so. I don't really see the point in forcing one style of gameplay onto the entirety of EVE.

Why can't new players and industrials or whoever have their own safe zones. They can play how they want. And for those who want to pew pew, go to low or null.

Granted, I don't think there should be a lot of safe zones, but just enough to give new players the chance to actually experience the game and have fun with it before saying 'fuck this game' and heading off to spend their money elsewhere.

Also, I'd rather have the 'carebears' happy. They stay in the game and give CCP money. CCP uses that money to make my gaming better. The carebears then tell their friends, oh come play this game! We get more people, more money, better game- it's a cycle, see?

Just my two cents. Flame away.

Other bloggers:

Blog Banter 32 by Corelin @ Haberdashers Run Amok
EVE Online is Harsh - Live With It by Drackarn @ Sand, Cider and Spaceships
Blog Banter 32 by Cle Demaari @ A Citizen in EVE
Safe? by blastradius1 @ Blastrad Tales
Consensual PvP? by Ned "CCP Manifest" Coker @ A Gaming Manifest
Blog Banter 32 by evehermit @ Evehermit's Blog
EVE is all about risk by TG3 @ Through Newb Eyes
Blog Banter 32 by Harrigan Vonstudly @ Gun Turret Diplomacy
Blog Banter 32 by Lukas Rox @ Torchwood Archives
Blog Banter something or other and an update by TetraEtc @ Tetra's EVE Blog
Life's not consensual by Logan Fyreite @ Eve Opportunist
Without PvP, EVE will be nothing by Keyanu @ Muppetninjas
Blog Banter 32 by A Scientist's Life in EVE
Say Yes To Reasonable Protection by Kirith Kodachi @ Inner Sanctum of the Ninveah
Your Ship is Out of Control by Rixx Javix @ EVEOGANDA
Blog Banter 32 by Kaeda Maxwell
What Makes EvE Real? by Kuan Yida @ Random Posts From Auga
See No Evil by Azual Skoll @ The Altruist
The Sandbox Argument by Seismic Stan @ Freebooted
Blog Banter 32 by Marc Scaurus @ Malefactor
Non-Consensual Combat Restrictions - Pass by Mabrick @ Mabrick's Mumblings
A Load of Crap by GamerChick42
For the Children by Sered of Sered's Lives
Against Your Will by Truen1ght of ...Shall we not Revenge
BB: Option 3 by Mike Azariah @ A Missioneer in EVE
Who Are You.. Really? by Orakkus @ 2nd Anomaly From the Left

Entry 147: Meeting Lukka

2011-12-31T15:35:00.000-05:00

"How did your meeting go?"

Shalee glanced sideways, unsurprised to see the Imperial Agent. He seemed to have a way of popping up out of the blue. He grinned at her as he settled against the railing that she'd been leaning on, watching the waves rolling across the shoreline.

"It was strange. Every interaction I've ever had with that man has ended poorly. Time after time he's acted as if he hated me...now all of a sudden he's actually nice to me? It makes no sense. And he wants me to actually trust him. I mean, there's trust then theres I'm-putting-my-life-in-your-hands trust. He says he can give me back most of my memories."

"He has a backup?"

"It's pretty current, I'd only be missing a couple of months of memories."

"So you'd remember everything but the most important thing you're after. You wouldn't know why you got involved with Tiger," he said thoughtfully.

She nodded.

"I wish I could help you. I honestly don't know what you were up to. I told you several times to stay away from him. He wasn't an official assignment, not from the Empire. However that doesn't mean anything really, you could have picked up the assignment from any number of people."

"Like Raphael Saint?"

Kathetel nodded. "You might have done some work for him. Or CVA even, Tiger was a huge thorn in their side at one time. There could have been any number of reasons you befriended him. You could have decided to do it on your own, for whatever reason. You have a habit of killing Sani Sabik, after all. Or...it could be what it seems. You could have actually fell in love with him...despite my warnings."

She shrugged, "Guess I'll never really know the whole truth."

He looked out at the sea, "Are you going to take Verone up on his offer?"

"I don't know. I have until the morning to decide. He seems genuine and everyone keeps telling me that I can trust him- well, Miko and his doctor, anyhow."

"You've trusted him in the past."

"That's what he said. But I don't remember that. I don't remember him, all I know is that he is a notorious crime lord, on the DED's most wanted, and that he has a strong hatred for Amarr. So yeah, not too eager to put my life in his hands."

Kathetel suggested, "You could always live as you are now."

Shalee made a face, "True. But then I'd always wonder. I'd always have this lingering doubt in the back of my mind about everyone. If I take him up on the offer, at least I'd know. Maybe not about Tiger but everyone else."

"True. So you've made up your mind?"

She sighed, "I guess I have. I have little choice otherwise, the only other current neural copy is in the hands of Jacobi...if that's even true. It could be a ruse. I wouldn't put it past him."

"He will be dealt with in time."

"Yeah. But until then..." She brushed a strand of hair from her face, "I'll trust the pirate. But...if I don't come back..."

"You will. One way or another, you will. And if this is a setup-which I highly doubt- then I'll have your jump clone activated. It's current, yeah?"

She nodded, "Yeah. And I'll have another scan before I leave. Apparently I'll be there for at least twenty four hours, the doctor says I'll have to stay put for a while."

"You're staying at the VETO headquarters? Does Tiger even know you're doing this?"

"No one does except you, Miko, Verone, and his doctor. No one from corp knows."

"How are they anyhow?"

"Busy. We've spent weeks moving out of Huola."

"How do you feel about that?" he asked.

"It's different. All I've ever known is the Bleaks and Devoid. Though it's only sixteen jumps away it feels as if it's on the far side of New Eden. But, orders are orders, and we have been tasked with heading a new front into Minmatar space. A part of me is excited about it, I guess," she admitted.

"About that..." he pulled small data chip and passed it to her. "The real reason you guys were assigned the Otosela front..."

"A new assignment?"

He nodded. "But don't activate it until you return from Veto. Just in case, don't want them knowing what's really going on."

"Alright," she said curiously as she slipped it into her pocket. "I'll wait."

"Good. See you in a couple of days."

***

The lights of the Huola space station dimmed along the corridor, simulating evening time. At the far end of the hall, a group of new Amarrian militia pilots rounded the corner, talking loudly and laughing, obviously in a good mood. Shalee assumed their patrol went well.

She nodded to them as they passed mid-corridor. One paused and lightly grabbed her by the arm, trying to get her attention, "Hey Commodore, be careful out there, I hear Lukka was seen warping in."

Another young pilot groaned as he heard the news, "Sansha balls, not him! He cost me half a bil in implants last time he was around."

Shalee quirked a tawny brow, "Lukka?"

"Yeah, don't you remember him? Terrorized the 24th for a couple of months, popping most anything that landed."

"Scum," muttered another.

"Oh yeah, I vaguely remember something about him. So he's back?"

"That's what intel says, anyhow. So be careful okay?

"Yeah, of course." She smiled to the bunch of them, "Actually I'm not on the roster tonight, got some things to take care of planet side, but I'll see you guys in a couple of days."

"Roger that. See you Commodore." He tossed her a lazy salute as he dashed up the hall to catch up with his friends.

Shalee neared the windows and crossed her arms, staring aimlessly out into space. Several more militia pilots were being pulled into docking range. She recognized a couple of ships and made her way to the station's public hangar's, hoping she'd run into First General, needing to pass on some information to him before she clone jumped into Veto's medical facilities.

Instead, she came face to face with the notorious Lukka, though she did not recognize him.

"Are you a new recruit?" she asked, eyeing him cautiously.

He laughed. "Nothing of the sort, Commodore Lianne." He said her name slowly, grinning. He propped up against the wall and folded his arms, eyeing her with a smirk.

"Well? What do you want?" she asked impatiently, almost unnerved by the way he was staring at her.

"I have something to tell you, however, I know you're not going to believe me." He continued to grin, as if it were all some big, amusing game to him.

She found him infuriating.

"I really don't have time for this. Say what you will, sir."

"Lukka," he said, correcting her.

"You're the man I just heard about? Great. Though I warn you, your little cowardly sniping tricks wont work inside the station."

He laughed, "Now now Seashell, is that any way to talk to the man who's come to save your life?"

"Don't call me Seashell," she said with the arrogance only a Holder's daughter could muster, her tone imperious and cold. 'You'll address me as befitting my station and rank, sir." She practically spit the word at him.

"You used to like it. In fact, you used to like a lot of things..." his tone insinuated much.

"Impossible."

"You really did have a penchant for the bad boys, you know. Too bad you've forgotten."

She rolled her eyes.

"There it is, that fiery little temper that everyone finds so irresistible." He pushed himself from the wall and cornered her, his massive arms coming up to trap her against the wall behind her. "That temper that gets you into oh-so-much trouble, young lady."

She twisted her face in anger as she jerked her knee up, aiming to shove it into his groin. He grabbed her thigh before it could make contact. "You know I like it when you're rough, sweetheart." He forced her leg down as he grabbed her wrists with one hand, capturing them above her head. "Are you prepared to listen now?"

She nodded, her blue eyes blazing with hot anger. "Yes."

"Good," he said as he released her hands.

"Get off of me!" she shoved at his chest.

He laughed, not budging, remaining mere inches from her. "Being a hero is quite exhausting, you know." He said as she shoved him again. "I thought you said you were going to listen."

"Go to hell." She balled her hand into a tight fist and slammed it against the side of his jaw.

"Goddammit." He scooped her up in a fluid move, tossing her lithe form across his shoulder. She screamed and wailed at his back. "We could have done this the easy way but would you listen? Noooo." He carried across the metallic walkway and through the door of his rented station's captain's quarters.

Once inside he threw her onto a sofa, "Don't you dare move," he said as he qued up the holographic screen in front of them.

Before her eyes, the Scope logo disappeared into black as a personal recording flashed into view.

Her eyes widened as she watched herself and Lukka roll across a black, satin covered bed. Naked.

His hand caressed her thigh, inching it's way up as he asked, "Ready for round two? She giggled in response and said, "And three, and four." Her mouth grazed his jawline. "And five," she whispered seductively.

She squeezed her eyes shut as she yelled, "Turn it off!"

He complied and the room faded into semi darkness.

"Fine. I get it, okay? We fucked."

"Such a crude little mouth you have on you, Seashell. Another thing I really loved."

She exhaled a frustrated breath. "What do you even want from me? Because you must know that I don't remember you, and I feel like if I ever meant anything at all to you, I would have seen you in these past few months...and since I don't even have a clue to who you are..."

The humor left his face and he simply stared at her for the longest of moments before saying, "I've seen you. You didn't know it but I've kept my eye on you from the distance, and I know that you went to see Ethan Verone last night and I know that your old self wouldn't do that. You two quit talking for a reason."

"What do you even know about him?"

"I know what you've told me in the past. I know he is someone that meant you harm once, and I know that you need to stay away from him."

She considered his words. "But he wants to help me now. He wants to give me my memories back."

"Yeah, but at what price? He threatened to kill you before, Shalee. So you have to ask yourself now, what's in it for him?"

Entry 146: The Offer

2011-12-30T15:37:00.002-05:00

Ethan Verone sat behind his desk, his long legs kicked up on the corner of the glass surface as he watched the holo-display in front of himself. He smiled at the images displayed and tilted his head as the door opened.
Miko Hareka led Shalee inside.

Verone gestured to the seats opposite himself, his voice, quiet and deep, his huge frame just a silouhette against the backdrop of the rattlesnakes in the dark office. "Have a seat."

Shalee slid into the offered seat and crossed one tanned leg over the other. She folded her arms across her chest, her blue gaze locked on the pirate. "Thank you."

"How've you been?" Verone asked her as Miko sealed the door behind him and leaned against it.

Her brow quirked. "Since we've last spoke? Fine, I guess." She hesitated for a second then asked, "And yourself?"

"I'm always well, life is just like that for me."

"Of course."

"How's your memory coming along?"

"I've had a recent memory."

"Oh?"

"I think perhaps because I clone jumped, I'm not sure. Just a small memory, about Raphael Saint."

"Well, this is good news. I understand if it's something you can't share."

"It's nothing major really, I remembered that I started eating meat because he introduced me to it," she said.

"That's a good thing." He smiled. "I have an idea."

She relaxed as he smiled. "Hmm?"

"I've talked it over with the best cloning physician I know, my own personal medical consultant."

"And?"

He rested his feet down and leaned forward from out of the shadow, the light from the holo projector bathing his tanned face as piercing blue eyes looked across the desk to her. "He can fix you, if you want him to."

"Fix me how precisely?"

"Well, it's possible to give you your memory back," Verone said. "The specifics are beyond my simple, meatheaded brain. Would you like to talk to the doc?"

She hesitated, "But to gain it I would lose my new life, correct?"

Verone shook his head, smiling. "No, you could retain what you've learned since. Its' actually beneficial for me if you do retain what you've learned since, actually. So, it helps us both."

"Beneficial how?"

"It'd give me peace of mind."

"Explain."

"Knowing that I helped you, and knowing you know, that I helped you."

"You said I wouldn't like what I found out," Shalee said.

"You wouldn't now. But, with restoration, you'd deal with it, and still have he knowlege that you have now. What you've learned since the accident. Maybe the doctor can explain it better?" He glanced down to her and smiled, noting the tanned thighs. "Your dress sense has changed, I approve, and it looks like you're getting a lot of sun. That'll be on the terrace?"

"I'm just not sure why I should trust you," she admitted, then glanced down at her bare legs, "Well it's not cold there. No snow to dress for."

Verone smiled warmly, "You trusted me with your life, before. And I trusted you with mine. You trusted me with your reputation too, and I did the same." He nodded over to Miko, "Miko, be a darling and call Toma for me?"

Miko Hareka laughed slightly and nodded, before heading out, "Sure thing, Eth."

"Toma?"

Miko sealed the door behind himself as he left.

"Yeah, my Doctor," Verone said. "He was the one who treated you here, when you had your accident. He took the scans, and the gentic backup."

Shalee glanced over her shoulder as Miko left, frowning as the door closed. She returned her gaze to Verone, "I don't understand why I was here."

"You don't have to be scared of being alone with me. If I wanted to hurt you, I'd have had ample opportunity to do it before now. I don't want to hurt you Shalee."

"I'm not afraid."

"As for your question, You were here because we were... good friends, before your accident. Although we'd become a bit estranged. The friendship became very rocky. Something I regret every day."

"You haven't even tried to be friends with me that I can remember," she said.

"I alienated you for your own protection. I didn't want a fresh mind to have my influence."

"Then how are you protecting me now, by offering a chance to remember?"

"Because you're not a fresh mind any more. You have experience, you've taken a perspective on the world, and you have the knowledge to choose."

"How do you mean? Because I remembered one thing? About Raphael?"

"As a blank canvas, so to speak, you didn't have that."

"Oh."

"You understand now?"

"Experience as a capsuleer, sure." she said.

"That accounts for a lot."

"I know."

"Good, then you've learned well."

A few minutes passed by in silence. "I'm thinking."

"About what?" he asked.

"About what to do."

Dr Einmoch tapped on the door before heading inside. He made his way over to Ethan, nodding.

Verone smiled at Toma, before looking to Shalee, "This is Toma Einmoch. The man I trust with my life every second, of every day."

She glanced up to the doctor, "Hello."

Einmoch offered a perfectly manicured hand to her, smiling, "We've met many times before, however, you won't remember. It's a pleasure to see you again, Shalee."

She shook his hand, "Oh. I see."

"Good to see you again, I guess."

The doctor chuckled.

Verone nodded then turned his attention back to her, "You always were a stubborn one, Shalee. You always had that fire about you, some of our talks have been harsh, and for that I'm sorry."

"All of our talks have been harsh except this one," she countered. "So you can see why I'm reluctant to take you at your word?"

"Then, don't take my word. Take Toma's. Unlike me, he's not in the business of taking life, he tries to save and preserve it."

"He works for you."

Verone nodded, "That he does."

"We can help you Shalee, should you allow us," Einmoch said.

"How does it work? How do you combine both sets of memories?"

Dr Einmoch took a seat in the spare beside her, and opened his palm. A soft light expanded from the centre of it, producing a holo that hovered above his smooth hand. He smiled as the image took the form of a human brain, a timeline above it. It then shrank and turned into two brains, one red, one blue. "We currently have two sets of memories, yes? We use red and blue, to denote them. seen here."

She nodded, "Alright."

"Firstly, we take you, in your present form, and run a soft scan, neural backup of you. This will preserve your current memories. From the time you awoken after the accident, until now." The blue holo of the brain turned white with the blue turning into a pulsing waveform above it. "The second set of memories are in storage, that we have."

Einmoch gestured to the flashing red holo, "We will create a clone for you here. Complete with your original memories, okay? As seen here..." A red bar appeared above it, a pulsing waveform that took the form of a timeline, "This you will use as a jumpclone... okay?"

She nodded.

"Your current memories, that you hold in your head right now, when you jump, will be parsed over, through the jumpcloning process, like so." He flicked his index finger, the two holos merged together, the brains overlapped each other, the timelines doing the same.

"You make it sound so simple."

Einmoch nodded as the brain image turned purple with the timelines doing the same, a slight grey gap between the two bands of memories. "What will happen, when we prepare the clone correctly is this. Your original memories will be retained, since there is no data to overwrite them, in long term memory."

"We ensure this by scripting the cloning sequence and the hardware not to overwrite the current state of any active neurons in the entorhinal cortex, and allow only the new data to be processed by the hippocampus. What will happen, is you will awaken with both sets of memories, you will be your old self, but you will have all the knowledge and experience you have absorbed since, even the memory of this conversation, right up until the point you jump clone. There will be a gap, between the neural scan at our facilities, and your cloning accident. That, we have no data for. To you, it will just seem like an area of memory you can't recall. A coma, effectively, like a long sleep."
"How much time is there in between do you think?"

"When was your accident?"

"Months ago. I don't recall the exact day."

"Our scan runs up until June 11th, 113. You'll have every memory up until then, then a gap, and every memory since the accident. You will know who you were, and who you are now."

"So when can we do this? How long will it take? Are there any dangers?"

"It's low risk. We could finalise a clone from a blank within twenty-four hours, then all you would have to do, is jump. I've uh, tested it. On Ethan's request."

"What do you mean by that?"

Verone glanced at the rattlesnakes out through the windows, disconnecting himself from the conversation.

Dr Einmoch said, "We ran trials, to see if the process would work. The first was a failure. We ran a further fifty seven, all were sucessful, after a minor tweak."

Shalee hesitated for a moment, then took a long breath and exhaled before saying, "Very well then. Twenty-four hours it is. Do I have to do anything to prepare?"

Einmoch shook his head, and smiled warmly, "No, just have faith. And if you'd like to see proof of the process, just look at Mr Hareka."

"Mr Hareka has lost his memories at some point too?" she asked.

"No, he volunteered to be mentally split, and re-assembled." The doctor said. "Ethan pays... extremely well."

Verone smiled.

Shalee relaxed into her chair. "I see." She looked to Ethan as he smiled. "I hope this isn't some sort of trickery but I have little choice but to trust you. I don't have any other options that I would even consider."

"I'll prepare for tomorrow, and leave you to talk." Einmoch stood and flicked his hand a little to make the holo vanish, before heading for the door. "There is one more thing, Shalee."

"Yes?"

"Make provisions not to pilot, for twenty-four hours after the clone jump. It's imperative that you stay rested and out of harm's way. Do you understand? In fact, I may insist on you staying with us for twenty-four hours after the transfer, depending on how it goes."

She nodded. "I guess they can spare me for twenty four hours."

"Excellent. Then I will see you tomorrow, when you awaken here." He smiled as he left, closing the door behind himself.

Blog Banter 31: Why EvE Wins

2011-12-16T19:14:00.000-05:00

Blog Banter 31: EVE Online Community Review

Welcome to the thirty-first EVE Blog Banter, a community conversation between anyone and everyone with an interest in discussing EVE Online. For more information on how this works, check out this link or for details of this edition's topic, read on.

As any games journalist would probably tell you, a true and complete review of a Massively Multiplayer Online game is impossible. MMOs are vast, forever evolving entities with too much content for a single reviewer to produce a fair and accurate review. However, a collection of dedicated bloggers and EVE players (past and present) with a wide range of experience in various aspects of the game might be able to pull it off.

This special 'End of Year' Blog Banter edition aims to be a crowd-sourced game review. Using your gaming knowledge and experience, join the community in writing a fair and qualified review of EVE Online: Crucible. This can be presented in any manner of your choosing, but will ideally include some kind of scoring system.

With each Blog Banter participant reviewing the areas of EVE Online in which they specialise, the result should be a Metacritic-esque and accurate review by the people who know best.

******

There are many reasons why EvE Online is simply the best MMO there is, and I'm sure there will be a lot of responses to this blog banter describing the most obvious things: one server, learning skills via time instead of grind, and well, it's spaceships.

But the thing that keeps me most interested is the roleplay.

I have little experience with other games, having only really played World of Warcraft before my EvE addiction, so I'll compare the two in regards to RP.

Who RPs?

Anyone who plays EvE is essentially an rper, whether they realize it or not. If you log into the game, you're pretending to be a space pilot. You choose the 'story' of your character- a pirate, scammer, industrial, etc. That is roleplay.

So everyone who plays an MMO is an RPer to a degree.

But, some are better than others. It takes two things to be an online rper: 1. something to write about and 2. someone to write it.

On EvE you have more unique experiences to write about because it's a sandbox instead of game-of-grind. What's a more interesting read? A story about yet another elf dancing on a mailbox after a long day of picking flowers, or the one guy who spent nearly a year infiltrating a corp to steal loot worth thousands of real life dollars?

So just for that reason alone, EvE is superior to WoW.

World of War Craft: 0

EvE Online: 10 (EvE wins!)

What do you RP?

What happens in RP? Everything that happens on EVE is rp essentially. EvE Online is one massive, interactive story. Every pilot I come across can affect my character's story. That is the best part about EvE, is that one single person can change the entire game.

With WoW, your character starts off on a series of quest, and you grind and grind til you get to the top level, then grind some more for the top gear. It's the same boring story for everyone. "Oh he wants you to go kill ten kobolds and bring back some candles? Hey wait...he told me to do the same thing!" Your character isn't unique and you have no real choices for how the overall story goes.

But in EvE, the players are the story.

World of War Craft: 0

EvE Online: 10 (EvE wins!)

Where do you RP?

Roleplay on World of Warcraft was difficult to find. They had several realms that claimed to be rp but usually those servers were just a bunch of kids who had no idea what rp even was.

On EvE, it's relatively easy to find even if you know nothing about the game. A new player can check the EvE Online forums and find a whole section dedicated to in-character. (The Intergalatic Summit, aka IGS and EVE Fiction) In game, there are many channels dedicated solely to rp.

It doesn't stop there. There are many blogs, websites, and podcasts that are dedicated to RP.

World of War Craft:0

EvE Online: 10 (EvE wins!)

When do you RP?

It happens around the clock. With players form all over the world, there is always someone around to roleplay with usually.

On WoW, servers are sorted by countries or something, so that means there are a lot of slow times on WoW, when everyone is asleep, or off at work, yada yada.

World of War Craft: 0

EvE Online: 10 (EvE wins!)

Why do you RP?

Why should you immerse yourself into the story of your toon? Well why not? It adds another level to the game. RP can give you motivation and direction. It makes what you do that much more meaningful. As an Amarr Militia pilot, plexing can be rather dull but I do it, not because I have nothing better to do, but because it would matter to my character to defend Amarrian territority (and hey I'm hoping to get a little pvp out of it too).

RP can open up doors. I have met so many interesting people in the game because I am a roleplayer.

Still not convinced? I got a free year of EvE for my RP blog and won half a billion in an EvE writing contest.

There are no benefits to rping on WoW that I know of.

World of War Craft: 0

EvE Online: 10 (EvE wins!)

How do you RP?

Just play the game. If you're in the sandbox, you're roleplaying.

But if you want to take it deeper, if you want to explore your character's motivations and emotions, then you can always join one of the RP channels and interact with other people. If you don't know what channels to join, check here for a full list. Also, join the BackStage forums, because they are awesome too.

Or, you can write a story and blog it. There are massive amounts of rp blogs out there all telling the story of New Eden.

When I was on WoW it was difficult to get started in it because there were no guilds and websites there to help you out. (that I knew of anyhow)

World of War Craft: 0

EvE Online: 10 (EvE wins!)

So there you have it folks. RP on EvE is far superior, so if you're playing WoW, quit and rp on EvE... (I might be a little bit biased :))

***

The Rollercoaster Thrill Ride that is Eve Online, with Cookies, Review by Rixx Javix @ EVEOGANDA
The Entire Wormhole That Eve Is by Harrigan Vonstudly @ Gun Turret Diplomacy
EVE Online Community Review by Drackarn @ Sand, Cider and Spaceships
EVE is what the player makes of it by tgl3 @ Through Newb Eyes

Entry 145: The Pleasure Hub

2011-12-15T17:57:00.002-05:00

"You look like a poster child for the 24th Imperial Crusade." He shook his head with a slight roll of his eyes. "You're in the Federation, you can't go prancing around in your militia uniform."

"You didn't say what to wear, and anyhow it's all I keep in my shuttles." She looked down at her pristine uniform, "It's not that obvious is it, not like I have on any medals."

"You're about as subtle as a Nyx in high sec." He took her by the arm, "C'mon, we need to get you changed." He led her into a nearby clothing store and took her straight into the dressing room. "Wait here."

Moments later a neon blue-haired sales girl passed her an outfit over the half-door, "He says he wants you to put this on."

"...uh, where is the rest of it?"

"Oh, right." She handed over a pair of strappy heels.

"I meant, wheres the rest of the clothes?" Shalee said as she checked her reflection in the dressing room mirror, frowning. The flimsy material barely covered her torso, "Are there pants? A skirt?"

The sales girl laughed, "Oh, you Amarrians. So precious!" She opened up the door and cast a critical eye over Shalee, "It's a dress." She moved behind her and wrapped a necklace around her throat. "There, perfect mademoiselle. Perfect! Your gentleman will adore it."

"He's not my 'gentleman'." Shalee wrinkled her nose.

"Mmm." the girl said with a knowing smile, as if she didn't believe her. "He says to meet him outside. I will have these clothes delivered to your shuttle." She said as she folded up the militia uniform. "Have fun!"

Apprehensively Shalee met up with Kathetel, "Okay what's going on? Why am I wearing this? Where are we going? And what in Jove's space are you wearing?" She drug her gaze down the length of him, giggling at the skin tight translucent shirt and tight-fitted pants. "They shine! Your pants glitter...."

He sighed, "You used to be so professional."

"Mmm. Sorry. Okay." She bit down on her lips to keep from laughing, her expression morphing into something serious.

"You wanted to know, remember?" He took her hand and pressed a metal device against her palm, injecting a nanochip. "Your new identity, for tonight anyhow. Lolita Arceli."

"Ah, undercover work. Sounds exciting."

"We'll see if you think so after it's over." He unclipped her hair and ran his fingers through it, mussing it up a bit. "Open your mouth."

"What?"

"Just do it."

Skeptically she parted her lips and winced as he poured a vial of sweet liquid across her tongue. "You're drugging me...?"

"Mildly. Don't worry, it will only last a couple of hours. It's necessary."

"Why?"

"Because they'd never buy it otherwise. You're too uptight. You spent a couple of months working on this assignment, gaining their trust. And now it's paid off, you just got clearance to the Red Room and you can bring along a guest."

"What's the Red Room?"

"You'll see."

By the time they arrived at their destination she felt as if she were floating in a sea of colors. "I feel funny."

"That's the point. You're high. They will think you're just high instead of...different."

"Oh." She laughed, "Getting high for the Empire!"

He tightened his grasp on her arm, "You must say very little from here on out, got it?"

"Got it."

The entrance to the pleasure hub was surprisingly ordinary. They were met by a professional looking Intaki who smiled and scanned their palms. After clearing them through security, they were lead into a long, dimly lit room. The walls were filled with monitors showing a variety of sexuals pleasures to be bought. Some screens showed scantily dressed girls posed provactively, others had young men. A stream of text scrolled beneath in neon red with prices for each encounter, both for neural and physical.

A bar stretched the length of the room with several patrons lounging around it, laughing and talking. A few holographic screens floated above the bar playing real time sessions with those who liked to be watched in the act.

Music played softly, mingling with the sounds of sex.

Shalee sideglanced, looking to Kathetel as the Intaki asked, "Do you need a moment to decide your pleasure?"

Kathetel shook his head, "Actually, you can take us to the Red Room. We should be on the list."

Her grin widened as she checked her datapad, "Ah, yes, of course. Do follow me." She lead them to the far end of the room and through another, well guarded door. Again they were processed through a security checkpoint. They walked down a long hallway, the artifical lights blurred as she glanced up and stumbled.

The Intaki pretended not to notice as Kathetel slid his arm around her back, steadying her, "Easy love."

They were shown into private room. As the door sealed behind them, Kathetel lead her to a sofa. In front of them a holographic display shimmered into view, the portal icon a half nude girl with her panties stretched across her thighs.

"Capsuleers," Kathetel said, queing up the menu.

Shalee squinted as she rubbed her face. "So this is it? This is the 'Red Room'?" she made air quotes with her fingers. "It's not even red!"

He laughed. "Look," he motioned to the holo. "That is the Red Room." A list of names scrolled through the air in red letters. Faces flashed behind the names.

"What the fuck," she muttered as she recognized a few names. "This is like outside? A menu? Like...no way. These people can't work here, they are capsuleers!"

"Bingo. They are capsuleers. Were, anyhow."

"What?"

He selected a name then answered her. "We're not paying for the actual person, it's their corpse."

"Get the fuck out. What? People pay for...to do...things..."

"There's an underground market for it, yeah, but only the very rich can afford it. To sex a capsuleer corpse is the ultimate dream for some."

She made a wretching sound. "That is so gross...wait. What are we doing here?!"

"Ordering." He chose an unfamiliar name. The wall behind them chimed several times as a side panel opened. A fabric covered slab with the corpse of a man slid into the room.

Shalee gasped, "What are you doing! You ordered us a corpse! I'm going to be sick."

He chuckled, "He was an agent; he was carrying something very valuable when he was podded." Kathetel unclasped Shalee's necklace and took it over to the body, using the end of the jagged jewel to slice into the dead flesh. He dug around until he found what he was looking for, a small chip.

Shalee followed him over to watch, her nose wrinkled. "I can't believe people actually do this." She cast a hesitant glance down the length of the nude body. "He doesn't even look like a corpse, he looks like he's alive."

"That's part of the procedure. They 'reanimate' the body, filling in anything that might be missing. The rest is parlor tricks. Nano animation that will respond to human contact."

"So you brought me all the way out here just so you could retrieve that?"

He nodded, "Pretty much. And to show you what you've forgotten. To show you what really goes on within the Federation. It's a hive of sin and desecration."

She winced. "I understand."

"Do you really? Do you understand that this is the sort of thing we fight against. To keep the Empire pure of this kind of blasphemy." He nodded his head toward the corpse. "This would never happen in Empire."

She nodded.

"As long as you continue with your duty, as long as you follow orders, we turn a blind eye to your other activities."

She quirked a brow, "Oh...I think I get it. So I wasn't really didn't betray either agency... I just did both."

"Precisely. Now..." he said as pushed he grabbed her chin and tilted her head to kiss her mouth before she could even react. She pulled away and slapped his face.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" she demanded.

"We are in a pleasure hub, you need to walk out of here looking...pleased." He smirked as he rubbed his jaw. "Just part of the cover."

Entry 144: The Quest

2011-11-30T23:51:00.002-05:00

She swayed her hand in front of the holographic console, activating it. The holoform of a brown-robbed Amarrian monk appeared, his fingers steepled.

"Greetings Commodore Lianne, how may I help you?"

Shalee nodded her head to the data guide reflexively, then laughed at herself. "I always forget you aren't real." She settled back in her chair. "I need information on the Amity Project."

"Searching." The wall-sized screen behind the monk shimmered as streams of text processed, flashing in neon green lettering. A myriad of pictures flashed behind the text, faces and places and a thousand other things that could be linked to Amity Project loaded, waiting to be viewed.

"Shall I connect you to their info-portal?" Layered above the text and links, a black circular logo appeared with a gold AP entertwined in the center. The image of the portal pulsed, the watery logo appearing in the form of a wormhole.

Shalee nodded. "Activate, please."

The screen around the logo faded to black as the portal spread. Above the logo a number appeared. 796,243,965.

"What does the number mean?"

The monk replied, "It is the number of slaves helped by the organization."

"Huh." She furrowed her brows, "That's a rather bold statement, especially a public one. So that's how many slaves they have freed?"

The monk's face remained passive as he paused, absorbing data. "Helped, not freed, implying that they are not operating outside of the law, even in Empire space."

"Ah. Clever. What is their mission statement?"

"The Amity Project's mission statement is 'to educate and empower former slaves and other misfortunates, while advocating on the behalf of those who cannot fight for their own freedom."

"How are they funded?" she asked.

"The Amity Project is a privately funded organization."

"Can you dig deeper?"

"Access denied," he replied.

"Search for Kyrie Lo'Sava."

"Access denied."

"Molok's balls," she sweared. "Terminate portal." She threaded her fingers through her long hair, "Connect with ...." she searched through her cards, finding the one Kathetel had given her weeks ago. She read off the number. The holoscreen lit immediately with the Imperial Agent's face.

"Took you long enough."

"I've been busy."

He swayed his hand, "Yeah yeah, war and all that. So, what do I owe the pleasure of this communication?"

"I want to know about the Amity Project."

He chuckled, "Ah, them." He leaned back in his chair and lit a cigar, taking his time to respond. "Just a ragtag bunch of do-gooders for the most part. Some are on the extremist side. Why?"

She said nothing.

"Ah ha. You've been unraveling. You've found out your involvement with them, I presume?"

She nodded. "It doesn't make sense."

He exhaled a ring of smoke, "I suppose not. Not from where you're sitting, anyhow."

"I don't see how I can be both an agent of the Empire and part of the Project too." She hesitated, "Was I some kind of double agent?"

"In a manner of speaking, I suppose you could call it that."

"Great," she muttered sarcastically.

He peered at her questionally as he puffed on his cigar. "Sounds like you need a fieldtrip. Theres a place you need to see, it will explain a lot." Her neocomm flashed with an incoming message, "I just sent you coordinates. Meet me there in one hour and I'll answer any question you have." He closed the connection, smirking.

She glanced down at the coordinates. "A pleasure hub in Gallente space? Oh boy."

Entry 143: The Visitor

2011-11-29T22:31:00.004-05:00

A slight breeze blew across the balcony, clinking together the long jewelled strands of a wind chime. The musical notes caught her attention and she glanced to the open doors, enraptured by the endless sky painted an array of pastel colors, soft pinks, rose, lavender and warm orange.

Huola Seven, the home of Cerra Manor, was breathtakingly beautiful even in the rainy season.

She'd been planet side for hours, waiting for Concord and other governmental officials to give the green light on flying. Mysteriously, all across New Eden every space port had been temporarily closed without any real explanation why. It happened a couple of times a year, so she decided not to worry about it too much.

She sighed restlessly, wishing to be beyond the perfect sky, piercing through the atmosphere. She longed to be in pod, in flight, in battle.

Her pulse raced at the heady thoughts, her mind imprinting a war zone across the panoramic, balcony view. Streams of sunlight became laser beams, the swirling clouds morphed into an enemy fleet.

She conjured up the voices of her fleet mates, moving them into position. As the breeze picked up outside, the clouds morphed yet again, tumbling into one another. The two fleets collided.

The clinking of the wind chimes became artillery fire. Thunder rolling in the distance was now the sound for the turrets firing from an Abaddon.

Lightning flashed suddenly- an explosion.

A knock at her bedroom door roused her out of her reverie, her imaginary battle.

"Come in," she said as she sat up in her chair.

The door was opened by one of the servants of the manor. A tall, young Minmatar woman bowed her head as she dipped into a slight curtsy. She wore a long black gossamer dress overlapped with red and gold patterns. Gold bangles entwined both wrists. A band of gold wrapped around her throat with a single red gem in the center, laying at the hallow of her throat. Her hair hung to her shoulder on one side, the other shaved, revealing a strange tattoo that stretched from her cheek to just behind her ear.

Shalee quirked a brow. A Krusual servant? The Krusual- a tribe of the Minmatar- were rumored to be the most barbaric of them all. Hardly the stuff servants were made out of. A shiver of unease shimmered along her spine.

Shalee looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something. "Well?"

"M'lady...."

"Yes?"

Kyrie stared at Shalee. "I..."

"Hmm...?"

The Krusual shifted from one foot to the other impatiently, her lips parted as if she wanted to say something but couldn't bring herself to utter the words.

"I usually don't take my tea until later..." Shalee offered, wondering if the new servant was shy. She flashed her a warm smile, "Is this your first day? You seem a bit uneasy. You shouldn't worry, though we are Amarrian we do not keep slaves here, nor do we condone it. Official policy of the corporation, even. You are safe here."

"M'lady..." Kyrie uttered, her dark gaze focused on the floor. Her voice tensed, "I know you do not believe in slavery."

"Alright..." Shalee said, a bit confused by the girl.

"You truly don't remember me?" she asked as she looked up. A tiny line of worry creased her brow. "I am no servant..." she said proudly.

Oh Jove! Not again. Shalee sighed inwardly. Yet another person from her past, one she couldn't remember, someone lost with the memories of the past several years after a cloning 'accident'.

"I'm sorry...I don't remember you."

"May I come in?" Kyrie asked, still standing by the door.

Shalee nodded and motioned toward some chairs by the balcony doors. "Yes. Please, do sit." Outside, the rain began to fall and the air cooled somewhat as it blew into the room.

Kyrie nodded and closed the door behind her, then joined Shalee, taking a seat opposite of her.

"I'm sorry that I mistook you for a servant," Shalee apologized.

"It's alright. I've been waiting to hear that you've recovered your memories, I wasn't going to approach you until I was certain that you would know me, M'lady. But...it simply cannot wait any longer."

"What can't?"

The dark woman furrowed her brows, "This." She pulled open a beaded pouch and withdrew two vials, offering them to Shalee.

She took them cautiously, "What are they?"

"Poisons, M'lady."

"Pardon?"

Kyrie nodded, "The Black Dream. Poisons made my by Tribal 'witch doctors', great men who live in the mountains...none of this is familiar to you?" she asked hopefully, as if trying to jar a memory.

Shalee shook her head no. "I...I wish I could remember, I am so very sorry." She sighed, "I don't even know your name."

"Kyrie Lo'Sava, from Eytjangard. I was one of the people you rescued last year. We only met briefly on Eytjangard, but later I got in contact with you and wanted to repay you for your sacrifices. I worked with your people on Adia for a few months, taking some of the refugees back to Eytjangard with me."

Shalee continued to stare at her as if trying to force the memories. "I see."

Kyrie continued. "You were training me."

"For what? To be a combat pilot?"

The Minmatar shook her head no. "To be a relief worker like you...your work in the Amity Project was inspiring not only to myself but to others in my clan. The Elders wanted to offer you a gift."

Amity Project? She vaguely remembered of hearing about the organization, a group of capsuleers that worked to help free slaves and relocate political refugees.

Eran had mentioned to her once that she had done some sort of work freeing slaves, so she was willing to give Kyrie the benefit of the doubt and believe her.

"I see. So your Elders....wanted to give me poison?" She wrinkled up her nose. "Why?"

"No M'lady. They sent you various pieces of jewelry, rare gems that can only be found on Caskpri Mountain. I delivered them to you several months ago. And that is when you asked if I could bring you the Black Death."

"I asked you for this? What kind of poison is it? What does it do? What did I even want it for?"

Kyrie nodded slowly, "Yes, you did. It is a rare poison that can be added to a capsuleer's pod fluid. It absorbs into the body, first attacking the mind. The victim will hallucinate and go completely mad. There's no coming out of it. It makes the victim commit suicide, usually by ripping out their eyes and bleeding to death."

"Oh Jove...that is....horrible." She shivered as the grim reality of what the poison really meant. "So by using this, you not only murder a person but every clone they try to jump into..."

Kyrie nodded. "Precisely."

"I can't imagine what I was going to do with this...who I was going to use it on."

Dark eyes stared at her for a long moment, the silence filled with thunder rumbling outside. Finally, she answered. "I do."

"Tell me."

"You...you wanted to bring down a powerful man, an enemy to the Empire, you said. One of unspeakable cruelty, a renowned murderer. It was an assignment, you said."

Shalee paled, gasping with horror. "No...."

"His name," Kyrie paused, wearing a look of sorrow, "is Tigerfish Torpedo..."

Entry 142: A Fragment of Truth

2011-09-16T18:08:00.005-04:00

The days following Jacke's death settled into a routine of endless patrols along the Empire's borders, joining militia fleets, and spending time with Tiger in her free moments- which had become something of a rarity.

Though she barely knew the boy, some part of her was in constant mourning for him. Often she'd find her thoughts drifting to the dark haired Minmatar child while she was drifting among the stars, patrolling from system to system.

In an almost restless drive to find out more about him, she spent her downtime in between fleets searching through various databases for more information. With a little digging, she found out she'd been the one to bring him to the Keep, that he'd been orphaned, and that his goal was to become a capsuleer.

She found the logs of his studies and admired the countless hours he'd spent in the flight sims at the Keep.

At first she thought he might have been the illegitimate child of Omnicide Incarnate, a comrade in the Amarr militia, but later read that Jacke admired the infamous often-solo pilot, that he wanted to be just like him and took his last name as his own.

Over and over she rolled it around in her mind, the idea that he was 'playing on the rooftop and fell'. It made little sense. The child had a remarkable mind and determination of an adult, and yet he didn't have the sense not to play out on the icy rooftop?

Sighing, she docked up in the 24th station in Huola, trying to force her thoughts away from the dead boy.

After showering and changing into her militia uniform, she took the lift to deck 407 and made her way to Huola Haze, a capsuleer cigar bar and social lounging area.

She settled into chair by the floor-to-ceiling window, her gaze captured ever so often by flashing lights beyond the glass. Destruction in all of it's macabre glory, beautiful colored explosions and lazor lights streaming across the dark vast void. She watched impassively, already wearing the dull, nonchalant expression of a capsuleer who could view such a thing and see only the mistakes of those who lost the skirmish, never once giving a thought to the cold brutality of those who did not survive. Crew members were another piece of equipment, another necessity to fufill the capsuleer's agenda, whatever that may be.

Crew members were expendable, easily replacable. Forgotten.

Another explosion lit the bar, this one much closer to where she sat. A thud followed the flashing light and as she looked to the window, she saw the bloody remains of some poor unfortunate crew chief as his corpse had landed against the glass, half of his face missing.

His eye hung from his skull, sticking to the window above his head as his body started to slide down the blood-slicked surface.

Wincing, she quickly looked away as a station scrubber drone vaccumed up the remains and cleaned the window.

"Well thats not something you see everyday."

She glanced up and nodded, "Yeah. Kind of creepy, huh." He wore a long black Amarrian robe trimmed in gold along the sleeves. As he pulled back the hood, she noted his dark hair and pale blue eyes. Shalee thought him ruggedly attractive.

He grinned as he took a seat in front of her.

Shalee watched as he lit his cigar then blew a ring of smoke upwards, "Miss Lianne, you've been something of a hassle to keep up with lately," he said.

Her thin brow quirked, "Pardon?" He knew her? Huh.

He narrowed his gaze at her, his expression equally inquisitive. "I'll be damned. I thought this was some kind of game you've been playing." He puffed on his cigar as the corners of his mouth twisted upwards into a slight smirk. "I guess this is the part where you tell me you have no idea who I am."

She stared blandly at him, "Should I know you?" she asked, feeling a bit uneasy.

He exhaled a mouthful of smoke then laughed. "You're good." He leaned forward, studying her face. "Really good, but that's why we hired you in the first place."

She stiffened, looking blankly at him still. "Hired me?"

He laughed again, "One assignment to Jove space and I come back to this? I haven't been gone that long." he sighed as he settled back into his oversized, leather chair. "Okay okay. Let's say I'm buying it. Let's say it's true, that you really have lost your memories. What is the last thing you remember before becoming a capsuleer?"

She jutted her chin up and gave him an icy roll of her eyes, "I don't believe I have to tell you anything."

"Ah, lost the memories but not that firey attitude that always has a way of getting you into trouble, I see."

"Who are you?" she asked finally, her curosity overcoming her anger for the moment.

Kathetel smiled, "A friend."

"Don't suppose you have a name?" she inquired.

He hesitated for a moment before responding, his amusement having melted away as he realized she was sincere. "How about this. I'll give you my name after you tell me what you last remember."

She blew out a frustrated breath. "Okay fine. I'll play your game. I last remember living on Adia, at my Father's house. There were rumors of the Empress's new proclimation of freeing slaves to the eighth generation I think?"

He nodded, "Go on."

"There was to be a ball that week, nothing out of the ordinary really. It's all kind of hazy." She scrunched up her brows, "I think I had to go to the doctor, I wasn't feeling well."

He nodded again, "Ah. So you lost over two years of memories?"

She shook her head, "So they say."

"And you remember nothing of those lost years?"

"...no. I try, I really do. They say I'll regain my memories in a matter of weeks, but so far...nothing."

"They? Jonathan?"

"No. My chief pod tech, Arrok."

He frowned, "Your chief pod tech is Jonathan and has been since you've been a capsuleer."

A memory tugged at the edges of her mind. "Wait. I think I do remember him." She became excited, "I do! Is that his name? Jonathan? He was there the first time I ever woke up...but I've not seen him since."

"Interesting."

"I'll ask Keon. He was there, he must know what happened to him," she said excitedly, happy to have some kind of memory. It had been too frustrating living in a world where she remembered nothing. Finally. Perhaps she was starting to remember.

Kathetel's face twisted into hot anger, "Sonnovabitch! Keon?"

She nodded very slowly, "...yeah."

He calmed instantly, regaining his composure. Grimly, he asked, "Do you see Keon very much now?"

"My brothers have rented a villa near the Keep, I try to see them as often as I can, but often I'm too tired to travel back to Amarr after patrols."

"Jacobi is there too?" He asked incrediously.

She nodded, "Yeah....do you know them?" she asked.

"Something like that. And your corpmates, have they met your brothers?"

"Keon and Jacobi have dropped by once or twice, but mostly I visit them." she said warily, wondering why he was so interested in her life.

He shook his head as he exhaled a series of smoke rings, "Have you not questioned why you are here?" He swayed his hand, "This is a far cry from Adia. Have you not wondered why you are fighting a thankless job in the militia? Why you are even a capsuleer?"

"Every single day," she admitted. "I told you what I remember, now tell me your name."

"Why do you think you are here?" he asked, ignoring her question.

"I..." she hesitated, obviously afraid to tell him the truth, that her Father had orchestrated the whole thing, that she was sent there to make connections for the family. Unfortunately he had died in a shuttle accident, but her brothers wanted to continue his work. Later on, Jacobi and Keon told her the real reason she had been sent into the world of the capsuleers. Revenge. She was to be the instrument that was used in destroying Aldrith Shutaq, a man who had seduced and ultimately caused the death of her Mother.

Her Mother. Jea Cerra. She died, pregnant with Aldrith's child.

Keon had mentioned to her several nights prior that he was putting together a plan to bring Aldrith to his knees. He was going to have the foolish Mitara, Aldrith's wife, podded. It wouldn't have been a big deal in the grand scheme of things, capsuleers were podded all the time. But rarely did capsuleers fly while pregnant.

An eye for an eye.

A child for a child, he reasoned. And Shalee would be the one to do it. She'd be the one to get close enough when Mitara's guard was down.

"What have they told you?" Kathetel asked again.

"It doesn't matter. I'm here, I do my job, I defend Amarrian sovereignty."

"Your job?" he laughed. "Your real job is far different than your fleets within the militia. You're not just a militia pilot. You're an Imperial Agent and have been for over two years." He handed her a card, "This is my comm number. Unravel the truth, Shalee. Consider it an assignment. Figure out who you are and why you are really here. Then, and only then, will things make sense." He snubbed what was left out of his cigar in the ashtray before standing.

"We will be watching," he said as he grinned, "Just like the good old days eh. A pity you've forgotten them."

Entry 141: Falling

2011-08-31T23:23:00.003-04:00

"Jacke!" she screamed his name as she watched him fall, snowflakes bright against the dark abyss he was plummeting in to.

"Noooooo!"

The snowflakes bled into long streams of light.

"Warp drive active," the automated voice announced as her ship lurched into hyperspace, pinpoints of starlight stretching across her camera lens.

The dream shifted again; she started to fall through the inky blackness of space as her ship exploded around her.

***

Sitting up in bed, she laid her hand against her chest as her heart thudded loudly. Her pulse raced and her breathing was quick and gaspy as she forced herself to awaken fully.

"It's just a dream it's just a dream," she told herself over and over as she tried to calm down, trying to reign in the sea of emotions that were drowning her.

The nightmare lingered, the same she'd been having for weeks. She'd dream of dying. Of the Brutor boy. And falling. Always falling. It made little sense to her and yet it terrified her at the same time.

She glanced to the open window, watching as snowflakes drifted into the room. The sheer curtains danced on the breeze, blowing inward as gusts of cold snowy wind chilled the air.

Sliding out of bed, she neared the enormous window and gazed out into the dark sky.

She tipped her head back, half closing her eyes as she felt ice cold flakes landing against her flushed skin. Fever burned through her, her eyes were glassy, rimmed with dark shadows. She'd become exhausted to the point of getting sick from lack of sleep.

The long gown she wore silhouetted her lithe body as the stepped up onto the ledge, the hem of it rippling around her ankles.

"Always, always falling," she whispered to herself as she stretched her arms out. For a moment she entertained the idea of falling and waking up into a new world, one that made sense to her.

"Come away from the window," a voice whispered in return.

Shalee tensed, the child-like voice frightening her.

"Who is there?" she called out as she looked over her shoulder seeing the shadowy image of a young girl with long black hair.

"You must come away from the window, you might fall and your brothers will be horribly upset with you." Raven commanded.

Compelled to obey without understanding why, she stepped down to the floor. Shafts of moonlight poured into the room, illuminating Shalee by the window, casting Raven into the shadowy darkness.

"Who are you?" Shalee asked. Her brows scrunched together as her gaze narrowed. She couldn't make out her face.

"Your brothers call me Raven."

"What are you doing here? Did they send you here?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"To protect you. To guide you."

"You're a little young to be protecting me, don't you think?"

The little girl giggled mischievously.

Shalee stepped into the shadows with a sigh, "Enough of this, go back to the nursery where you belong. Does Brystal know you're running around in the middle of the night?"

Raven laughed again, "I don't live in the nursery," she said matter of factly.

Shalee stretched out a hand attempting to grab the girl by her arm, "Now look here-" her voice faltered when the child disappeared.

"Fooled you," Raven said as she suddenly appeared behind her.

Shalee spun around and gasped as her hand went straight through the child. "Stop it!" she yelled, moving over to the holodrone equipment, "You should know better to be playing with holo devices, it can be dangerous."

As Shalee disconnected the holo receiver into her suite, she turned around expecting Raven to be gone.

The little girl smirked, her eyes lit with an eerie devilish glint. "You can't get rid of me that easy."

Shalee gasped, "What are you, some kind of...ghost?"

Raven snorted. "Ghost aren't real. I am an AI device that has been implanted within your mind. To help you."

"...okay," Shalee said, clearly unnerved.

"Your brothers assumed you would have difficulty adjusting to your new life and had me designed. I am a failsafe, of sorts."

"Why am I just now seeing you?"

"You haven't needed me until now."

Shalee glanced towards the window, "Ah. You thought I would jump."

Raven nodded. "And thus, I had to stop you."

"I see." Shalee threaded her fingers through her hair. "So...you're just sort of...lurking? Inside my mind?"

Raven nodded again, "Something like that."

"Can you read my thoughts?"

"No. But I can see what you see." She pointed to her eyelid, "Your implants allow it."

"Interesting." And creepy.

A knock at the door sent the slaver hound puppies into a whirl of barking. Raven disappeared as Shalee called out, "Who is there?"

"It's Brystal," replied the blond Gallente in a muffled voice.

"Come in," Shalee said as she pulled a beige silk robe over her nightgown. "Is something the matter?" she asked as she noticed the heartbroken expression Brystal wore.

The Gallente nodded, sniffling, "It's Jacke. He's dead. He had been in a coma for weeks after falling from the rooftop and....tonight he died. He just.." she choked up, "died."

"He didn't just die he was MURDERED don't you remember!" a tiny voice screamed inside of her head. "Raven killed him and she's going to make you kill someone else!"

Blood dripped from her nose as her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Seconds later Shalee hit the floor.

Entry 140: A New Possession

2011-07-07T21:03:00.002-04:00

"You're different."

Shalee flicked her gaze to the young Brutor boy who stood in her doorway, arms crossed casually across his chest. He leaned his shoulder against the door and stared at her with eerie coffee colored eyes, not once blinking.

"What do you mean?" she asked, feeling a moment of unease.

"Every one's talking about how you've forgotten stuff since you were podded. Some people say that it's normal sometimes to forget some stuff. But you've forgotten everything, haven't you? You don't even know who I am..."

Her chin jutted up arrogantly as a smirk pulled at the corner of her mouth, "You are Jacke Incarnate."

"Yes. You know my know name. Guess you read a file..."

A look of anger flashed across her delicate features. Of course she'd read a file. She'd been drowning in them since she had been thrust into this bizarre capsuleer's world weeks ago. Files on everyone, the people of the corporation, the people she flew with on a regular basis, and everyone who lived in the Keep.

"Brutor boy. Came here last year. Your tutor is Mister Perelli. When you're not in school you spend your time in the flight simulators." she said flatly as if repeating something she'd recently read verbatim.

He continued to stare at her. "Like I said. You read a file." He shrugged, "Red doesn't come around anymore. She used to come almost every single night but since you were podded, she's disappeared."

A thin line of worry etched her forehead as she furrowed her brows, "Why doesn't she come...have I done something to upset her?"

He continued to smile at her, "Perhaps."

Shalee frowned, "I'm sorry..." She fidgeted with her hair, tucking it behind her ear, "Should I mail your little friend, ask her to return to the Keep?"

He kicked away from the door and entered into her room. She watched him as he neared her dressing table. He paused by the mirror, looking at her in the reflected glass, "She will come when she is ready, I suspect. I just...hope she knows that it's okay to come back."

"Why wouldn't it be okay?" she asked, completely confused by the child.

"It's hard to explain...I don't think you'd understand."

"Why not? Just because I don't remember some things doesn't mean I am completely useless," she said with a hint of annoyance.

"I'm sorry," he said as he turned around to face her. "I didn't mean to upset you. It's just... I miss her. I just want her to come back, to let us know what's going on..." He stared at her.

A look of pain radiated across her face as she suddenly started to rub her temples, the onslaught of a headache pounding against her skull. "I think I need to lay down," she said as she stumbled towards her bed.

Jacke moved to her side, grabbing her arm, helping to ease her down on the bed, "Are you alright? Do you want me to call for a medic?"

"No no, I just...have a headache. A blinding headache. I think...I'll be alright," she said as her nose started to bleed. She panicked as she brought her hand up to her nose, tilting her head back. "Oh god, I'm bleeding."

He squeezed her hand. "Shhh. She's coming." He said soothingly as she passed out.

The holodrone whirled nearby as the image of a red-headed little girl appeared. She rushed towards Jacke, "I can't stay!"

"I thought you were gone forever! What's happening to her?"

"It's her brothers! They kidnapped her. They took away the last two years! They put her back to the time when she lived at home, when she was a Sani Sabik with them!"

"But how are you here if she can't remember?"

"Jonathan helped, he had my files separate from hers, he was studying me. When she was podded last time, he snuck me back in when he put in those implants but I can't stay out here for long else they will find out!"

"Her brothers?"

She nodded.

"Why are they doing all of this?"

"Because they are going to make her do something horrible. They are going to-" The holodrone fell to the floor as it was deactivated.

Another one activated and Jacke turned, expecting to see her, "Red, what's-" his voice faded as he stared at the image of Red, except this time she had jet black colored hair pulled back into a ponytail. She grinned at him.

"Hello Jacke."

"...who are you?"

"Her, of course." She tipped her head towards the bed where Shalee lay unconscious.

"...no you aren't."

"Sure I am." She gave a dimpled grin. "But you can call me Raven. I'm sure we're going to have lots of fun together." She slanted her eerie gaze towards the door as it slammed closed, followed by the sound of the lock clicking in place.

Her lips twisted devilishly, "Let's play a game, shall we?" The windows flew open suddenly, followed by a blast of icy cold air. Snowflakes drifted inside, melting on the floor.

"It's a long way down...don't you think?"

Entry 139: Drowning

2011-07-05T20:48:00.002-04:00

Location: Amarr Medical Facilities
Date: 07.02.113

Memories played like a holoreel on fastforward as she climbed her way out of the inky darkness of unconsciousness. Voices were all around, surrounding her, drowning her. A cacophony of familiar and unfamiliar bled together, making little sense to her.

Her hands frantically grasped at the sides of the cloning vat and she pulled herself up from the shimmering ambiotic fluid. She yanked out the breathing tube and inhaled her first breath as she rubbed her eyes, smearing away congealed fluid. Memories became clearer, the last moment in space. She'd been in a military complex in Kourmonen with Eran. She had lost her Omen, and then her pod, she couldn't get out and then....everything went black.

She could still feel the adrenaline rush of combat coursing through her, the euphoric high that sustained her night after night as she battled it out on the field against the Minmatar.

She blinked several times trying to force away the cloudiness.

She shook her head, thinking something was wrong. "Jonathon?" she called out in a raspy voice, asking for her chief pod tech. He was always there to help her through those first few moments of being 'resurrected'. Gods, how she hated being podded.

As the room came into focus, the voices settled upon her like a shard of ice being drug down her spine.

Keon.

Her brother was here? In the medical facility? But why? "Keon? Keon what's happening...what are you doing here?" she lifted a hand to her neck, feeling as if she had a sore throat.

Silence filled the air suddenly as both men turned to face the cloning vat.

"She's awake. It's too late." Jonathan said to Keon, "She's awake. There's nothing I can do now." His voice was strained.

"Unacceptable." Her brother replied, his bright vivid blue eyes locked on her.

"Look, theres nothing I can do! Only one clone can be activated at a time, no matter what. That's more than just Imperial law, it's science." Jonathan argued.

His chin tilted, "Then it looks like we have a little problem on our hands here, don't we?"

"It's done. You were too late." Jonathan said as he took a step towards the door.

"Do not move." Keon said as he pulled a pistol from beneath his robes, steadily aiming it at the pod tech.

"Too late for what?" she asked in a fearful voice. "Keon please, I don't know what's going on here but we can work it out...just put the gun down, please!"

"This wasn't supposed to happen." Keon aimed the pistol at Shalee, "And if I kill her now? This one dies and you can wake her up again, as before?"

Jonathan paled, "...that is murder."

"What is murder to a capsuleer? You have any idea how many lives she takes in a single night?"

"I cannot be responsible for this, I will not!" he threaded his fingers through his hair. "Do not ask this of me, I cannot kill her."

"But you can wake her up again?" Keon demanded.

Jonathon nodded.

Panic seized her. "No!" She screamed as Keon was upon her. "Don't worry little sister, you'll be fine soon enough," he whispered as he grabbed her by the throat.

She gasped, choking for air, hands frantically slamming against his chest. He shoved her down beneath the fluid and held her there until she stopped fighting.

He watched the life drain from her eyes, waited until her body was completely limp before he pulled his hand up out of the vat.

"Was that so difficult?" he asked as he stood, turning towards Jonathan. "Now bring her back, but this time a little more docile?"

Jonathan doubled over a trashcan, retching.

Keon stared down at her lifeless body. "And destroy every god damned file you have on her, everything from the last two years. From this point on, she will resurrect as the data I had given you. Send that to every cloning facility she has contracts with."

Entry 138: The Grandest Ruse of All

2011-06-24T00:43:00.003-04:00

Eighteen hours ago...

"Eran! I can't warp. I'm going down!"

"Get your pod out okay?"

"I'm trying! Something's wrong! It's not letting me-"

Comms fell silent as the Kourmonen sky blazed with the sudden explosion of her Omen, an Amarrian cruiser classed vessel.

Earlier, after finishing a long patrol, she had docked up in Kourm intending to shuttle it back to Houla. The system was relatively quiet with only a handful of militia members assistating the Navy inside one of the military complexes. She and Eran had decided to offer support and after the plex was secured they remained inside, practicing a few dog-fighting maneuvers.

Unaware that the enemy militia had entered system and scanned them down, they were caught off guard as eight Minmatar pilots landed right on top of them.

There would be no escape.

Paralyzed, she was only cognizant of the next few seconds. Pieces of her mangled ship engulfed her capsuel, flames burned along bits of metal and electronics that floated around her pod.

Her tomb, a fiery pyre in the blackness of space.

Realization of imminent death seized her thoughts, and all she could do was offer up a silent prayer before they shredded her pod.

Ambiotic fluid sizzled as it sprayed into the flames, her lifeless body suspended in the wreckage.

***

Pain throbbed at her temples as she shifted restlessly on the bed. She could hear whispering, soft voices nearby though she couldn't quite make out what they were saying.

Something nagged at the edge of her subconsciousness. Keon's voice. Her eldest brother. She felt his hand along her cheek as he soothed her, "Shhhh. You need your rest."

Her body releaxed at the familiar voice and seconds later she was lost to dreams once more.

"She's asleep again."

"Good." said her middle brother, Jacobi Cerra. "She looks the same, I think. All except the hair."

"She did that more than a month ago," replied Keon.

"She always was impulsive."

"And foolish. Just like her Ni Kunni Mother."

"So how did you manage it?" Jacobi asked.

"Paid off the right people. They were almost ready the last time she was podded, had it been another few hours and we would have had her then. Fortunately she was podded again a mere eight days later."

"Quite brilliant, brother. So our dear little sis is going to wake up and have absolutely no memory of her life as a capsuleer?"

"Not exactly. It was explained to me as 'rifting'. The part of her mind that allowed her to learn flying and whatever else she used in space is still there, it's just melded with a soft-clone scan of when she was with us."

Jacobi nodded, "But how do you expect her to return to her normal life? Wont they suspect when she hasn't a clue who they are?"

Keon shook his head, "Once she is awake, we explain everything to her..." His mouth twisted deviously. "Remember, she loved us at one time and her loyalty was to us, not them." He stroked her hair from her face, "And now it will be so again."

"Can't we just keep her here? Why do you insist on sending her back into that world? She is safe with us."

"She is the best instrument of revenge we have at our disposal." He said matter-of-factly.

Jacobi nodded reluctantly, "I suppose you're right, brother." He folded his arms and looked to the sleeping girl, "I just hope she can pull it off."

"You remember how I told you she started visiting me as a hologram? Of when she was a child?"

He nodded.

"Apparently she has done that with many others, but here is the interesting part. Only when she was asleep. She had no control over the hologram, no control over her subconscious." Keon smirked, "That little girl, the one they call 'Red', is going to help her."

"I'm afraid I'm not following..."

"Before, Red was essentially her, a part of her mind that manipulated her implants that allowed her to access the holodrones and holographic realms. But now, Red will be the AI I had inserted into her mind."

"So Red is gone?"

The eldest brother nodded, turning his gaze to Shalee as she slept. "Her implants allowed her to become Red, to interact with everyone as the hologram. Essentially we've silenced Red, and instead have given her an AI. Others will think the AI is Red."

Jacobi gave a thoughtful nod, "And what about her? Will she think she is part of some conspiracy?" He said as his gaze shifted to the window, absently noticing a handful of pod techs passing down the corridor. "How will you explain the last two years to her?"

"I've decided to tell her that Father sent her to the Academy and that it was his desire for her to become a capsuleer, to gain the favor of the Amarr militia and all the right people, that she was a plant for the Sani Sabik, and that when the time was right, she would fulfill his wishes."

A haughty smirk stretched across Jacobi's lips, "Very clever. So anything that anyone tries to tell her now, she will think is either a lie or part of the grand ruse she's been involved in this whole time."

Keon chuckled, "Precisely. She's a smart girl, she will play the part thinking she had been all along."

"Aren't you afraid she will just make all the same mistakes again? Falling in love with heathens, betraying the Empire by freeing slaves, etc."

Keon shook his head no, "She ran away. All of those choices she made on her own. This time she will have us."

Jacobi stroked a finger along her ankle, "And this time she will never leave us."

Shalee murmured in her sleep.

"Looks like she is waking up again. Shall we?" Keon said as he dropped a hand to her shoulder, shaking her very lightly.

"Shalee dear...time to wake up. We have so much to tell you...."

Entry 137: Dubious Intel

2011-06-14T17:09:00.001-04:00

"Okay. You have my attention," she said as she glanced around the room, her gaze skimming across the network terminal.

Earlier, she'd been sent a mysterious message from someone within the VETO corporation, and letting her curiosity override her common sense, she responded.

He said he had a message, one to be delivered in person. In between patrols, she decided to fly over to Goinard just to see what the message was. A part of her was reluctant, thinking it was some kind of prank, but as she was lead deep within the secure perimeter of VETO's headquarters, she quickly realized it was for real.

As she was lead into the heavily fortified armoured security room, she felt a moment of unease. Video monitoring equipment lined the walls. Thousands of network lights flickered, fluid router cables shimmered around the room as data transferred between various data banks. The airlock door sealed behind her, leaving her alone with a young Brutor.

Drem Haklar pulled his headphones from his head as the door sealed behind her. He straightened up, setting his feet on the floor as he grinned, "Ah, I was right. You did change your hair color. I thought so. It was a while ago, no?" He spoke with a heavy Venal accent, flashing her a white smile between pierced dark lips.

She nodded, "Yeah, I changed it. And you are who exactly? And what do you have to give me?" she asked skeptically as she rested her hands on her hips.

He watched her curiously as he stood, gesturing to the seat at the other side of his desk, "Have a seat. My name's Drem. Drem Haklar. I uh... well. Probably should explain this place and what I do first. I'm the Secure Comms officer for our corporation. Our boss likes to keep a solid network of Intelligence. You're stood right at the beating heart of Veto Corp right now. This is our mainframe control room. The equipment you see around you is our main frame's communications layer. We're hacked into pretty much every fluid router network you can think of here, watching, listening, and recording."

"I see." she glanced around the room again as she took a seat at his desk, her nose wrinkling, "So you're spying....got it."

"So, my boss wants to do business, but wants to keep distance, as do you, from the mails I've intercepted and monitored. He's asked me to offer you our eyes and ears, for anything you might need."

She frowned, "You're reading my mail? That is private!"

"I read every one's mail, with my boss's authorisation. For instance, I know there's a few Angel Cartel loyalists who've been tryng to figure a way to infiltrate us for months, but their CEO is too much of an idiot to get to grips with it. I know about a certain Gallente clone who was visiting you, about a certain Cartel Loyalist who's fucking his sister."

She sighed a soft little sound, "So he just lets you read my mail!" she threw her hands up in the air, obviously frustrated with the situation, not really caring about the Angel Cartels.

Drem shrugged his heavy shoulder and smiled, "Nothing leaves this room, I'm paid a lot of money to ensure that. That's why the walls are so thick. This place has a suppression field, and ten metre thick walls, with one of the best electronic firewalls available. It's quite secure in here, the two weakest links ironically are you, and me."

"Wait. So why would he offer me intel? Whats the point?"

"He's extending an olive branch to see if you take it. It's a common practice. If business ties can be healed, then it's a start."

***

Kathetel frowned as the video went blank. "You were gone for twenty eight hours and this is what you come back with? A two minute video?"

"It's all you need to know."

He looked skeptic, "That one of the most powerful crime lords in low sec is offering to share intel with you." He laughed a sound of disbelief. "A loyalist. A known Amarrian loyalist. Why would he lift a finger to help the Empire?"

She made air quotes, "An olive branch." She said with a shrug.

"I thought you two weren't friends any more."

"We aren't."

"This seems pretty friendly to me."

"Ethan has his quirks. Maybe it will amuse him, hell if I know."

"And what do you have to give him in return? Your intel?"

"No. Not that I have any yet anyhow, I haven't even formed the group, though I have a couple of people in mind for it. I don't have to share anything with him. I wont even see him, only Drem. He'd be my handler."

"It's too generous." He frowned in puzzlement.

"So you're saying it's a bad idea?"

"Not necessarily," he conceded, "Having someone who can operate outside of Empire law is not a bad thing. It's just odd."

She shrugged. "I told him I wanted no part of VETO, but he was more than welcome to come work for me."

"And why would he do that? You don't have the resources and ISK that VETO allows him."

"Well, he didn't accept it exactly. Yet, anyhow."

"But what makes you think he will..." Kathetel laughed, "Ah. He has a thing for you?"

"Something like that."

"Romantic," He said with a laugh, "No doubt he has been watching you? Were you his assignment?"

"For two years..."

"This should get interesting. I bet he thinks he's in love with you."

She rolled her eyes.

"So whats with the bandages?" he nodded towards her wrist.

"Nothing."

"You can tell me now or I'll get it out of Red later. Your choice."

She frowned, "It's complicated."

"Isn't everything?" His smile widened.

"Drem and I got into a fight of sorts...he told me some things and thought I'd tell Ethan. He thought Ethan would kill him so...he was going to beat him to it. Right in front of me."

Kathetel quirked his brow, "He tried to kill himself and make you watch? But that doesn't explain your bandages..."

"I was stuck in the securest room in New Eden with no way to get help. Only he could open the doors...so I tried to force him to."

He clicked his tongue, "I see. So you hurt yourself to force him to open the doors to call for medics, using his affection for you against him."

She nodded, "Yeah, something like that. And it worked too. He survived. I woke up in VETO infirm the next day, the nano's healed most of it. So yeah. It worked out."

"I take it Ethan didn't kill him?"

"No. I guess he felt sorry for him," Shalee murmured. "Anyhow, he's a good kid, and good at what he does."

Kathetel smirked, "That crush run both ways?"

She argued, "I barely know him."

He shrugged, "Makes little difference. What I do know is that if I tell you to stay away from him you'll go to extraordinary measures to get close to him. So, do as you will, but be careful. He's so far off the radar that he isn't likely to make waves. As for your friend Tiger..."

She stiffened.

"Precisely what part of 'hes a dangerous man stay away from him' did you not understand, hmmm?"

Entry 136: Red Tiger

2011-05-28T20:56:00.004-04:00

She froze the holoscreen and stared at it, still wearing a look of disbelief that had plagued her face for the past half hour.

Tigerfish Torpedo, a former Sani Sabik and right hand man of the notorious Revan Nefarious, stood frozen in the holovid she'd just paused.

She studied the lines of his face, the glint of his eyes, the twisted curl of his mouth. A sadistic, eerie grin of pleasure.

His gloved hands were soaked with the blood of his crew members, men he'd just murdered for the sake of forcing someone else's will to his own. They were nothing more than pawns in some macabre game he was forcing Tiberious Thessalonia to play. Submit to his will, else more would die.

She pressed play again and heard him say, "If you don't help her, I'll go back and purge the rest of them. Their blood with be on your hands."

Again, she pressed pause and stared at him, her thoughts racing.

"You're a cold blood murderer...and you enjoy it," she whispered into the darkness.

With trembling hands, she poured a shot of whiskey and lit a cigarette, needing to calm her nerves.

It was one thing to hear rumors of such deeds, it was easy to dismiss them as idle gossip, half truths twisted to reflect a person in the worst possible light.

It was entirely different to have actual proof, to see the blood dripping from their hands, to see the look of pleasure gained from such gruesome acts.

She downed the shot then took a long draw off of her cigarette, placing it in the ashtray before she started to pace the dimly lit room. Behind her, Tiger's holographic form flickered.

An eerie feeling slid down her spine. "Why?" she asked as she turned to face the frozen image of him. "Why?"

"Because he is a bad, bad man," the holographic form of a little red headed girl responded.

Shalee jerked, darting her head as she searched for the girl. "Go away."

Red spoke rapidly, "You know he is bad but he reminds you of Hadrien. You feel guilty for not saving him. You killed him cause he was bad, you didn't even try to save him did you? You didn't try to help him."

"Stop it!" Her vision started to blur as her head pounded, throbbing with pain just behind her eyes.

"You want to help Tiger because you feel guilty! But you can't fix him. You just can't. Evil is evil and you know that. It doesn't go away...." the little girl laughed an eerie little sound, "...does it?" Her tone was accusing.

"Stop." Shalee lifted her hand and curled it in her hair, fingers tight in her long raven strands. "Stop, you're hurting me."

"You're hurting yourself." she said as she blinked into view finally, standing in front of Shalee. "Hurry up and pass out, I have to go tell Aldrith or Eran. I have to make them understand what you're doing!"

"Go to hell," she said as the blood dripped from her nose, staining her lips. She brushed the back of her hand across her mouth and chin, wiping away the blood, "I'm not going to let you do this. I am going to help him, he needs a friend. He needs me."

"You can't stop me," the girl challenged as she waited, watching Shalee's face as her eyes rolled back seconds before she collapsed to the floor. "Told you so."

Entry 135: A Night In Houla

2011-05-21T22:19:00.003-04:00

Two Days Ago:

Dim, artificial lighting of the hangar silhouetted her lithe form as she stretched her arms out parallel to the floor. She wore her pod suit, a thin, nearly translucent covering that molded her body as a second skin.

Jonathan, her chief pod tech, gave the go-ahead for flight after running the obligatory pre-flight medical scans.

Several other pod techies started the process of wiring her up for the on coming night shift. As she synced into the endless flow of militia and intel channels, she checked to see what was reported and who was ready to roll out.

Eran, her usual FC since Predator Elite had abandoned militia to fight in the lawless lands of null sec hadn't made it to Houla yet.

Oh well, she'd make due until Eran's arrival.

As the pod was sealed, she felt her consciousness expanding, awareness amplifying as she floated in the shimmering fluid that entombed her body within the capsule.

A sense of anticipation coursed through her, an eagerness to fly. With Huola hot already, she knew it was going to be a long night of fighting.

Randomly she was invited to a fleet by a stranger, an Amarr militia pilot who was in local and already engaging the enemy.

She decided to give the unknown FC a chance and joined the fleet.

She initiated militia comms and Almity joined her.

"You get that fleet invite?" Shalee asked.

"...yeah. You joined?" Alm asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, why not. I'm ready to head out." She replied as she shipped into a hurricane.

They both frowned when they realized their FC wouldn't even be on comms with them.

"Oh. Well this is going to be interesting."

"And foolish. But what the hell."

As they were preparing to undock, Eran Mintor popped up in local.

"Oh thank God," they both replied in unison over comms.

Eran commandeered the fleet and within minutes they were out on the field.

The remainder of the night was spent fighting long range against the enemy fleet as they assaulted a POS in Houla.

Though they were unable to take down the enemy caps that were on field, they did manage to disrupt the operation and kill a few support ships in the process.

Later, after she'd docked up for the night and dismissed her crew, she stood beneath the showers longer than usual.

Her thoughts raced as she let the hot water spray across her back. Her reverie was broken by a too familiar voice.

"You need to be careful."

She turned suddenly and yanked the towel hanging across the back of the shower stall, wrapping it around her quickly as she said, "What are you doing in here? This is a private area. And I'm naked." Her face flashed with annoyance.

Kathetel smirked, "Calm down." He turned his back to her, giving her privacy. "I came here to warn you about your little friendship with Tiger. It's catching the attention of too many people."

"So what? I'm not allowed to speak to whomever I want now? Is that what you're going to tell me?" she asked as she made her way to the lockers, yanking hers open to grab a clean uniform.

He followed in pursuit. "How are you still so naive? Why are you so gullible?"

"Fuck off. I'm not in the mood." She slammed the locker closed and waited for him to turn his back to her before she started to dress. "Anyhow, we are just friends. I think he is interesting. He has interesting stories. He amuses me. That's it."

"He is a cold blooded killer. He has fought against the Empire for years, plotted against it. He was one of Revan's top associates, but you know that already. So how many people have to warn you before you decide to listen to reason? He is a dangerous man, Shalee."

"I know. But what is the harm of talking on comms with him?" she asked as he turned to face her.

"I wouldn't be here if it were just that. But you're accepting gifts from him. Very expensive gifts. Men don't buy Navy Geddons and Abaddons for girls they want to be 'just friends' with." He curled his fingers, making air quotes. "Plus the flowers? He wants something from you and he's seducing you to get it buy buying you things. He's even told you himself he is dangerous."

"Are you monitoring my mail?" She asked as she trailed her fingers through her damp raven hair.

"Of course."

She sighed her frustration. "Is it not enough that I devote my entire career to the Empire? Am I allowed no privacy in my personal time?"

"Your personal time still belongs to the Empire. Leave him alone Shalee, I'm warning you. I have a really bad feeling that he could be your downfall."

She lifted her chin, her blue eyes blazing, "Don't threaten me, Kathetel. I know my duties."

"Then act like it. Think of others for once. Think about the harm he could bring not only to yourself but the entire Knighthood, hell, even the entire militia if he had the inkling to do so. Don't get involved with him."

"I'm not!" She stomped her foot impatiently.

"Good." He smirked to her as he turned to leave. "Oh and Shalee? Enough with the Minmatar ships already, it's rather vulgar."

Entry 134: Amarrian Doubts

2011-05-17T17:59:00.003-04:00

Kourmonen Star System
Ishukone Station

The camera drone beeped and a tiny series of lights flickered as it began to record. It hovered near the raven haired girl as she sat on a walkway in her personal hangar. Her legs dangled off the side, arms propped up on the lower railing.

She glanced down at the floor below, watching the thousands of crew members as they finished up their shift, readying themselves to vacate the place until further notice.

The atmoshpere was somber, a heaviness hung overhead, a smothering blanket of collective emotion. She darted her tongue out and licked her lips, almost tasting the weariness on the air.

Over twelve thousand crew member losses in a forty eight hour period. Two abaddons, two hurricanes, and one harbinger down in a flame of glory.

"Glory for who?" she scoffed, muttering under her breath.

There was no glory in dying. Sometimes it was too easy to fight against the odds, never considering the countless crew members lives she was risking when she recklessly engaged.

"But I almost made it the second time," she thought. "Almost. Goddamned Zenton Karvash. "

The fleet was suffering heavy losses in the battle on the Houla gate in Kourmonen. Orders were given to disengage and get the fuck off the field if at all possible. Of course she was tackled, it was one of their favorite tactics. Her only hope was to approach the gate and jump through as soon as her aggression wore off.

Every second seemed like an eternity stretched out in front of her. Her body tensed as she waited, nervously counting down the seconds, hoping that she'd make it through.

Red rolled across the display as her shields were penetrated. Armor was breached, chunks of tungsten peeled away, littering the sky around her. Sirens blazed and all she could do was wait, pray, and hope to jump.

Powerless to do anything else, she continued her approach, drifting with no cap, no systems online. Everything was dark save for the HUD lighting up as the structure was ripped into. The abaddon shook with every assault. 90%. A second later, 50%.

Suddenly everything lit up with a swirl of watery blue as the battle ship jumped.

She exhaled a breath of relief.

"So lucky! You almost-" Adde said over comms, "Wait, Zenton is there."

The grid finally loaded and she saw him, not even 12 klicks from her, Zenton Karvash.

Don't do this, I can't fight back. Don't.

It was an impossible situation. She couldn't jump back through, she'd never make it to the gate in time, and even if she did certain death waited on the other side.

Hoping to be spared was pointless. He finished her off in the matter of seconds.

Six thousand dead littered the sky as she warped away.

The fighting raged on, and within hours she lost two more ships.

She hadn't suffered that kind of losses in months.

Later, Bahamut, CEO of the Minmatar Militia corporation, IFW, contracted her a hurricane with a message that there'd be more if she would defect.

Strangely she was charmed by the gesture.

She couldn't help but let her thoughts drift to -what if-. What if she defected? What if she suddenly left Amarr and fought for the other side. How would it feel to join IFW?

She'd flown with them before, a couple of times in joint fleets under Predator's command against pirates. And once or twice she'd joined them on her own to fly in null sec to hunt without anyone ever knowing.

They were an easy bunch and she liked them. Well, all except Zenton. He could die in a fiery explosion for all she cared.

She tried to imagine the look on Laerise's face as she flashed with the TLF star on her overview.

Giggling, she let the fantasy play out. She'd want to kill her in a thrasher, somehow it seemed fitting.

Reality nagged at the edges of her thoughts, forcing her to stop thinking about it. It was no use, she simply couldn't fight against the rest of the Amarr Militia. She tried to imagine killing those she flew with frequently; Eran, Saint, Aldrith, Koltus, Nortel, Vadeim, Avalanche, Almity, Ryven, and Maz3r. It was just impossible.

The camera drone chirped, rousing her out of her reverie. She looked to the floor and noticed the place was empty save for a couple of tech's who were on their way out.

"Open secure file." she commanded as she stood up. The camera drone followed her as she started to walk the catwalk, gazing down at her small fleet of vessels on standby. "Record."

"Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if Eran would have tried to convince me to turn to the Minmatar side when I first met him. He never really tried, it was always me pushing him to come to Amarr."

"Finally he did, and now our militia is all the better for it. I can't even imagine what things would be like without him here. He leads armies, sometimes for the 'glory' of Amarr. And sometimes simply because I ask, because I have this restless need to be out on the field."

"I was so strong in my conviction back then, so sure that I was doing the right thing, fighting for the right side. And it's strange to think that back then, I was hardly worth more than a drone out on the field. I had no skills, no experience, no one really knew me, and yet I had this passion, this unwavering loyalty for Amarr. My conviction alone forced Eran to turn and others to defect."

As she paced, the drone panned out, recording the entire hangar in a panorama view. "And now? Over a year later and I am a viable part of any fleet. I have the experience, the skills, and an insatiable lust for battle. I have gained trust from fellow militia pilots. I can rally a fleet and soon will lead them."

"And yet...the stronger I grow, the more I doubt," she admitted as her blue gaze slanted upwards, lingering on the Amarrian banner that hung from the ceiling.

"Save file. End recording."

OOC

2011-05-11T12:17:00.002-04:00

Read This.

Entry 133: A Father's Fate

2011-05-04T14:03:00.003-04:00

She was dreaming.

"Stop. Wait." Shalee called out as she ran, chasing a wisp of a girl with long strands of red hair hanging to her waist.

She followed the child down a long corridor that seemed to stretch on for miles. Each step seemed to put more distance between them.

"You have to run faster!" The child urged as Shalee followed in pursuit.

The little girl turned her head to yell at her, "Hurry!"

Some part of her wanted to protest. "No...don't make me go there."

"Hurry!" she yelled, "You have to remember!"

The corridor morphed into the foyer of her brother's house. An enormous crystal chandelier hung, reflecting shards of light into the smothering darkness.

"Shalee!"

Someone was crying though it seemed very far away. She glanced around, searching for the source.

Her fingers curled around the staircase railing as she looked into the shadows, "Who's there?"

"Are you going somewhere?" Her Father approached the staircase.

"...I'm leaving this place."

"Where will you go?" He asked as he took a few steps up to meet her.

"Home," she said resolutely.

"This is your home." He replied calmly, smiling to her.

"This place is nothing to me." Her voice was eerily calm despite her trembling, despite the fear he ignited within her. "You are nothing to me."

"I am your Father." He said patiently.

"You are a monster! All my life you have used me as a pawn in whatever game held your interest at the time. I am done with it. I am done with you."

"You should not say such things. Listen to you, disobeying your papa. You've been away too long, you have changed." He stepped closer, "But don't worry, I'll change you back." He stretched his hand out to her face, grazing the back of his fingers across her cheek. "My sweet little girl. So like your Mother."

"You killed her!" she accused.

"She was disobedient," he explained in a soft voice, addressing her as if she were a child. "You have no idea the things she was capable of, Shalee."

"You have no idea what I am capable of, 'papa'..." she warned, her tone full of fury.

Anger flashed across his face as he backhanded her, leaving a mark across her cheek. "Do not use that tone with me. You will apologize."

She cupped her stinging cheek, "I hate you. I hate everything you've done, everything you are. You're nothing but a liar. Your whole existence is based on what you've created in your mind papa! You are nothing."

He slapped her again, this time hard enough to send her to her knees. "I am still your Father," he said through clinched teeth.

Blue eyes blazed with fury, "She didn't want you to be my Father, she was going to leave you! She would have been another man's wife, I'd be another man's daughter, I wouldn't even have remembered you," she taunted, crouched on the steps, her pale blue gaze locked on his.

His hand darted out and wrapped around her throat, fingers digging into the soft flesh. "She was mine, she died belonging to me and so help me God you will suffer the same fate if I can't beat this disobedience out of you."

She gasped, choking for air as she frailed her hands at him, trying to push his hand away. "Stop."

"I'm...leaving..." she choked out the words.

"I'll kill you first." He loosened his grip slightly as he forced her to her feet, shoving her against the wall. His face twisted with evil. "No. I wont kill you first, that'd be too easy, you care nothing for your life."

She dropped her head back, hitting it against the marbled wall, gasping, feeling dizzy.

"And I wont bother with killing any capsuleer you know either. They'll just clone." His voice was whispery soft against her ear, "I'll kill that son-of-a-bitch Aldrith's bastard. You think I don't know he is married now? Expecting a child? He doesn't deserve his happiness, he doesn't deserve a child, to be a Father, a husband, when he stole that from me."

Her eyes widened with terror, "No..."

"It will be too easy, to have Mitara kidnapped. To bleed her out, sacrifice her unborn. Make him suffer. Make them all suffer for the sins they have committed against MY family."

The next few seconds were a blur. Instinctively she grabbed at the silver handled dagger that he wore at his side, a blooder weapon disguised as a Ni Kunni ceremonial piece.

Her fingers grasped around it and with all of the strength she could muster she forced it into his stomach.

Shock froze across his face as he realized what she'd done.

"Bitch..." He gurgled the word out as he inhaled a sharp breath.

She yanked the blade up his torso as she felt his blood spilling out onto her fingers, wetting her wrists.

He opened his mouth to speak again but he'd lost his breath. His eyes flashed with a mixture of emotion; rage, anger, and hatred. Betrayal.

She sucked in her breath as she watched the life drain out of his eyes, felt the blood seeping from his body. He slumped against her and slid down to the bottom step.

Her hands started to tremble as she looked down at them.

"Papa." she whispered as she looked to his corpse, moving down the steps to kneel beside him, her silk dress soaking up the pool of blood that oozed from his torso.

"You shouldn't have made me do that. You shouldn't have...I wasn't going to kill you, I was going to leave! They wanted to make me kill you but I couldn't! I thought you changed! I thought you changed, oh god." She sobbed against his chest as hysteria set in.

She curled her fingers around the dagger and yanked it from his wound.

Sometime later Eran and Karmilla had found her in the foyer drenched in the blood, the scene something straight from a horror movie.

What was left of her Father was scattered about the room with ritual symbols smeared in blood across the walls.

"Shalee...what have you done?"

She turned her head, her gaze unblinking as she stared just beyond Eran's shoulder, "He made me do it. He made me do it."

Eran approached her and pulled the bloodied dagger from her hands, dropping it to the floor as he scooped her up into his arms, "Hush. Shhhh. It's alright, everything is alright."

She buried her face against his shoulder, sobbing as he instructed Karmilla, "We have to get her out of here. Now."

"We can't leave this place like this.." Karmilla said as she looked around the foyer again.

"We don't have time. Torch it. Let it burn. Let every god damned thing in this house burn."

Shalee woke suddenly, jolting straight up in the bed. Her head was pounding and tears streaked her face where she'd been crying in her sleep.

Beside the bed the hologram of a small, redheaded child stared at her. "You had to remember. You had to remember Karmilla and what she did for you. Try to remember it, don't block it away again. She cares about you okay?" the little girl urged.

Shalee's head throbbed and her nose started to drip blood, "Who are you?"

"You already know, Shalee. You know. I am you," the hologram said just before she faded away.

Entry 132: The Contact

2011-04-29T12:22:00.004-04:00

The Gallente quirked a brow as she slid an envelope across the desk filled with ISK.

"That should cover the resettlement of this last group," Shalee said as she settled back in her chair, lighting up a cigarette.

"You are generous." Blume smiled, showing off a row of crooked teeth.

The pair had met when she joined the Amity Project the previous year, on organization that helped relocate newly freed slaves deep into the heart of the Federation. Mostly the organization was legal, buying slaves off the markets. Slavers usually didn't care where there stock ended up as long as they were paid.

And sometimes they took it one step further by doing raids, rescuing slaves while they were being transported into Amarr space. It was dangerous, illegal, and could land her in a world of trouble if anyone ever found out, but she usually took the risk.

She shrugged as she blew out a mouthful of smoke, "Just doing my part. Anyhow I can acquire it easily enough."

"But still," he said as he started to tally the amount she'd given, entering it into the database under her alias, Red Angel. "This is more than enough."

"Then use it elsewhere."

"As you wish."

"Also, I've another deposit to make, but this isn't from me."

His brow quirked again, "Yeah? And who is our generous benefactor this time?"

"It's from the one who helped me free them. A capsuleer." She settled back in her chair, "A Minmatar Militia capsuleer."

"Oh. Another one, huh," he said, thinking of Kuan.

"His call sign is SilenceIKillYou." She grinned.

"Ah, right, I think I've heard of him."

"He helped us once before, in Auga, when the system was under lockdown and we were in Industrials. We were stuck, pretty much. There was already heavy fighting on the gates back home, and the rest were camped by pirates. It was like they knew we were coming.."

"You think we have a spy or something?" He asked, suddenly worried.

"In the organization? No, probably not. Auga is where most of the Minmatar Militia base, and next door in Amamake is where the pirates live. It was a risky move on our part anyhow. Our scouts reported the way clear but by the time we were able to make it in, the situation changed. Fleets were rolling out, etc. It happens."

"Ah okay. You had me worried. So. Your new patron..." He tapped his fingers against the desk, "Needs an alias. Any ideas?

"Crazyheart," she said as she gave him another envelope with unmarked ISK, "Because he is both crazy in the sky but has a heart of gold."

"Crazyheart it is," he said as he counted the ISK then entered it into the database under the new alias.

"Oh...so I have a new recruit, maybe." She handed him her datapad with the Imperial profile of Alexander Audaci.

"A Crownie?" Something he called the Knighthood pilots.

"Yeah. Do a background check first. He flew with 1PG and you know what kind of zealots they are. He disappeared for a few months and now all of a sudden he is back, and in our corp."

"Suspicious?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I want to trust him...I think I can. But. Well. It's hard to trust anyone in this line of work, right?"

"Yeah. No kidding. You don't know how many times we tested you before you got a real job."

"What?" She feigned outrage.

He laughed, "No offense. But here you were, a Crownie waltzing in off the spacelanes with kill board stats that made us believe you were some kind of plant. I mean really who flies with the militia, fights as hard as you do to preserve the Empire but in secret you're out freeing slaves. With Holder blood I might add. You're a walking contradiction."

"I still believe in God and Empire, Blume. I do. I just think it can be better. And it wont get better until people work to make it so."

"Yeah yeah, I've heard your spill before kid. 'Fighting not for what the Empire is, but what it can be'." He quoted her with a soft chuckle.

She grinned affectionately.

"So. Audaci. I'll run him through the system, see what we can come up with. If he checks out, maybe you can take him along on your next raid."

"Yeah okay."

"And what about Raphael?" he inquired.

"What about him?" she asked.

"He still snooping around?"

She shrugged. "Something is up with him...just don't know exactly what. I do think if he had half a chance he'd be the first to tie me to a pyre and watch me burn."

"...but weren't you engaged to him once?"

"A long time ago, yeah. But he's different now. He's changed. I guess we all have." She stood up and tipped her finger to her brow, giving him an informal salute. "I'll be in touch."

"Take care out there."

"Always."

Entry 131: Kathetel Returns

2011-04-28T03:37:00.002-04:00

Moonlight fell through the windows, casting a soft glow across the room. A fire burned in the fireplace, occasionally crackling.

The door creaked open then closed quickly, followed by the sound of the lock clicking into place.

She continued to brush her hair as she waited for the intruder to reveal himself.

Kathetel stepped out of the shadows, coming up behind her. He smirked as he looked towards the mirror she sat in front of, his gaze meeting hers.

"And so we meet again."

"I had almost forgotten about you," she said airily. She hadn't seen the Imperial Agent since he'd met with her at the Opera.

"Tsk. I am almost offended. Almost."

"Why are you here?" she asked, dreading a new assignment. Anytime Kathetel came around it meant trouble in some form or fashion for her.

"Oh, you know. Checking up on you, and all of that. How are you?"

"Fine." she said, looking at him skeptically.

"And your last assignment? I trust it is completed?" He asked though he already knew the answer.

Her blue gaze locked on his, "...yes."

He took the brush from her hand and stroked it through her auburn hair slowly, "We knew we could count on you."

"Anything for the Empire," she said in a soft tone, trying not to remember the details, forcing herself to keep it locked deep away.

"Shalee..."

"Yes?"

"For what it's worth, I am sorry that it had to be by your hand...but you were the only one who could get close enough."

"Don't be. He deserved it. He deserved his fate," she said softly, her gaze breaking from his.

He laid the brush onto the gilded table in front of her, "It's been many weeks, how are you holding up?"

"Are you asking if I'm haunted by it?"

"I remember ...when you killed your brother. You were..." he said.

"Out of my mind?"

"Something like that, yes."

"I'm fine. He's not the first person to die by my hand, Kathetel."

"No, but he is your Father."

"Was."

"Yes. Was. Did you ever love him?"

"Once upon a time he was my whole world. He was greater than God in my eyes. He was...." A tear slid down her cheek as her body tensed. "He was a liar. A murderer. He killed my Mother."

His brow arched, "I didn't know."

She nodded very slowly as her thoughts drifted to the past, "She was so young, so beautiful. When he married her, he was already a widow with three sons. But he wanted her, despite her being Ni Kunni."

"Do you think he ever loved her?" he asked.

"Yes, in his own fucked up way. Or maybe it wasn't love. Maybe it was obsession. He wanted to possess her. She was only seventeen when they married. And she was twenty four when he killed her."

"Why do you think he did it if he loved her so much?"

"Because she didn't love him any longer, if she ever did. She must have known what he really was, I can only guess. I'm trying to piece together those years of her life, but I was so young. However, I do remember when I was betrothed to Charles... I was only six...but there was a grand house party to announce it." Her voice faded away as her brows furrowed. "I..."

"Go on," he urged.

She stared into the mirror, remembering. "I only vaguely remember it, I was so young. But...I remember how beautiful she was that weekend, how her face seemed to glow. She was so happy. I later found out exactly why."

"Why?"

"Because she met a young poet at the ball who swept her off her feet. He was barely eighteen at the time, or so. They must have fell in love and ...the natural course of events happened after that. I guess he never knew that he got her pregnant."

"Pregnant? What happened to her child?"

"My Father found some letters that the poet wrote to her...and...he was beyond furious. Her betrayal would shame him, shame the family. But I think it was also the fact that he lost control of her. She was going to leave him."

"How do you know all of this?" he asked.

"I found some of their letters, her journal, and my eldest step-brother filled in the rest."

Kathetel nodded, "So your Father murdered your mother in a jealous rage? And her unborn child?"

She whispered, "Yes."

"And the poet? Did you ever find out who he was?"

"...yes."

"Are you going to enlighten me?"

"It's my CEO. It's Aldrith..." She exhaled a soft breath, "Aldrith was my mother's true love, and she died because of it."

Entry 130: Kuvakeian Dreams

2011-04-10T00:43:00.002-04:00

System: Lantorn
Constellation: Hed
Region: Heimatar
Security: 0.3

She was floating, suspended in a pod of ambotic fluid as she slept, safely docked up in the Expert Distribution station in Lantorn, still inside the ship she'd been fighting in the previous night.

It had been such a long, tiresome night that she couldn't even muster up the energy to fly back to Huola, the Amarr Militia home system, despite it only being a few jumps away.

Streams of data and intel flowed like a river across her subconscious mind as she had drifted off to sleep, too tired to even disconnect from her pod.

Floating...

Drifting...

Dreaming...

The familiar voices of militia and corp members melded together, joining the not-so-familiar ones, lost in the current of data. The constant chatter comforted her while she slept.

In the liquid flow of voices, one whispered to her.

"Do not be afraid. We are coming for you. I am coming for you."

Something inside her protested. I am dreaming.

"Follow me, children of New Eden, my chosen ones."

I...am...dreaming...not real...

"It is your time, your destiny. Do not fight it. Surrender yourselves so that you may be saved. Follow me..."

...dreaming.

A jarring, discordance of sound interrupted the soothing flow, forcing her awake. Klaxon alarms rang through the station, filling the corridors and docking bays, filtering through the station's comm channels. A constant, restless ringing. She recognized that alarm and knew that it could only mean one thing.

The Sansha had come. Attack imminent. The incursion was underway.

Sudden awareness unnerved her as she fully awoke, listening to the intel as it started to pour in.

System after system under attack, the entire Hed constellation.

A feeling of dread settled into the pit of her stomach as she thought of all the lives that were being stolen away in that moment.

"Shalee?" Eran commed her.

"Yes?"

"Where are you?" he asked.

"Lantorn..."

"Fuck. I thought so. I'm coming okay? You need eyes, you'll never make it through the gates alone, they have quick tackle on most of them. I'll scout you back to Huola."

"Alright. I'll give it five then undock. The system is mostly quiet, though I doubt that it will be for long." She hesitated a second. "Eran?"

"Yeah?"

"Be safe, okay?"

"Yeah. See you soon."

Minutes later she undocked and waited for Eran as local started to swell. The capsuleers were out in full force, ready to retaliate against Kuvakei's army.

A new channel for Hed opened up, combining enemies and allies alike.

Lukka must have noticed her presence in the channel and initiated private comms with her. She accepted as she checked her d-scan, waiting for the go ahead to warp out. Lukka lived in Amamake along with the rest of the Heretic Army clan.

It occurred to her that Amamake was in the Hed constellation and was probably under Sansha attack as well.

"Yeah Lukka?"

"So...you think I'd be welcome in Huola were I to take a sudden vacation?"

More OOC

2011-03-07T22:34:00.001-05:00

New OOC blog here.

OOC

2011-02-17T15:40:00.002-05:00

My blog is officially an EVE fan site. How awesome is that? Thanks to Kuan Yida for recommending that I submit it.

Blogs you should read:

Miner Inconveniences
This blog belongs to Raphael, a member of KOTMC and an ex fiance of Shalee.

Captain Raine

This blog belongs to Charles Raine, a member of KOTMC and the ex husband of Shalee. (arranged marriage, they since had it annulled). Charles is new to EVE and wants followers so go follow/read her blog!!

And, this link will take you to something I'll be posting on from time to time. It is Red's logs.

Also, I'll be opening my OOC blog up in the next day or two. Check the side bar of this blog for it.

Thanks everyone for reading! ♥

Entry 129: Saying Goodbye

2011-02-16T20:32:00.003-05:00

Mercy's Keep Security Files
Location: Exterior
Date: 2.14.113
Time: 7:02

He had asked her for a private word, and the pair had stepped outside the Keep. Around them tiny snow flakes fell upon the slight breeze, twirling around them. It was dark out save for the firelight flickering in the the braziers that lined the path. She pulled on her gloves as she turned her gaze to him, "Is everything alright, Pred?"

Predator Elite paused and rubbed his hands together as if to ward off the cold, "Nothing ever is," he said as he looked to her.

"What's the matter? Tell me?" she asked.

"I...just wanted to let you know that I have dropped roles, and will be gone from militia in less than twenty four hours," he said quietly.

She quickly looked away, starring ahead at the landing pad in the distance. She had heard the rumors but hadn't believed them because she hadn't heard it from him. Apparently the time had come. A chill of unease settled upon her and for the moment she thought she'd be sick. "I see....who are you taking with you?"

"No one...why? Do you want to come?" he said hopefully, searching her face.

"You know I cannot leave..." she said heavily.

"Then why did you ask?" He frowned ever so slightly.

"I was just wondering if you were taking anyone with you."

"No... I feel that I have to move on," he confessed.

She nodded, "We do what me must do. If you have to go...then go."

"Alright. So... no hard feelings?" he asked hopefully.

Shalee shrugged, saying nothing.

"If something is wrong, tell me."

"Why?" She started to walk away, kicking her way through the snow.

"Because I care," he admitted.

"About what? What do you care about, really?" she asked, feeling as if her heart was shattering into a thousand tiny pieces.

"I care about living my life."

"Fine. Go live your life," she said in a chilly tone.

"What do you think I'm trying to do? Hell I can't even stay in one spot more than six months," he said with a hint of frustration.

"You've been in militia for longer than that..." she said as she turned around, standing a few feet away from him.

"Because I liked the people here and what we did ... but no more." he conceded.

She tensed ever so slightly. "Yeah. Okay."

"What do you want me to say?" he asked.

"Nothing at all. You've already said everything you needed to, right," she retorted.

"I'm not trying to say anything I'm just trying to make sure everyone is okay with me leaving."

"You know I am not but what can I do? What can I say? You're going to leave anyhow." she declared.

"Why aren't you alright with me leaving?" he asked, searching her eyes, as if waiting for her to say something important, something meaningful.

"Because I don't want you to go. We need you. I need you," she insisted.

He closed the space between them, "You don't need me. You are fine and strong without me," he said tentatively.

"But I'm not," she argued.

"I dont define you, I dont make you stronger or weaker," he tried to reason with her.

"But you do. You know you do," she continued to argue.

He put his hands on her arms, staring intently at her. "You have to look at what you have been through, those choices make you stronger or weaker. If you feel that I make you stronger you are just making your self weaker."

"But you make the militia stronger."

He chuckled, "Did you not see what happened tonight?"

"I see that you tried desperately to save Arzad."

He stared at her.

"I see that you risked, and lost one of your most expensive ships for the cause. I see that pilots followed you into a losing battle because they believe in you," she argued passionately as if willing him to understand.

"You are sweet to say that but I know myself that it was wrong and I'm paying for it now, might be better just to ride this one out."

She sighed. "And so just like that you leave. I hope it makes you happy."

"I have made too many mistakes and certain people aren't letting that go. By me staying here and in this militia, it wont help. It will only make matters worse, Shalee." He smiled softly, "I'm just trying to make things right."

"Do you honestly believe that? Because I don't. And I know there are many, many who do not believe that either."

He shrugged.

"Do you think you'll be happier?"

"I don't think I could be happier then when I'm talking to you," he whispered.

She leaned her head against his chest, "I'll miss you."

He pulled his arms around her, "I'll be missing you too." He held for a long while before letting her go, saying nothing as he walked off towards the landing pad.

"You could have stopped him."

Shalee turned around quickly at the sound of the soft spoken voice. A child's voice?

"You could have made him stay, you should have! He wanted you to say you loved him. He wanted you to make him stay, to give him a reason to stay."

"Who's there?" she called out in the darkness as her head throbbed. She rubbed her temples, feeling emotionally drained and physically sick.

"You know who I am," the child said as she appeared before Shalee out of no where, wearing a long red velvet gown, her hair a mass of curls. "You know everything you just don't want to think about it. And you know that you should stop him! Don't let him leave!"

"I can't stop him...he's going to do what he wants to."

"He wants you."

"He..."

"He loves you, you know he does. But he doesn't love the Empire like you do, he doesn't fight for it like you do...but he could. If you asked him to. You could make him believe in it like you did Eran! All you have to do is try!"

"I can't do that! I can't make someone believe in something they don't!"

"But you made Eran!"

"Stop..." She blinked several times as everything went blurry. The snowflakes bled into long strings of white light. Her nose started to drip blood. She wiped her gloved hand across her face as she stumbled, falling to the ground.

The child's voice faded as everything went dark.

***

Mercy's Keep Security Files
Location: Medical Bay
Date: 2.14.113
Time: 10:03

"Commodore Lianne?"

"Yes?" she blinked several times as her vision adjusted to the harsh white artifical light inside the med bay. "Jonathan?"

He nodded, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay...I think. I just..." Her brows scrunched up as she looked at him, remembering. "I fell?"

He nodded again. "I was called in a few hours ago. You've been asleep. I think you'll be fine, we just need to do a few adjustments with your implants."

"I saw her. Again."

"The little girl? The one from Eytjangard?" he asked.

She nodded, "Am I losing my mind?"

He sat down on the edge of the bed, "No. It's just the way you deal with problems. The mind is a remarkable thing you know. People often work out problems in their dreams, it's a natural thing to do."

"But most people don't turn themselves into child like holograms while they sleep and visit other people."

"True enough. I've never heard of such a thing happening, but it is fascinating all the same. To stop yourself from having nightmares, your mind has worked out a way to let you 'stay awake' in a sense. It keeps busy, engaged, so that deep dreaming never occurs."

"Why don't I ever remember doing these things?" she asked in a tired voice.

"You're not ready to remember. 'Red' typically ends up seeking out people that you're upset with. She tries to fix your problems, so to speak. She is ahead of the game in that way. You on the other hand, are not ready to make ammends or accept certain truths."

"Do you see her often?" Shalee asked, feeling strange to be talking about herself as if she were another person.

He nodded, "Quite."

"Is there any way I can control it?" she questioned.

"I haven't the foggiest idea, to be honest. Since I've been tracking her I-"

She interrupted him mid sentence, "How do you track her?"

"I follow your digital footprint so to speak. Sometimes she ends up in virtual world, but most often she uses the holodrones. I've kept a log of which she accesses."

"Oh."

"Like I said, it's quite fascinating. The people she interacts with, they all seem to know it's you- or some younger part of you, but seem reluctant to talk about it with you. Until Eran told you, I think it was probably one of the most well kept secrets in the Empire."

"I wonder why people wanted to keep it from me..."

"I would gather it's because ..." he paused thoughtfully, "because they wouldn't want you to 'fix' it. Talking with 'Red' is an easier way to connect with you, to find out what is going on, what upsets you....to find out your secrets. She has quite a little mouth on her, you know."

"Is there anything I can do to stop it from happening?"

"Nothing that I know of. The implants allow you the technology to access virtual world and holodrones...so unless you're willing to give up your life as a capsuleer...you'll have to live with this 'side affect'."

Entry 128: Imperial Traitors

2011-02-13T18:51:00.003-05:00

"Oh god, I was just going to teach him a lesson....not fucking murder him!" Shalee screamed hysterically as she looked to the blood splattered across the dungeon cell wall.

In the center of the room hung the limp corpse of Adde Helecton, former Amarrian Militia pilot who had turned traitor over the past few months.

He had shown up at the Keep earlier, speaking of wanting redemption, saying that he was sorry. She didn't believe him, thinking he was there to make a mockery of the Knighthood and her beloved militia.

It was the last straw.

In an act that showed little mercy, she had the guards arrest him and drag him down to the dungeons below the Keep, a place seldom used, if ever. Eran followed her, ready to help. A few other Knights followed as well, some protesting, others urging her on.

She had Adde chained by the wrists, arms suspended above his head and asked him if he would consent to lashes. She told him he needed to suffer, needed to feel pain, to carry the marks of what he had done physically.

He had agreed.

Minutes later, Invelious had entered into the cell. She and Eran got into an argument with him over Adde's capture and before she could order his removal, he pulled a gun to Adde's temple and pulled the trigger.

"It's not murder," he said as he calmly put away the weapon. You can't really murder one of us now can you?" He pointed to Aldrith. "It was also protection, for us. The political spin on this would be immense. At least this way Adde wont remember shit."

Aldrith Shutaq agreed, "Yeah, how do you think it would have looked if he went crying to the IGS with a bunch of lash marks screaming,'The Knights did it!'"

"He asked for it," she said quietly.

"Exactly," Invelious countered.

"Ever stop to wonder why?" Aldrith said.

"To repent."

"No. To entrap. The only redemption is on the battlefield." Invelious said. "Eran is proof of that."

"Yep. He'd have to fight for us again." Aldrith agreed.

Shalee pulled her cloak off and laid it on the floor. "Whatever. Just help me get him to the incinerator." As gently as possible, she undid the handcuffs, guiding the body as it fell.

"How did you get the gun by security?" Aldrith asked as he leaned a bit to look at the splatter mark on the wall, looking slightly impressed.

Invelious watched him, "Years of service with the Ministy of Interal Order will teach you a thing or two about weapons concealment."

"Noted. Don't do that again though, nearly wet myself. And I was going to stop it myself, by the way." Aldrith said.

"I wont, and I promise," Invelious said.

She wrapped him up as best she could then grabbed his feet, leaving Invel to carry the head...or what was left of it. They moved down the corridor towards the end and tossed him into the flames.

"Sillyness... Shalee and Eran have so much pent up anger is ridiculous. Acting like anmials... really," Aldrith muttered as he watched Invelious and Shalee dragging the body away.

After they disposed of the body, Invelious left, leaving Shalee to clean the cell. She hosed it down with icy cold water, watching the water turn red from blood. Bits of brains hung up on the drain, clogging it. She shoved them down with the toe of her boot.

"I'm really getting way too used to this..." Aldrith said as he watched her from the cell's entrance. He gave her a judgmental glance, then sighed. "Hope you're proud of yourself. I honestly think you just wanted to whip someone. But hey... I've been there."

"He asked for it. I wouldn't have killed him, but he needed to be taught a lesson. We are far too easy on traitors." She towelled off her freezing cold hands.

"Doesn't matter. Torture is torture," he countered.

"Yes and murder is murder and betraying is betraying." she said with annoyance as she tossed the towel to the side, her ice blue gaze scanning across the holding cell critically.

Aldrith said, "A traitor can only teach himself. Especially a capsuleer one. What did you expect was going to happen? You make his back bleed and he suddenly understands everything he's done wrong? If only it worked like that..."

"No but he would feel the pain. He would carry with him the memory of what he'd done. But whatever, it doesn't matter now."

"He'd probably have just stuck another knife in our backs and called us all cruel, evil bastards. Have you ever been tortured, Shalee?"

She flicked her gaze to him, her expression cold, saying nothing.

Aldrith smiled a little at Shalee's look. "If you have, you'll know what you mean when I say it's very hard to forgive one's tormentor, no matter who they are or if you have consented or not. The very fact that person is even capable of torture makes them irredeemably evil in the sufferer's eyes. Like Vincent. Like Reimei. And like Verone."

"You're not one to preach to me. You are capable of much evil too," she said with a hint of defiance.

He laughed, "So is everyone else, you know. Point is not to fall to it. I've been trying. We all should be trying. Since the whole Amaterasu ordeal I think I've been doing a fairly decent job. I've only bopped Verone in the head once and I accidentally got Vincent shot."

Shalee threw her hands up in the air and sighed, "Why didn't you kill him? When he came here you should have killed him...I wanted you to," she said in a hushed whisper.

He gave her a droll look. "But I didn't want to."

She frowned deeply. "You should have."

"Even the devil has his purpose. Verone needs to be resisted in spirit, and that's what I tried to do that night. Damn... I nearly shook that evil shit's hand. Ew."

Shalee sighed again, seemingly having lost the mood to talk about him. "I don't care."

He glanced at the bullet hole in the wall. "This world really is confusing sometimes. Who to punish.... who to forgive... who to hate... who to love..."

She nodded, "Yeah. Everything is confusing."

"It all seems rather stupid in the end though, knowing we could have peaceful lives if we just gave up on this pod idiocy and disappeared to some nice planet with a warm sun and lots of trees..." He smirked. "You know Mitara is getting us a bloody mansion on Oris to 'retire' to."

"You're retiring?"

"No not yet. I sure as hell want to sometimes though. And once it's all too much, I'm sure I will. This is not a happy life, Shalee. I don't think God ever meant for humans to have as much power as we do."

"Of course he didn't," she agreed.

"All this power and none of the responsibility... it creates devils like Verone out of people such as us."

"We have too much power and theres no repercussion for evil." She looked at him intently, "That's why I think we should take matters into our own hands..."

"Shalee, the idea you had to punish evil here, tonight, in these holding cells would have required you to become evil yourself. People are not redeemed through suffering unless they bring it on themselves. Hence why I wanted that Adde child to do it himself."

"It was to teach him a lesson."

"He would have taught himself the lesson if he was really repentant. I've done it, actually...back in the Ordo I did some... questionable things. I used that flail almost every week..."

She shrugged, "I've done it too."

"Then you understand."

"If you say."

"What then, you whipped yourself for fun then? Or were you just going through the motions or something?"

"Of course I meant it, Aldrith."

"Well there you are. So, I have another question. When you were about to whip that traitor... are you sure you didn't want to whip yourself?"

"Of course I didn't."

"Are you certain? You are not burdened by any guilt at all? Or anger?" he asked.

She shook her head, "No I don't feel any guilt." Glancing towards the incinerator, she whispered, "Anger, maybe."

He nodded slowly, "Yes, and you have good right to... but that is not something you should bring with you when you bestow a punishment, otherwise it just becomes simple vengeance."

"Are you finished with your lecture?" she asked impatiently.

He grinned at her impatience, "I need to get podded soon; all of my hairs are turning grey because of you..." he muttered as he ushered her towards the exit, locking up the dungeon behind him.

Mercy's Keep Security Files
Location: Dungeon, Cell 1
Date: 1.19.112

Entry 127: Darkest Days

2011-01-30T03:32:00.007-05:00

"Do you have any news of Yulai?" Commodore Shalee Lianne asked as she entered into the main hall of Mercy's Keep. She'd been out on patrol with militia when they received news of the incursion. By the time they had made it back to their home system, comms were overflowing with intel of Kuvakei and the Sansha.

She decided upon a short break, gather up what intel she could verify and then decide where next to go.

"None, I'm afraid." Karmilla answered as she stood to greet her.

"Last I heard there were over a thousand capsuleers in system." Shalee said as she activated her datapad, the neon blue screen illuminating her face in a soft glow.

"I'm not surprised."

"Surely with that many they were able to stop any abductions. I pray, anyhow."

"Attention pilots." Julianus Soter's form appeared holographically. "Nation is establishing a permanent portal within the Promised Land system, Genesis, Amarr Empire. This portal connects to Stain. The Amarr Empire's conventional forces are being prevented from interrupting this effort."

"Oh god..."

"The Amarr Empire is becoming a conduit for the arrival of Kuvakei's final assault. That is all." Julianus Soter's hologram switched to standby mode.

"It appears my dinner will have to wait." Karmilla headed towards the shuttle bay, nodding her head to Shalee, "Commodore."

Major James Silva's hologram flickered to life."James? What can you tell me?" Shalee asked, her expression worried.

"The Nation has the technology to create permanent wormholes it seems," he answered in a heavy voice.

Soter's form animated again, "Two super carriers, a hundred sympathizers in support ships. Kuvakei himself is overseeing the operation. Imperial Fleet Command has been paralyzed."

"What the...." Cold chills snaked down her spine. The Imperial Fleet Command paralyzed? How was that possible?

Soter's holo flickered off as Silva spoke, "In less then eight minutes they created a wormhole from Stain to the Promised Land to Yulai. I'm en route to Yulai currently, but I think my subsystems are damaged. My cloaking system says it's working but when I went to an engagement, I started taking precise laser fire."

"I heard that there were over a thousand pilots in Yulai....were they able to stop the abductions?"

"There were no abductions at Yulai. There were over fifteen hundred pilots in system."

"That's a relief, at least....but this wormhole technology...oh god. How is that even possible?"

"I don't know Shalee, but now we have to deal with this new threat," he said grimly.

Althea Ekran of Moira activated the hologram system. "Nation portal generator established, conduit complete. Next phase of Sansha Operation about to commence." The hologram flickered, "Kuvakei has left..."

Shalee glanced to Althea's holo form, her expression pale and etched with worry. "He left the Promised Land?"

"Kuvakei has published a new transmission." Althea said, activating the recording.

"It is done, my children. We have our path to the Promised Land. Soon, the rest of New Eden will wither under the firepower of my armada, but you, capsuleers, you are my chosen ones. I will share the glory of my Nation with you. In the coming months, when the days are darkest, look to the Promised Land for guidance. Find the conduit that remains and you will be rewarded."

"Oh God how is this even possible?" Shalee whispered to no one in particular as she paced between the holograms, arms folded, her boots thudding across the stone floor. "Any idea what is to happen next?" she looked to James.

"Open warfare, larger than anything we've seen with Nation's incursions before."

"Larger?! We have a hard enough time as it is fighting him."

"So it would seem."

"Are you in Yulai yet? How is it there?" she asked.

"I'm in Yulai, I'll show you what's here at planet two." The screen of her datapad flashed with an image.

"And that takes you to the Promised Land?"

"Only their ships." He answered.

"So they can control who goes through the wormholes too? Amazing..." She sent a message to both Predator Elite and Eran Mintor, forwarding the image.

"James, though we've just come in off of a Bleak's patrol, I think we can rally another fleet. Where are we needed most?"

"Start off in Araz. Get your fleet there as quickly as you can....and Shalee? Be prepared for any and everything...this is nothing like you've ever seen before."

OOC

2011-01-26T03:39:00.003-05:00

I've launched a new site that will operate like the old FWReport, though I will focus more on interviews and the players behind FW.

If you are interested in writing for the site or just wish to relay news or give ideas for articles, please shoot me an eve mail.

http://sovereigntywars.wordpress.com/

Please show some love and link the new site on your bios for a while to get the word out there.

Love yall ♥

Entry 126: Eytjangard part 5

2011-01-09T01:16:00.007-05:00

Everything was spinning.

Colors bled away until nothing was left but a swirl of black and white shadowy figures moving in perfect rhythm with one another.

She could hear soft music, as if someone had opened a music box across the far side of the room. She felt a hand against hers, another at her waist. "Dance," he commanded softly.

Her gaze met his as he pulled her to him, leading her to the center of the room. Around them, other couples swayed, elegantly floating across a ballroom floor. Chandeliers sparkled overhead, their crystals reflecting shards of light across the room, giving off a fairytale atmosphere.

"Vincent?" she asked with confusion as she felt him moving closer to her. "What's going on? Where are we?"

He merely smiled to her, saying nothing as he twirled her around.

She looked to the others as they swirled around her, Aldrith with Morwen, Raxip with Hitome.

The Knighthood with VETO, the Knights in white, VETO in black.

She opened her mouth to call out to Aldrith though her words faded into the music. He danced, oblivious to her, moving closer to Morwen. She could hear Morwen's beguiling laughter echoing around them.

"Dance," Vincent commanded again, trying to capture her attention away from the others.

"No...no somethings not right...you shouldn't be here, we shouldn't be here..."

The music grew louder, an eerie off key melody, a broken music box. She could feel her heart racing, thudding against her chest.

She broke out into a cold sweat as she tried to pull away from him. "Let me go..." she whimpered as she struggled, trying to free herself from his grasp.

"Stop fucking moving!" he yelled at her, yanking her by her hair as she stumbled to the ground.

Suddenly Raxip was in front of her, knife drawn, slashing through the air towards her exposed throat as he smiled sadistically.

Raxip's face bled into Galt Yasters and the ballroom faded to reality.

Sounds of the jungle, screams of guards dying, and explosions around the camp jolted her out of her shell shocked hallucinations.

"Hello Commander." said Kuan Yida, an officer of the Tribal Liberation Force, as he squatted above her. He smiled calmly at her as he sheathed his blade.

Gasping for breath, she stared at him as if trying to discern if he were real or not, then to the slain bodies around her. Severed heads spurted warm blood across the mud, some of it splattering against her bare arms.

She started to shake uncontrollably as she snaked her arms around his shoulders, burying her head against his neck, sobbing, "Are you really here?" she questioned, doubting her own sanity.

"Is this over? Can we go...oh god, Lora! I think they killed her," she sobbed, her voice muffled against his skin.

"She's okay. My men are leading her off now." He trailed a hand across the back of her head to soothe her as he gave a glance around, accessing the situation.

He bunched his fingers in her hair and tipped her head back, looking her in the eye. Her face was beyond pale with dark smudges beneath her glassy eyes. She looked exhausted and drugged. "Dammit," he muttered under his breath as he unhooked a medkit from his belt and found something that would counter what she'd been given. He broke a small vial and dribbled the liquid between her lips, "You have to drink this."

She nodded obediently and swallowed the foul tasting liquid as he hoisted her up and slung her across his shoulders. He carried her off into the shadows of a nearby building to wait for the antidote to kick in.

"What are you doing?" she asked groggily as she felt his hands around her waist.

"Arming you." He latched a shield-belt around her waist complete with stim nanites, a laser pistol, a pair of knives, and a few plasma grenades.

Several minutes passed as he traded intel over comms with the rest of his team.

After he finished, he knelt in front of her, his dark gaze questioning her, "Are you feeling better?"

She gave a quick nod as he tugged her to her feet. "Alright. Let's move out," he said as he moved to the corner of the building and pointed. "This area has been cleared, all hostages are heading to transports that'a way. The BT's still have a heavy presence there." He pointed in the opposite direction. "We need a major distraction to give them enough time to evacuate the rest."

Shalee nodded, "Alright." Her expression uncertain.

He side glanced, noting the doubt. "You've trained for this Commodore. You can do this." He gave her a quick smile. "On my mark."

The next few moments became a blur of explosions, fire, and blood. The pair of them methodically worked their way through the camp, tossing grenades into buildings and vehicles while taking down sentry guards in the process.

She paused to catch her breath, her back to Kuan as he conferred with his team over comms again. The stench of blood made her nauseated, her sleeves were drenched, hands and face sticky red. She wiped the blood-wet blade against her pants, mentally bracing herself for the next round.

"They need a few more minutes," he said as he took stock of what they had left. "How many grenades do you have left?"

"None..." she answered grimly.

"Alright. It's fine. We got this, okay? You trust me, right?" he said, turning to face another group of BT's that had neared them holding machetes and other crude weapons.

"With my life," she said wryly, "which, I might add, is probably going to be over soon."

"Just a few more minutes and it will all be over. You did inject the implant Nabole gave you?"

"Yup..." she said, having no idea what the implant did, only that he had sent it to her through the Vherokior spy.

"Perfect," he said as he lifted his blade. "Easy....easy..." he coaxed, staring at two Brutors as they arrogantly broke free of the group, charging them.

"Now!" In a fluid motion swift motion, twin blades arced through the air, slicing into the two Brutor's throats. Her boot slammed into her attacker's abdomen as his head rolled off of his shoulders. She kicked the body to the side and found her footing, ready for the next attack.

An eerie quiet settled over the blood traitors for a few seconds as they watched the severed heads roll across the muddy ground. As they came to a halt, a war cry erupted from behind them.

Another group was closing in on them, trapping them.

She pivoted around, her back to Kuan, blade raised, "Any bright ideas, Commander?"

"Yeah," he said a bit smugly, "Fight."

They slashed their way through the oncoming wave of bodies. Hands, heads, and arms fell around them as they fought with superior reflexes.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this!" she screamed as she ducked beneath a silver blade that swung towards her head, her knife slamming into the matar's gut. She yanked the blade up and out as he fell back.

Light flashed as tractor beams illuminated the thick dark smoke that covered the sky. Over comms, Kuan was given the good news. "They all have made it," he called out in an exhausted voice. "The rorqual is ready to jump."

"What about us?" she yelled out as she severed another head. Blood squirted, drenching her face, clotting her lashes. She blinked, unable to see clearly.

He didn't bother to answer her as he denoted an anti-matter grenade, one used for deep core moon mining. Everything exploded, the camps now leveled to nothing but a smoking crater.

***

She came to consciousness quickly as she felt hands pulling her from the cloning vat. Ambiotic fluid slid down her skin as she was wrapped with a towel.

Blinking open her eyes, she looked warily at the Vherokior pod tech.

"Who are you? Where is Jonathan?"

"I'm Lao." He smiled to her. "Jonathan?" he asked as he lead her over to the privacy showers.

"My chief pod tech..."

"I work for Commander Yida," he explained as she stepped into the stall. "You are aboard the Red Locus. We are just about to jump out of Eytjangard, I do believe."

"Wait...what?"

"Get cleaned up, Commander Yida is waiting for you on the bridge. "I'm sure he will explain everything."

***

Later that night she wrote in her journal:

Sometimes I question the purpose of this 'war', though I could never really admit it to anyone, not anyone I fly with anyhow. They have to believe that I believe.

I don't fight for what this Empire is, but what it can be. What it will be. I don't fight for slavery, but for God. In my heart I have to believe that God did not mean for humanity to succumb to such twisted evil, not in his name.

The Amarr are wrong and I believe the Empress knows this and that she will lead us out of this darkness. She is the one true beacon of hope in this chaotic madness.

It's not that I think all Amarr are evil. They are merely misguided, desperately clinging to the teachings of their pasts. Good men can do bad things without even realizing it.

And 'bad' men can do good things too.

Eytjangard taught me that much.

People like Admiral Newelle will have me think that people like Commander Yida are worthless, but had not Kuan saved me, I would still be there, I think. Trapped. Tortured. Sold, perhaps.

Captain Fierch would have me believe that men like SilenceIKillYou are wholly evil, but he risked his carrier to free thousands of refugees.

I cannot believe that any soul is inherently good or evil. I believe that we are the sum of many things, that we capable of both, but never truly one or the other. It's all a matter of perspective, anyhow.

On Eytjangard, I learned that good people like Lora can be brutally destroyed despite their good intentions. I learned that men can betray their own people for a simple sum of ISK.

But I also learned that some people, like Kuan, can and will go above the call of duty and the bounds of friendship, to do the right thing.

That is something I will never forget.

***

(( Kuan Yida's blog, Eytjangard Blues part 5, from his perspective))

Entry 125: Eytjangard part 4

2010-12-26T18:53:00.005-05:00

Huola Star System

Predator Elite woke in a cold sweat, his heart thudding loudly, his fingers wound tightly around a thin gray blanket.

The nightmare hovered on the edge of his consciousness, fogging his thoughts and for the moment he couldn't let go of it. Despite the ending, he forced himself to remember the rest, if only to see her face again.

To remember.

She was breathtakingly beautiful.... long straight brown hair, sparkling green eyes that lit every time she looked at him.

His wife.

He sat up and dropped his feet to the floor as he rubbed his hands across his face.

He could still her voice. Such warmth, such love.

She had been everything to him. Wife, lover, friend. Mother to his two sons.

His breathing became ragged as the last few moments of the nightmare played out.

Her screaming, pleading not for herself but for her children.

All three of their voices melded together in one unbearable sound of torture.

And then there was silence.

A mind numbing stretch of silence. How long had it lasted? Hours? Days? Weeks?

He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember anything except an unquenchable thirst for revenge. The days following the murder of his family was nothing but a blur as he tracked down everyone responsible for their deaths.

Standing, he forced the dark memories away as he activated comms, listening to the endless flow of information over the various intel channels. It kept his mind busy, kept him from remembering, from feeling.

A few moments later after a quick shower and a cup of coffee, he stepped out of the captain's quarters of his Bhaalgorn.

As he rallied up a fleet for patrol, he scanned the joining members, noting that she wasn't there.

The second night in a row and she'd been absent, without a word as to why. It was unlike her. She'd been by his side almost unfailing since he'd join the Amarrian militia.

A feeling of dread washed over him. The not knowing was the worst, not that she owed him an explanation of where she was...but goddamn it.

Didn't she know he'd worry?

***

Shalee tightened her fingers in her hair as she laid her forehead against her knees, huddled in the corner of their cage. It had been thirty eight hours since she'd been captured.

It had been nearly four days since she'd truly slept. Exhaustion drenched every pore of her skin. She'd become feverish and started to hallucinate as she'd come down from the high of stims she'd used to keep awake during the exodus.

The stench of death hovered. They had left the one who had tried to protect her in the cell with her and the doctor and now he had begun to rot.

She barely noticed the smell and could only vaguely hear Lora's strained voice.

"Shalee, listen to me." Lora commanded. "You have to get some sleep."

"I have...remember?"

"You were unconscious, it's not the same thing. You need to rest..." she said with a mixture of worry and scolding.

"I'm fine."

"No. You're not. You have to sleep, you're getting sick and there's nothing I can do for you like this."

Before she could respond, the door opened.

Two Seibestor guards grabbed each woman and yanked them from the cage to tie their hands behind their backs.

Her body ached with protest at the sudden jarring, her muscles sore and stiff.

She blinked several times, trying to adjust her vision to the dim light. It was dark out though there were several fires lit along the way giving off enough light that she could make out the swarm of armed men huddled around the camp site.

She locked her gaze on one man as she passed by him. He leered in return.

They were taken towards a crude building made of wood and jagged pieces of metal.

"On your knees!" The two women were forced down a few feet from the door, pressed into the thick mud.

Galt Yaster, a tall, wiry Seibestor, stepped out wearing a dirty, bloodied uniform. He was older than the both of them, his face lined with wrinkles and scarring.

Defiantly, Shalee lifted her head and stared at him, her blue eyes lit with fury.

He laughed at her boldness. "Such spirit for someone so young." He neared them and cupped Shalee's chin, his thumb grazed along the edge of her jaw, smearing away the dirt. "Have you enjoyed my hospitality?"

She said nothing in return.

He chuckled as he squatted in front of her. She could smell a mixture of alcohol and cigarettes on his breath as he leaned in to whisper, "I will have fun breaking your spirit."

Her stomach lurched as she felt the tip of his tongue on her ear. In a swift movement, she jerked her head around and clamped her teeth against his chin, biting as hard as she possibly could before he shoved her away.

"You god damned whore!" He shouted as he stood, hand pressed against his bleeding chin. "You'll fucking pay for your insolence!" Yaster motioned several of his men forward. "Take her inside."

They neared Shalee, "No. Not her. The doctor. Leave the door open, let her hear everything."

The men drug Lora into the building.

Seconds later the doctor's screams filled the night air.

Shalee squeezed her eyes shut and started deliriously humming to herself to drown out the torture.

She gasped, choking on air as Yaster's knee slammed into her back, "Shut the fuck up. You'll listen to every god damned scream she makes and you'll know it's because of you. You'll hear everything, and you'll wonder exactly what they are doing to her. You can sit there with your pride and arrogance, fucking Amarrian whore, and you'll know that you did this to her."

He grabbed a fistful of hair and jerked her head back, "Open your god damned eyes. I want you to stare at the door and listen to what you've done. Are they raping her? Are they taking turns fucking her brains out? Are they slicing her open? I want you to fucking wonder whats going on in there, fear it, little one....because you're next."

***

(Eytjangard Blues, part 4)

Entry 124: Eytjangard part 3

2010-12-19T23:31:00.010-05:00

"Are you awake?"

Consciousness came slowly, as if she were swimming through muddy water, trying to reach the shimmering light above the surface, following the sound of the woman's voice.

She heard the question again but couldn't tell where the voice was coming from or who it belonged to.

As she blinked open her eyes, a trickle of blood slithered down her forehead, wetting her lashes. Pain shot through her as she lifted a hand to wipe it away.

She couldn't quite catch her breath. Her vision was blurred, distorted images, shadows, and beams of light melded together.

Her body ached all over, feeling heavier than it should. As she tried to move she realized she was trapped beneath something.

Or someone...

"Oh god!" She started to panic as she struggled beneath his weight.

"Be quiet," the whisperer commanded. "And for the love of Junip stop moving, don't worry about him, he is dead."

Shalee went eerily still after resting her head against the back of the cage.

"He wouldn't leave you," the voice whispered to her. "He tried to protect you. They called him a hero... before they murdered him."

"He died?" Shalee gasped as tears streaked through the smeared blood and mud across her face. "Oh gods he died because of me? But how did we get here? Where are we?"

"You're in a slave prison camp."

"And who are you?" she asked as the memories slowly started to trickle through the fog in her mind.

"Doctor Lora Wells, from Otellen Prime. Part of the Amity Project. My team had been here for a few weeks...." she went silent for a moment, "...until the massacre."

She could hear the pain in her voice even if she couldn't see her in the darkness. "I'm sorry."

"I had went for supplies..." Her voice was soft, older. Compassionate. "I...when I got back, the entire hospital..." Her voice cracked, "They were all dead."

Lora explained in a tight voice, "They have no use for the sick, and I can only imagine that my team tried to fight back, tried to defend them. But they are doctors, not warriors, goddammit."

"I'm so sorry." Shalee apologized , feeling it were somehow her fault. If she would have arrived sooner, maybe she would have been able to rescue more. Done more.

"There was no one left. No one." Lora responded in a dull voice. "They slaughtered every single person there, struck them dead in their beds, left their mangled bodies across the floors. Some had tried to fight back I think, sick as they were. And I came back to it, walked through the carnage and wondered ...why not me? Why was I spared? Why..."

Silent tears snaked a steady path across her cheeks, dripped onto her filthy shirt, wetting it. "God must have a purpose for you still," Shalee whispered.

"You think I still believe in God?" Lora whispered grimly.

"You're angry. But God didn't kill those people. Men did. Evil, sadistic men."

"God didn't save them either." Lora said in a higher pitched voice, as if she were on the verge of hysteria.

"Maybe he did. Maybe that was his way of saving them...now they are with him." Shalee hesitated, "We are all meant to die eventually."

"How can you even say such a thing, being a capsuleer..."

"I know, I haven't the right to say anything. I'm sorry."

Lora sighed softly, "No, you're right, I shouldn't lose my faith. They can take everything else from me, but that's one thing I shouldn't let them murder. God damned savages."

"How long have you been here?" Shalee whispered.

"About a week. They caught me a few hours outside of Camp Louella, I was trying to get to the space port."

"Do you know how long I've been here?" she asked.

"A day or so. They brought you in with him. He was still fighting them when they brought you both in."

"Darg." Shalee shifted again, wincing as she tried to pull her leg out from beneath him. "He was a volunteer, he was....I don't know anything else about him." she said remorsefully.

They both fell silent.

She listened to the sound of rushing water nearby, the constant droning of insects, peppered with the occasional far away scream. She offered up a silent prayer.

"I'm Shalee, by the way."

"I know. You talk in your sleep....you've been pretty out of it. That's why they put you in here with me, told me to 'make sure she doesn't die'. You're obviously worth a lot of ISK to them." She gave Shalee a long speculative look. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"Why are you here? Not in the camp I mean, but..why does someone from the Amarr militia fight to enslave people, then turn around and secretly try to set them free?"

"I didn't fight for Eytjangard. I'm in the militia to defend our sovereignty from invaders, terrorists. There's a difference. Most in the Knighthood only fight defensively...we are not part of the reclaiming. But we will defend what is ours by right."

"Do you own slaves?" she asked.

"No, of course not." Shalee said with frustration.

"Sorry, stupid question."

"It's alright. Most people hear an Amarrian accent and just automatically assume slaver. But slavers represent only a small faction of the population. The Fed's and Matar like to spread their propaganda and people just eat it up."

"I shouldn't have said anything, really sorry." Lora gave a sigh of exhaustion as she looked forward, peering through the bars of their crude cage. "I wonder what they are going to do with us..." She sounded afraid.

"I don't know..." Shalee replied. "But surely AP must know what has happened...surely they will send somebody..." Her brows furrowed, knowing that it would be impossible for the Project to get involved, technically Amity Project did not exist.

"Yeah. They will send someone. Surely." Lora agreed, knowing it was a lie but needing something to believe in.

A Vherokior slid two trays into the cell as the doors swung open. Moonlight spilled across the floor. Shalee blinked, her vision still blurry, her head aching. She looked to her captor, "I know you don't expect me to eat while I have a dead man laying across me." she said sharply.

"You will eat," he said matter of fact as he stooped over and shoved the body off of her. Two armed guards came up behind the Vherokior, smirking, leering.

He grabbed her by the ankle and slid her forward, towards him. She struggled frantically as raw fear seized her. "Please! No!"

He laughed as he grabbed her other foot, pinning her down, "She's a spirited one." He said to the two laughing behind him.

"Don't you dare touch me! I'll kill you I swear to God I'll slit your throat open!" She screamed, struggling as he climbed across her.

He shoved her bound hands above her head against the blood slicked floor. "That's it, fight me little Ni Kunni, makes it all the better," he said loudly, as if enjoying it.

She spit in his face.

Shalee squeezed her eyes shut and rolled her head to the side as he leaned his head down to hers. His mouth was on her ear, "The Commander is coming. He said you'd know what to do."

The scarred Vherokior pressed something into the palm of her hand as he climbed off of her, laughing.

The door slammed then locked, the Vherokior chuckled, pretending to threaten her, "I'll be back for you, little one."

****
(((OOC note. Check out Kuan Yida's blog, Eytjangard Blues 3, he is writing the Eytjangard story from his character's perspective. Also, the story is dedicated to SilenceIKillYou♥, since he is the one who asked us to write it.)))

Entry 123: Eytjangard, part 2

2010-12-17T20:44:00.003-05:00

She sat, staring at two small girls. One with long red ringlet curls, the other with honey blonde straight hair and sparkling blue eyes.

They stared back at her, unblinking.

"Who are you?" she asked, her voice sounding very far away, alien even to herself.

The smallest suddenly grinned, her dimples popping, her face animated with light. Angelic, almost.

"Oh god...am I dead?" Shalee looked around frantically as fear coursed through her. To be dead was to be judged by God. To finally pay the price for her sins.

"No. You are not dead. You are...sleeping. Sort of. You're unconscious." The red headed answered.

"I see..." she said in a very calm voice, her fear fading just a bit. "Wait. No, I don't. Where am I? Who are you?"

"We are you." The red headed answered her again while the blonde merely stared at her.

"Uh...?"

"Parts of you, anyhow. Raphael calls me Red."

"Raphael knows you?" Shalee asked.

"Of course. Everyone knows me. I visit them sometimes." Red puckered up her small mouth, lips pursed, expression stubborn. "I have to, because you wont."

"I don't understand..."

"I know." She said cryptically. "Cause I know everything about you." She tapped her fingertip to her temple. "I am here, remember?"

"I'm losing my mind, obviously." Shalee said as she glanced around the white room. A vast expanse of white, the corners thin streams of pale light.

"Not really. You're just afraid. You don't tell people what you really think or feel. You're always keeping secrets from everyone, afraid that if they know the truth they will hurt you. Like Hadrien did. But everyone isn't like him. You hide...so I come out. I try to fix things for you."

"Well obviously you're not doing too good of a job." She countered, thinking about all the fucked up things in her life.

Red sighed rather dramatically, "You do make things awfully hard, you know."

Shalee looked from Red to the blonde girl. "And who is she exactly?"

"You were her."

"Were?"

"Yeah. Before you were Shalee. Before you were born. Long time ago, you were her. She tried to show you stuff but you kept ignoring her and finally she stopped....but now she's back."

Shalee's face flashed with skepticism. "Look. I don't believe in any of that nonsense, reincarnation or whatever. I'm no Intaki." Shalee said matter of factly, almost as if she were lecturing the girl.

Red grinned mischievously, "No, but you were. And anyhow, doesn't matter if you believe. Doesn't take your belief in stars or planets or spaceships to make them so does it? They simply exist."

Shalee looked between Red and the blonde again. "Alright. So if I was her, what is she doing here now?"

Red shrugged, "I don't know. She doesn't really talk and she hardly ever comes around anymore. I try to find her sometimes but it's like...." She looked thoughtful for a moment, "Like she's hiding behind something. And I can't really reach her."

"But she's here now." Shalee said, pointing to the blonde child.

"Yes, well, sort of. None of us are really here. It's like a dream, sort of. And anyhow, I'm only here because I can't get out..."

"What does that mean?"

"When you sleep I can go anywhere really. All the holoworlds. And I can use the holodrones and go to the real world too. Anywhere I want. I talk to all kinds of people, especially in the Keep. But....now I'm stuck. I can't get out. I think something happened. Or maybe it's because you're not really asleep, but unconscious. You're partially aware of what is happening out there, I think."

"Where?"

"In the jungle."

"The jungle...?"

"Try to remember. You're on Eytjangard. They invaded the camp as you were trying to leave. You almost died." Red frowned deeply, her tiny little face a picture of sorrow. "Reslye saved you."

Shalee nodded slowly as it started to come back to her. "I remember...it was raining. And I had a ship malfunction and...oh gods. Chase? He was coming back for me and they shot him out of the sky...."

Red widened her eyes. "He will live again, you needn't worry about him, he is a capsuleer. It's poor Reslye that you should mourn. She died trying to save you. She took the bullet that was meant for you. Then Darg picked you up cause you got hit with some debris as something exploded. Blood was everywhere, but you were alive and he picked you up and carried you. He stopped somewhere and wrapped your bleeding head with lots of bandages and now he is still running with you...but they are chasing."

Shalee paled, "Now?"

Red nodded, "Right now. He is running through the jungle with you...listen." She slanted her gaze as if looking elsewhere, "Can't you hear them? The guns? Listen. People are still dying." The little girl started to cry, "They keep shooting them. The ones that they can't sell. The very old and sick...they're all going to die!" she sobbed.

Shalee looked over Red's shoulder, staring at the white wall, as if hypnotized. A light appeared, a tiny pinpoint of yellow light. It started to spread, taking the shape of a moon. The dark sky surrounding it bled across the white wall. Stars twinkled against the sky, pieces of asteroids shimmered. Closer, leaves took shape, tangled vines, and plumes of smoke. She inhaled, smelling a mixture of blood, smoke, and sweat. A cacophony of sound assaulted her at once; gunfire, screams, and a steady rhythmic thumping. A heartbeat. Darg's heartbeat?

Her blue gaze met his as she looked up at him. "Commodore?" He said breathlessly. Sweat dripped down his face. She shivered, feeling cold and faint despite the humid jungle breeze.

Before she could respond, the room went white again. She looked to Red, "You need to do whatever it is that you do and go get help."

"I'm trying. I'm working on it, anyhow. But you're gonna have to go all the way asleep, I think. Or something. Maybe you hit your head too hard, maybe I'll never be able to leave again..."

Shalee tried to console the child, "We are going to be fine." She didn't really believe it.

Red pouted, "You shouldn't lie, I know when you're lying."

Shalee folded her arms across her chest. "This is fracked up," she muttered. "Talking to you. Who is me. Or was me." She shook her head, on the verge of hysteria.

Red stood up. "I saw something. Just before you were hit....in the camp. There were some people. Not BT's, not refugees either. And they weren't from the Amity Project, not the volunteers."

"Who were they?"

Red shrugged, "I don't know...but they were watching you. They have been watching you, I think. You just weren't paying attention."

"I was exhausted." She'd been living off stims to keep her going.

"I know."

"Did they look like Imperial Agents?"

The little girl shrugged, "I don't know, I couldn't tell really. They were just...out of place."

Shalee didn't know whether to be relieved or more afraid. Was it someone to help her or someone to harm her?

"When I fall asleep, I need you to tell someone...." But who? She couldn't involve anyone in the Amarr Empire. She could get in trouble, be branded a traitor to the Empire. Though she had pirate friends, could she really count on them to help? They might try to save her but they'd leave the rest to perish, or perhaps try to sell the people themselves. Anything for ISK. That left the enemy. Which Minmatar could she trust to intervene? Who would help and not sell her out in the process?"

"Mister Yida? He knows you help the slaves." Red said practically, "And he wouldn't want to hurt you."

"That will work...if you can reach him. We don't have very much time. Contact ...anyone from the Minmatar, anyone who is in local. We will just have to risk it."

Red nodded, "Alright. I can do that...but what if I can't get out?"

Shalee shook her head, "Then I don't know...."

***
(Eytjangard Blues part two, companion piece)

Entry 122: Eytjangard, Part 1

2010-12-16T17:14:00.007-05:00

Eytjangard Star System

"We must fight them. We must beat them back with the plated fist of righteousness. We must take the flaming sword of Amarr and drive it deep into their stone cold hearts! Nay, my brothers; we don't do this for personal profit or fame. We don't drive back the darkness for medals or glory. Our pure motivation is LOVE! Love for God. Love for Empress. Love for those poor filthy Matari wretches."

Gabriel Theodoulo's speech played on a continuous loop over the airwaves as the Eytjangard system went through the gruelling process of changing hands. Every space port, every government building, any and all official holdings would change from the Minmatar to the Amarr.

It would take weeks for the Minmatar government to evacuate, officially.

During those weeks, Shalee spent her downtime helping with the unofficial evacuations.

It was a race against time. A race to clear out people before the slavers could get to them.

Like all things Amarrian, it took an enormous amount of time to go through proper protocols to get the government systems up and running. There was paperwork to file, ceremonies to be had, speeches to be given.

An Amarrian Reclaiming could be swift, but an Amarrian Occupancy took time.

Precious, precious time. Those hours, days, and weeks after a reclaiming was so tied up in pomp and circumstance that Slavers could come in and clear out entire villages without anyone ever being the wiser. They would come in the night, like the Sansha, using drop ships and soldiers and simply take what they wanted with little resistance. Simply because no one was there to stop them.

It was illegal in theory but far too common in practice for anyone in the upper echelons of Amarrian society to really care.

By the time the Amarrian government officials were in place, thousands upon thousands of Matari would simply be reported missing without any real effort to find them.

Missing, what the offical reports said.

Abducted, what everyone knew.

***

She'd been asked by the leaders of the Amity Project to intervene, to be a part of the Eytjangard exodus, to help clear out as many refugees as she could before the slavers could get to them. Naturally those who could afford to do so had already fled off world. The poor were left stranded.
For two days she flew with a team of other capsuleers, ferrying Matari from crude, makeshift landing pads to the spaceport where they would then be divided up and relocated to various other systems.

It was an exhausting process.

Thousands upon thousands wanted to leave. The refugee camps were overflowing with those waiting their turn, waiting for their chance for freedom, a new life elsewhere.

Young and old alike littered the muddy streets of Camp Louella, named for the infamous Space Nun. They carried suitcases, boxes, anything that could fit beneath their arms.

Smoke unfurled into the gray sky from fire pits spread along the camp, masking the smell of a thousand, rain drenched refugees.

Shalee stood on the platform, her clothes dirty, face streaked with mud, expression weary. Exhaustion colored the pale skin beneath her eyes a shade of dark blue.

She gave a tired sigh as she waited for the volunteers to settle the next batch of people into the hold of the cargo shuttle.

Her gaze slanted up, looking towards the clouded sky as she listened to the rain pelting against the tarp that had awkwardly been suspended across the landing pad's 'waiting station'.

The other capsuleers often stayed in their pods during their down time, but this go around she had opted to have a look around.

A part of her wished she hadn't. She'd seen too much in such a small amount of time. Too many desperate people, their dark eyes silently begging her to help them. Their fear was almost a palpable thing. The fear of the unknown, of their uncertain futures. That is, if they were lucky enough to make it off the planet in time.

Those that wouldn't be saved, those people would face a much worse fate.

"Commodore?" Reslye interrupted her reverie as she stepped up behind her. "It's time."

"Alright, thank you." She glanced to the Intaki, giving her a tired smile. "I'm ready." She followed her over to the transporter. "What's going to happen to all those people...." she asked as she changed into her pod suit.
"Some will start new lives and all of this will eventually be just a horrible memory. The lucky ones anyhow. Some will flourish, others will perish, unable to cope with the change. And those we wont be able to rescue in time?" Reslye shook her head, "They will be stolen away for the illegal slave markets or processed into the new regime for 'reeducation'."

"I wish we had more time. I wish..." Shalee trailed off, her expression grim. Wishing was useless. The only thing that mattered was ferrying off those people, as many as she could anyhow.

"I know." Res gave her a quick hug. "We are all doing what we can, and every little bit helps. Try not to dwell on the people we cannot save, but all of those who will have a chance just because you are here."

Shalee nodded, "I'm trying. It just seems so unfair, all of it."

"It is. The Amarrians come in and 'reclaim'...and yet most have no real idea of what that even means to these people. Uprooted from their homes, their lives turned upside down. These people haven't hurt anyone, these people...." She stared off into the distance, looking at the countless refugees huddled by the fires, shivering beneath makeshift tents.

It was Shalee's turn to say, "I know."

The two women looked at one another for a long moment. "You have a safe journey."

"I will. See you on the flipside, okay?"

Moments later, Shalee was preparing for take off when an explosion shook the landing pad. Over comms, another capsuleer who was on his way back down gave the grim news, "Looks like we've been discovered. Get the hell out of there Commodore."

"I'm trying...I'm trying!" Her body tensed as adrenaline coursed through her. She could hear another explosion as she tried to get airborne.

"Goddamnit, system malfunction! What's happening? Chase? What's going on out there?"

"BTs." Slang for Blood Traitors, bastards who would sell out their own people for ISK and protection of the new regime. "You have to get out of there Lianne, you can't be discovered you know that. You have to leave them behind!"

"Even if I wanted to I can't! Somethings wrong..."

"Fuck it," he uttered as he changed course, "I'm coming for you."

"No, Chase, don't. Don't risk it!" She quickly started the depodding procedure. Ambiotic fluid drained away as she disconnected. A minute later she was sliding onto the metal grating, listening to the dripping fluid splash in the vat below.

"Too late, we can't leave you behind. If you're caught, you'll jeopardize the whole mission."

"I wont get caught, I swear."

"I'm not going to risk it."

"Stupid, stupid man! I'll be okay, I know where the safe houses are. I'll be able to escape," she told him as she quickly dressed into commoner's clothing. Matari clothing, it would help her blend in better as she made her escape. "I'll comm you once I am.."

Another explosion rocked the landing pad. She lost her balance and fell forward, grasping onto the door. She crawled the short distance to the exit as smoke filled the corridor.

Coughing, she doubled over as she tried to catch her breath. She could barely hear Chase barking orders over the earpiece as the refugees screamed in terror all around her. Gunfire erupted, drowning out the sound of everything as the BT's moved in on the camp.

She stood there, frozen in place as the rain trickled down her face. Sound faded into nothingness, eerily silent as the world around her seemed to slow down, moving in slow motion.

She watched in horror as the traitors shot those who tried to run. Those who stayed were forced down upon their knees in the mud, their hands hastily tied behind their backs.

Above, the sky turned a myriad of colors as a rocket slammed into a returning shuttle.

"Chase..."

And just as suddenly as everything went silent, sound and motion returned with a sharp piercing bang.

Reslye was beside her, grabbing her by the arm, pulling her to safety as another volunteer shot one of the traitors who had spotted them.

She watched him fall, blood splattering across his dirty shirt, dripping down his torso.

"Run!" The last thing she heard before everything went black.

***

(( Eytjangard Blues, Part One ~ companion piece ))

OOC, auction & stuff

2010-12-10T01:34:00.003-05:00

http://www.eveonline.com/ingameboard.asp?a=topic&threadID=1428392

/ giggle.

So the auction ended at 175mil. Dunno how I feel about that, the stuff probably isn't worth all that. I'll contract it to the guy but I doubt he will pick it up. Hope he does tho, this is the absolute brokest I've ever been on EvE, ever.

In other news, I'm toly e-famous. Read my interview here:
http://theicyhawt.tumblr.com/ lots o' love for Sneaky♥

And Shalee is mentioned in a new story by Milan (previous Michael Priboj) here:
http://www.eveonline.com/ingameboard.asp?a=topic&threadID=1429483

PIE does a contest for the best Amarrian for the year, they keep the nominations open for 10 days or so, then narrow it down to a 'short list' for their corp to vote on. They just announced the short list, and everyone who was nominated BUT Shalee made it to the short list...and the short list includes people like Zenton Karvash (whom I'm ok with ooc, but IC come on! he betrayed Amarr and hunted them down). And Kazzzi! For fucks sake! I never expected Shalee to win because she is too much of a wild child by PIE's stuffy old standards. But to get snubbed like that, ouch. Feel free to express your general outrage here: http://www.eveonline.com/ingameboard.asp?a=topic&threadID=1424037

And lastly! Everyone keeps asking me what is up with Zenton, why he left IFW and Minmatar. I do not know, okay? I am not Zenton's keeper. However, I do know that he has a new RP blog which can be read here:
http://zentonkarv.blogspot.com/

Oh, and, our corp wishing you a merry christmas here: http://www.kotmc.com/forum_threads/665357 (it makes me giggles everytime)

Update:
http://minerinconviences.blogspot.com/
The blog of Raphael Saint, very good read!

Entry 121: Resurrection

2010-12-07T22:21:00.006-05:00

She remembered. A breath inhaled. A breath released. Her heart racing, body tensed. Waiting. And then, glimmering green lights piercing the hull before darkness enveloped her.

How much time passed between death and resurrection? Those last thoughts, memories, emotions, all of the events and feelings and experiences that make up life, how long did it take to process, to send, to inject, or whatever the fuck that happened as one clone died and another suddenly jolted to life.

How much time in between? And what happened to a soul during those fleeting moments of being neither here nor there?

Where were you?

Did you see the face of God?

***

"Commodore Lianne?" Jonathan, her chief pod tech pulled the breathing tube from her mouth while rubbing a cloth across her eyelids.

She blinked several times, trying to focus, her expression vauge as if she hadn't fully woken.

"Are you with us?"

"I'm here..." She pulled her hand up out of the shimmering ambiotic fluid and reached for the cloth, taking it from him.

"Good, good." He helped her to her feet and wrapped a towel around her, then lead her off to the showers.

Later, he put her to sleep so that he could inject her implants. The humm of one of the holograms activating caught his attention. He turned his head, seeing the the smallish holoform of a small girl. She wore a long white dress with her red hair hanging to her waist in ringlet curls.

The hologram grinned and waved to him shyly. She stepped over to the table to watch him work.

"You know, I still haven't figured out exactly how you're doing that..."

She shrugged, "Me either."

The first time he'd seen her, he almost thought she was some sort of apparition or hallucination, knowing it would be impossible for a real child to activate a holodrone inside of the medical facility. The place was absurdly secure, capsuleers paid a lot of isk to make certain of that.

After speaking with her the second time, he realized she was some sort of manifestation of Shalee's subconsciousness. When the Commodore slept, her mind did not. Instead, she had somehow used her implants to connect with the outside world.

Jonathan was fascinated, having never heard of holographic sleepwalking until the impish girl randomly appeared to him one strange day.

From that point on, he became determined to figure out how she was doing it, and why.

She could manifest most anywhere there was a holodrone. He had traced her digital footprints, finding remnants of her in several hubs of virtual reality as well. What he couldn't understand is why Shalee chose the avatar of a small girl.

What made her wander New Eden while she slept? And why did she not remember when she woke up?

"How are you, little one?" he asked as he slowly went through the procedure.

She sighed, "We are not very good, I think."

"What's happened?"

"She's been really sad..." The holographic little girl paced by one of the stainless steel tables, absently looking at the medical equipment.

Jonathan looked at her questionally, waiting for her to explain.

"There was a fight. With Eran. He was really upset with her when she wasn't at the Keep, she was on patrols with Pred. And when she finally got to the Keep he had been waiting for a long time, I think. And he was drunk and...and he was a little bit...angry. She tried to explain but he said she had changed, that there used to be a time she would put him before duty."

He nodded.

"She stayed with him for hours and hours and he didn't get any better, and he kept asking her to love only him. And then he said there were rumors of her with another and when she asked who he said Leopold and she got really mad at him."

Jonathan lifted his brows as the little girl chattered on.

"And then she went downstairs because he was driving her crazy but he followed her, and then he tried to fight with her some more. And she asked him to stop but he wouldn't. And then Verone came in."

"Verone, from VETO?"

She nodded, "Yes. Him." The girl paced around to the other side of the table and gave Shalee a fleeting glance before settling her eerie gaze back on him to finish her story.

"And then Eran wouldn't stop, he kept wanting to fight with her but she tried to tell him she would talk to him later after he was awake and sober and Verone was tired of listening to them fight and he was leaving and she was going to go too but he wouldn't take her. And she got mad at them both."

"And even after Verone left Eran wouldn't stop. He grabbed her and was yelling at her and he told her to tell him to leave him. And so she did. And she pulled away and she left."

Her little face twisted up, her brows drew together as a look of sadness washed across her pale skin, "And then she sent Verone a letter too, she said she never wanted to see him again either. She was mad at them both."

The little girl sighed, "And then she went away, said she wouldn't come back for a while. She asked Zenton to pod her so she could 'start over'."

"Zenton? But he is the enemy is he not? Why would she trust him?"

"She didn't have to trust him. She had to die."

"Good point."

They both looked to the sleeping pilot.

"What will she do now?"

"She says she's going to fix her security status. She says she don't want no more boyfriends either. She says that she just wants to be a nun or something."

Jonathan smirked, "A nun? Intriguing."

The little girl shrugged, "She says she's going to be so good that even mean ole Mitara can't find fault with her."

He chuckled. "That should be interesting."

The girl frowned. "She can be good if she wants to...but it's really hard."

"But she is good already," he said as he looked at her earnestly. "Are you worried?"

She spoke in a very small voice, "Sometimes she does bad things..."

"Such as?" he asked as he methodically went through a check list, the faint blue glow from his datapad lighting his face.

"Like..." she hesitated for a moment, "Well. Like when she has to kill people 'cause Pred says to but then sometimes Aldrith gets mad."

"Ah. That doesn't make her bad necessarily, just makes her a soldier following orders."

She nodded. "I guess. There are other things...."

"...but you don't want to tell me."

"Not yet. He will get mad."

"Who?"

"I can't tell you.

"You can tell me anything, remember that. When the time is right, okay?"

She nodded again. "Okay. But not now."

He lifted Shalee's arm, seconds away from injecting something to bring her out of her forced sleep. "Anything else you want to tell me before I wake her up?"

She shook her head no. "Not really...can I come and see you again?"

"I'm counting on it."

Entry 120: Across The Stars

2010-12-02T20:41:00.003-05:00

A faint blueish glow illuminated her face as she accepted the holographic call from her CEO, Aldrith Shutaq.

She paced the catwalk inside her Houla hangar in her pod suit, the holodrone following beside her, "Yes?"

Aldrith offered a small smile. "Hello Shalee. Just checking on you. Everything alright?"

"Just perfect."

"Alright... the sarcasam is not lost on me, but alright. We were just worried since you did not come to the fleet."

"I need some time away from the front. I'm going to work on my security status until it is positive," she said as she neared the med station. A team of pod techs swarmed around her, taking vitals and preparing her flight.

"I understand. Take as long as you need. And if you ever need to talk..."

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"Shalee, of course I'm going to worry," he said.

"Everything is fine. I promise. I've had a bit of clarity."

"I know how that goes... I actually had to have several moments of clarity before I became who I am today. I didn't turn out too bad, I hope?"

She interrupted suddenly, "Don't hate me for what he does. I've tried to be with him but he makes it impossible. I'm done with men."

Aldrith blinked. "Shalee, do you really think I'd blame you for not wanting to be with a drunk? I still admire and care about him, but he has some... issues to work through now. And... wow, done with men? I'm both shocked and proud."

She shrugged.

He smiled a little more, wincing when the cut on his lip opened a bit. "Yeah, he and I had a... talk. One he doesn't remember, but I think a few things stuck.

"She gave a glance to the holo, "What happened to your lip?"

Aldrith laughed light-heartedly. "Funny you'd notice that before the black eye and broken nose..."

She frowned at him, "I wasn't really paying attention, about to undock soon...did he do that?"

"I did a few things to him too..Heh... Brutor. You know. We reached an understanding though." Aldrith said.

"That's good."

"So... when do you think you'll come home?"

"A few days at least," she answered vaguely.

Aldrith nodded, "Take care, Shalee."

"You too, Aldrith." She killed the connection.
　
***
A thousand images and sounds processed at once as she undocked from the 24th in Huola. The ambient noise over comms flowed across her mind like a slow moving river. She picked through the information for the only thing that would stop her from her task. Lukka.

Thankfully he wasn't in system.

By habit, she immediately warped to the insta undock while setting her destination for Lantorn, a system she once lived in during the early part of her capsuleer career.

She'd made up her mind and now all she had to do was actually go through with it. She needed a fresh start, to clear her mind. A new body. A new way of existing.

Her thoughts raced. She knew what she wanted done...but by who's hand? She scanned local and saw Predator Elite docked up. He'd do it, probably, if she begged...but it would cost him standings. She wouldn't ask it of him. She quickly dismissed everyone else in local as well. No, it couldn't be by an Amarrian, it wouldn't be worth the standings hit they would have to take.

A pirate? They wouldn't care about standings. A pirate made the most sense...but who? She thought of Verone. Could he? Would he? He'd probably yell, call her dramatic. No, it couldn't be at his hands. Nor at the hands of the only other pirate she trusted, Vincent. He'd probably tell Verone first, anyhow.

That left the enemy. A few names flickered across her mind, bloodthirsty men who would see to it in a heartbeat...but she didn't want it to be like that.

It had to be symbolic. Had to mean something, else what was the point?

And then she knew who it had to be. She took a chance and invited him to fleet with her. She'd take it as a sign from God that she was doing the right thing, if he were free, then she'd go through with it. If he rejected the fleet, then she'd simply dock back up and forget the whole foolish idea.

"Thank you for accepting the fleet invite..."

"My pleasure Shalee is there something I can do for you?" Zenton Karvash asked.

" ...yes. Could you meet me in Lantorn, for old time sakes?"

"Alright I'll be there shortly."

"I'm going to ask you to do something that should come easily to you." she said as she jumped through the Kourmonen star gate.

"Alright." His tone was curious.

"I w-want you to pod me."

He hesitated, "Why on earth would you want me to do that?"

"Because it's something that needs to be done, because I'm starting over, and I want to fully start over. New body. I don't want the taint of this bounty. Makes me feel like a pirate. I'll devote myself to raising my security status after you do this..."

He said nothing.

"Will you? Will you do this for me Zenton?"

"A fresh start isn't as easy as a new body Shalee... I would know that better than anyone, are you sure that is what you really want to do?"

"I know it's not that easy, but it is symbolic. At least for me." She made the final jump into Lantorn. He was there in unchartered space. She warped to him in nothing but a shuttle.

He was silent for a moment before answering her, "Alright on one term," he said as he locked her, a warning sounded off inside the Amarrian shuttle. Pred's shuttle. She ignored it.

"And that would be?" she asked, trying not to lose her nerve.

"Someone suggested to me I need guidance I would like you to possibly be that guidance, not like theres anyone else who I could turn too."

" ...guidance? You want me to help you? Help you do what, Zenton? You fight for the Minmatar...you're a virtual enemy."

"I don't know how long I'll be fighting for your enemies...and try is all I can ask of you." he said.

"Interesting. Very well then... I shall try."

"Then I shall grant your request."

"Thank you..."

She tensed, waiting. Seconds bled into minutes. "...why are you hesitating?"

"God forgive me," he whispered.

The last thing she remembered before dying was how pretty the green lasers pouring from his Navy Omen looked as they ripped into her ship.

Entry 119: Saving Valhiri

2010-11-24T21:28:00.007-05:00

Dear Valhiri,
I don't even know if you will remember me, we only met the once and under bizarre circumstances. I was a part of the rescue effort when you were freed at the slave auction several months ago.
I played the part of the Amarrian Slave holder who purchased you, I took you aboard my ship while we waited for the others to be rescued.
I have thought of you often since your rescue and wondered how you have been. I hope you are well.
I really don't know what else to say here...just wondering about you.
Sincerely,
Shalee Lianne

***

Avari Slave Market, Spring, 112

Sweat trickled down her face as she pulled off the ornate gold and silver headpiece. Heat flushed her cheeks and her heart was racing.

Once inside the transporter, several crew members swarmed her for orders. She'd just purchased several hundred slaves from the Avair market in a ruse to distract the slavers so that the rest of the rescue team could make their move.

Though she was no stranger to the underground world of slave rescue ops, this was the first time she'd worked with many of them. Some faces were familiar like Ashar KorAzor and Esna Pitoojee. She knew and trusted them. The others, not so much. Though she'd heard of people like Jakiin, CJ Walker, and Ember Vykos, she was a bit apprehensive to be working with them, to allowing her identity to be known as someone who actively fought against slavery.

It was one thing to say in the Empire that you owned no slaves, it was a far different thing to be accused of helping free them.

Shalee gave orders to her crew, sending off various slaves into different quarters. Once they were settled in, she gave the go-ahead for take off. She was far more comfortable in orbit than she would be so close to the market.

All but one slave was sent to quarters. Another, Valhiri Akell, would be brought into the captain's quarters.

Blue eyes focused on the rescued girl. She smiled as she motioned for Valhiri to follow her. Though she'd never met her, she had a good idea she was drugged.

"You are my new mistress. I love you, can I rub your feet?"

Shalee frowned, knowing the girl would regret saying any of this later. She couldn't help but to feel sorry for her. "All I want you to do is sit there, okay? We will have you out of here soon, back where you belong."

Valhiri Akell smiled, her eyes glazed over, "I belong to you, now."

Shalee furrowed her brows. "You belong to no one." She pulled up a holo-display, watching the slave auction with interest, debating on going back inside to purchase more.

Valhiri sat placidly as ordered. "Shall I fetch you some water? Or something else? Please tell me what you'd like?"

Shalee trailed her hand through her hair, "No, nothing, thank you." She pulled off the oppressively hot robe and tossed it over the back of a chair. Beneath it she wore long white pants tucked into boots, with a thin white shirt.

"You're very pretty, miss. I'm glad you bought me. I'll do my best to make you happy."

Shalee bit on her bottom lip in thought, watching the holo. She flicked her gaze over to Val, "How long have you been captured?"

Val frowned in thought. "A while. I'm not sure. I was scared, at first, but now I know there's nothing to be afraid of."

"I am Shalee, by the way. We haven't been introduced properly. And I am not your owner. There are some of us here who have come to rescue you and as many of the others as we can."

The drugged girl smiled again, "That's a nice word. 'Rescue'. You're a nice person, miss, I can tell."

Shalee smiled warmly in return. "You seem nice too. And cared for. This is a big operation to rescue one person. A lot of people are at risk."

"Oh. I hope no-one gets hurt."

"Everyone seems more than capable."

Valhiri hesitated, "I thought I saw Amieta, before ... is she here?"

"Yes, she is."

"I like Amieta. She's a good friend. I'm not supposed to be friends with my patients, but I am with Amieta."

"Oh, that's right, you're in medicine?" Shalee asked.

"I'm a shrink. I shrink people's heads." Val giggled.

"That's what people say."

Shalee laughed as well. "Oh. Well I like mine the size that it is, so hands off."

Gunfire erupted in the market, the sound echoing though the live feed. Shalee frowned deeply, tensing, as she watched, worried for those who were still on the ground, fighting it out.

"Would you like me to massage your back, miss?" Val asked, noticing Shalee tensing up.

She shook her head, "No thank you." She listened for a moment, knowing that it was almost over. The cacophony of screams, bullet fire, and general chaos flooding through the comms overwhelmed her. She quickly turned it off and started to pace the cabin anxiously. "I'm sure they will let us know soon...I can't bear to hear anymore of it."

Valhiri looked sympathetic, "Would you like me to distract you? I could sing to you, if you'd like?"

"No no, Valhiri. You mustn't do anything at all for me. I don't own you, it was all a ruse, okay? You're not a slave. Perhaps in time, we could become friends."

"I'd like that. I like being friends with people."

"And take with you the knowledge that not all Amarrians are the same. That not everyone believes in slavery, and that there are some out there who are fighting against it." Shalee looked at her, hoping she would remember, knowing the votixin was likely going to fuzz her memories of the whole thing.

"I used to hate the Amarrians. But now I know that all people are kin, really. We need to love each other." Val said.

"Hate the institution of slavery, even if some Holders do it for the 'right' reasons. Or at least they think they do. But not everyone buys into that dogma or practices such faith any longer. Things are changing in the Empire, slowly but surely."

Before either of them could say anything else, sirens erupted throughout the ship as five hostiles warped in, followed by seven ministry ships. Explosions lit the sky outside the view port as the battle now engulfed them.

"Pardon my Gallente here, but I think it's time we get the fuck out of here...." The ship rattled as another explosion slung debris at the transporter.

She commed the ground crew, "Uh hey...unexpected change of plans, we've a fleet battle going on around us up here..." The power flickered inside the cabin.

Anxiety coursed through her, "We should be in warp now....oh my god why are we not in warp?" She fell to her feet as the ship trembled again.

"Esna!" she commed frantically.

"Shalee, I'm heading to the docking bay at the station. I'll be inbound on the Firefight momentarily."

Her voice took on a higher pitched tone, "I don't know that we have a moment!" Another explosion lit the sky as the cabin went dark.

"Oh god, we are out of cap..." It was the worst feeling in the world, to be a passenger while someone else captained the ship you were flying aboard.

Her gaze met Vals and she tried to appear calm despite the growing fear that any second would be their last.

"Undocking. Shalee, I'm aligning to warp, slaving my navicomputer to your location. Estimate three-zero seconds to arrival."

Over the comms, prayers were being muttered. Shalee offered one up as well, bracing herself for the moment of impact.

Suddenly Esna appeared next to Shalee's transport, the colossal bulk of the Archon-class carrier dwarfing the drop ship. Streams of armor repairing nanites shot out to friendly ships, while a wave of ECM drones hurtled toward what remained of the hostile fleet.

The transporter finally lurched into warp.

The following day a blurb flashed across the streaming feed of galactic news. "Accidental fire erupts in Avair Slave Market. Thousands presumed dead."

OOC

2010-11-13T17:36:00.000-05:00

(( am starting an ooc blog, for randomness. here ))

Entry 118: Blood and Stars

2010-11-10T18:29:00.003-05:00

A bright explosion engulfed the Otelen star gate in Houla seconds after she jumped her Harbinger into system.

Foolish, foolish girl.

She hadn't checked intel. She hadn't asked for a scout.

It was almost automatic, running the pipe from Amarr to Huola. All systems save for one, the final destination, high security. Safe, usually.

Her thoughts were distracted and she simply hadn't paid attention until it was too late.

Bahamut flashed on her overview as she realized six other hostiles were in system.

Fucking lovely.

Holding her cloak, her body tensed as she assessed the situation. No friendlies in system either. Of course, that'd be her luck. She'd passed on a patrol with some of her guys so she could move some things down to the front. No doubt they were several jumps out.

Seconds ticked away as she held cloak, waiting for her chance to burn back to the gate. It would be most likely impossible since she had a fair distance to cover, no microwarpdrive, and two other reds showing on short range d-scan. Fuck.

Inside the corridors of her unnamed ship, crew members were rushing to the escape pods as the klaxons roared and the lights dimmed. Engines were failing as her cap was being drained.

She offered up a silent prayer, hoping that at least some of them made it out before the final explosion.

Hopeless. That's what I should have named you, old girl, she muttered to herself as Triplesol's missiles tore into the hull, ripping it to shreds, delivering the final blow.

Her senses dulled for a nano second as she disconnected from the harbinger. In that moment, a thousand images flashed through her mind at once, a collage of what was happening from a hundred different perspectives. Awareness from each fighter drone deployed, from every camera lens aboard her ship, and the ones mounted from the outside all gelled together, manifesting in a fluid, linear memory of the event.

"Warp, warp, warp!" she yelled a steady cadence, hoping that her pod would maneuver through the sea of scrap metal, rolling smoke, and debris.

Blood splashed across the camera lens as she started to warp through a sludge of floating bodies, unfortunate crew members who hadn't made it to the escape pods.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered, feeling a tightness in the pit of her stomach.

Later, inside her hangar in the 24th station of Huola, she reviewed the recorded footage of what had happened. Mostly a small gang of Ice Fire Warriors, including LP McDuffs and Rothgr Bronn with a few others she vaguely recognized had taken her down with ease.

"Goddammit," she uttered as she killed the video, sitting in the dim light, absently biting on her dog tags.

She tried not to think of the countless crew members that had been lost out of her sheer negligence.

Her reverie was interrupted by light flashing inside the room as an explosion lit up the hazy blue sky outside the station. Her gaze drifted to the floor-to-ceiling glass wall in time to see the scattered remains of a frigate drifting just before it was salvaged.

"Dumb bastard," she rolled her eyes. No doubt Heretic's Army sniper pilot, Lukka, was on the hunt again. When he'd first arrived on the scene weeks ago, she'd spent a fair amount of time trying to catch him. When that failed, she'd resorted to camping her own station to keep him from harming other pilots who naively thought they were safe in a frigate or pod.

Others had joined her from time to time in 'guarding the station', but after so long she'd given up and spent her time back on the war front, hoping that the 24th would have learned by now.

Obviously not.

Her crew chief commed her, "Lukka's on the prowl again. I'd suggest delaying your trip to Amarr."

"Yeah, okay," she answered as she paced over to the glass, "I'll make a run early morning, hopefully things will be settled down by then."

"The war goes live in less than twenty hours, just as long as you do it before then."

"Yup, understood." She flicked the comm off as she leaned against the glass, watching the sky as a handful of battlecruisers landed within the station's docking range, one of them Zverofaust.

Her nose wrinkled as a look of distaste etched her delicate face.

Zverofaust. The bane of the Amarr Militia. A former Minmatar freedom fighter, the turncoat had switched sides no doubt to spread discord among the Amarrians. Within months of his joining LOCUS, he had managed to convince them to wardec at least six loyalist corps.

The Knighthood's turn had come, of course.

She was certain it was because of her.

At first he had tried to be charming though she never really trusted him. Once she'd learned of his true nature, his declarations of love and adoration turned to public scorn in an attempt to humiliate her.

He would stop at nothing, say anything just for her attention in any way he could get it.

His love-hate obsession for her was disturbing. He would deliberately try to provoke her or anyone who was remotely close with her.

She'd encountered strange pilots before but he had to be one of the worst. As disgusting as Torus Nunn from the 8th order was, who claimed to rape her corpse, she'd rather be locked in a room with him for a week than spend one minute alone with Zvero.

She shuddered.

Weeks ago, she accidentally discovered his non de plume, FW Reporter, a name he wrote under for the FW Report, a supposedly 'independent media site for all things Faction Warfare'.

"Independent, my ass." she muttered to herself.

Once he found out she knew, he tried to bully her into leaving her beloved militia. She refused and he threatened her, telling her she'd 'suffer the consequences'.

Less than two weeks later the Knighthood was declared war upon by LOCUS.

A civil war ensued.

Entry 117: God's Will

2010-11-01T21:34:00.005-04:00

She walked along the catwalk of her hangar in Kourmonen, watching as her crew readied her newest Abaddoned class battleship, the Beautiful Dangerous.

Already tuned in to the militia and various other intel channels, she listened as the Amarr started to rally to engage a roaming fleet of Minmatar.

Half of the fleet was several systems away and others were refitting their vessels, so she took her time getting into pod. She stretched languidly, rubbing the back of her neck as she paced along the metal grating, heading towards the pod station.

A holodrone activated with an incoming transmission. She accepted as she leaned against the railing, her blue gaze scanning across the hologram of an Amarrian.

"Greetings and Salutations Former Praetorian." He smiled.

"Greetings." She looked at him curiously, trying to place the face or voice. He knew that she'd been a praetorian, but that wasn't exactly a secret. Any pod pilot could access her public file.

"Do you have a few moments to speak, or do other matters require your attention?" He asked.

"I can speak," she replied as she checked his public file.

"Allow me to take a moment to introduce myself. My name is Milan Skrlec." He rolled his r's.

"A pleasure. Shalee Lianne." But obviously you already know that.

"No rank or title Ms. Lianne?"

"Commodore."

"Ja. Commodore. I knew you would go far, I just always thought it'd be with PIE. However, I am glad that your path has been ordained to travel contrary to my expectations."

"You know of me because...?"

"Because I mentored you in PIE. Before I went underground with the Jovians... and before they stuck me in this... new body." He smiled.

"Michael?!" Her face lit up as she started towards him, as if to hug him. She stopped short, dropping her arms to her side.

"In the flesh... so to speak."

"Oh god, it's been so long. How are you?"

"Quite well. Given that I'm someone else now. I hear that my old body was sold off to someone and they're spending a wonderful amount of time in low sec mining the hell out of veldspar. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to afford a brain with better skills... so I get to start my career and life from scratch."

"Mining? How dull."

"A body wired for combat and he decides to prance about asteroids."

She continued to grin, "I am so happy to hear from you! I've thought about you often."

"Have you really?" He blushed. "I have to admit the same."

"I have, of course. I can't believe this...I thought you were dead."

"So did I. I've learned alot about faith.... about death. About many things. But surely that's rather dull. I'm going to guess that you left PIE because of Faith. And since we can't die that's also a pointless topic. I actually contacted you for several reasons."

"Tell me."

"One. I know you. You're safe and I can speak with you about anything. Two: You have a bounty on your head. Three: I and another wish to join you in having bounties on our heads as well." He smiled again.

"Ours?" she questioned.

"A friend, he just graduated the Academy today. His name is Monamarth."

"You're coming back to the warfront?" she asked, pleased by the thought of having him near once again.

"Depends on which war we're fighting. Amarr and Minnies?"

"But of course."

"I hear that you're a very influential person in your Corporation. I don't want to muddy your dress so to speak." he said.

"I don't know what you know of us, really. We are small. But yes. A Director. It's just Aldrith Shutaq and I who run things."

"Aldrith!? That old rat!" He laughed, "Wonderful news! It's just the two of you?"

"That run things, yes."

"Will you admit those who are not Amarr?"

She nodded, "Yes, of course."

"I graduated the university two days ago, he just today. Our skills are nowhere near what's needed for the fight."

"That doesn't matter. We would love to have you."

"I would be honoured to join again."

"How exciting. This is such wonderful news. Just send in an application, have your friend do the same."

"Where are your offices?"

"Huola, and Amarr. Though these new pod interfaces allow you to join from anywhere."

"I admit, I don't recall many things. I remember teaching classes to new recruits the basics of space combat... but I don't recall the material. I can't remember much of the interfaces, much of fighting in space.... I've been away too long."

"Then it is I who will be your mentor. Fitting, I think."

"Agreed."

"I'm going to speak with my friend and make sure that this fits in with our long term plans."

"You know. I remember those days, coming out of the Academy. It was daunting." she said.

"Especially more-so now. There's much more to take in all at once." he agreed.

"Let him know I will be sympathetic to that and will work with him personaly if he should like."

Milan seemed distracted for a moment, "I see that your dossier has become rather interesting. You're friends with Verone?"

"Yes...I am friends with him." She frowned suddenly, "Or something like that. It's complicated. Anyhow I have to cut this short, I'm needed out on the front. I would very much love to see you, do come to Mercy's Keep on Amarr, we will catch up soon."

She killed the connection as she headed inside the medical lab to be readied for her pod. Jonathon, her chief pod technician, gave her a curious look.

"Something bothering you Commodore?"

She shook her head, "Not really... just an omnious feeling." She threaded her fingers through her hair, taking a calming breath. "I need to shake this off, I can't go into battle feeling like this. Too many lives are at stake."

He gave her a reassuring smile as he started to connect her to her pod, "God's will be done."

She nodded as she felt the ambiotic fluid filling her pod. Her senses heightened, awareness tingling throughout her body as she became suspended in liquid, her consciousness melding with the electronics of the ship.

Over comms, Eran had given the order to undock.

The abaddon eased into the darkness of space.

Twenty minutes later an explosion lit the Auga stargate as the battleship was ripped into a thousand pieces. Six thousand crew members dead.

God's will be done.

Entry 116: Blood Moon

2010-10-30T20:59:00.002-04:00

Powder blue silk fabric wrapped around her torso and fell in soft folds to her ankles. Her shoulders were bare save for the loose, pearl encrusted straps that drooped against her upper arms. Her long hair had been curled and pinned up with matching pearl and diamond clips.

Around her neck she wore a necklace that cost more than the slicer's she flew.

A soft, warm breeze ruffled the hem of her dress as she crossed the walkway, moving towards the steps of the Imperial Opera House.

A thrill of excitment coursed through her as she glanced about, searching the crush of people who were lingering about, dressed in an assortment of silks and satins, jeweled, powdered and perfumed.

Gods she loved the Opera.

She'd always been seduced by the atmosphere, the elegance, the beauty of it all. And then there was the show itself, the music, the scenery, the stories.

It was rapture, it was bliss.

And tonight's performance would be especially intriguing because she hadn't a clue who invited her. Earlier, she'd received an invitation along with the dress and jewels, her ticket and directions.

She ventured several guesses though none seem to quite fit. Raphael had taken her to the opera once long ago but the last time she'd spoken with him, he'd made it clear that he pretty much loathed her. She mentally crossed him off the list, then considered Eran. He would be the type to suprise her but she doubted he would feel comfortable among the imperial nobles.

A whirlwind of silky colors bled together as the breeze picked up again. Laughter and conversation filled the night time air as everyone waited for the doors to be opened.

She thought of her friends who might have invited her. Aldrith perhaps. No doubt he'd enjoy the finery and music as much as she would, but he wouldn't send her costly jewels or make such a mystery of things.

Strolling around, she searched the crowd, trying to find the one who invited her. Other names crossed her mind but they didn't quite fit either. Alexander perhaps? Though they were becoming such good friends, it didn't make sense for him to send her jewels either. Predator maybe. He'd spent enough on her over the past few months that a few diamonds wouldn't be out of place. However, she wasn't certain he would be the type to enjoy an opera.

She shook her head no to him, then thought of others.

Invelious, maybe. She could easily imagine that this would be his type of scene. Imperial, rich, cultured. He would be in his element here. And he was fond of mystery, intrigue, and beautiful things. Just as she decided it must be him, she frowned, remembering he was off in null sec.

Sighing to herself, she let her thoughts settle on Verone for a moment. He certainly could afford it, and would be the type to throw isk around on jewels and clothes...but would he come to Empire? If he did, it would be to prove a point.

Perhaps he wanted to apologize, really apologize for the things they had fought over.

Just as she had settled upon Verone, a hand wrapped around her arm.

She turned, expecting to see the overly tall gallentean, "Apology accep-" she gasped. "Kathetel..."

"Expecting someone else?" The Imperial Agent smirked to her.

"Any one but you," she said dryly as she attempted to jerk her arm away.

His dark eyes lit with warning as he kept his fingers wrapped firmly around her arm. "Smile and look enormously pleased to see me," he whispered as he lead her through the crowd.

Once they stepped through the opened doors, the house lights flickered several times, warning the patrons they had but ten minutes to find their seats.

He guided her to a private alcove, leaning over to whisper against her ear, "You've been assigned a new mission."

"What? No. I don't work for you!"

He squeezed her arm, "Calm down," he warned. "This is one assignment I think you'll enjoy."

She looked at him skeptically. "Go on," she whispered with reservation.

"Your Father has escaped. We assume he will eventually find his way to your brother, Keon."

Her Father, once a wealthy holder and distinguished member at the royal court had openly defied the Empress's proclamation of emancipation. He had made his fortune upon slave trade and would suffer from the decree.

He was arrested on charges of treason and heresy plus countless other minor charges. Being of noble birth saved his life though he would spend his remaining days in prison.

She paled from the news. "I don't know why you're telling me this...I left that life behind. I don't even know where Keon is...they are all but dead to me. You should know that...so I don't know what I could even do."

"Easy, really. Your task will be simple. You will seek out your brother and make amends, gain his trust, and when your Father shows up, we will handle the messy details." He winked at her, "That is, unless you'd rather do it yourself. I remember how you enjoyed Hadrien..."

Hadrien. Her youngest brother. The memory hit her suddenly. Blood everywhere, drenching her pale white hands, rolling down her wrists, splattered against her face. Standing in a pool of it, his lifeless body sliced into a hundred pieces or more.

She closed her eyes, feeling faint.

He slid an arm around her waist to steady her, "Come now, enough of that. You kill thousands every day, don't get hung up over one little death." He looked at her sharply, "Straighten up now, we've an opera to see. Blood Moon. I thought it fitting..." He suddenly smirked.

Entry 115: Rushing Anka

2010-10-19T17:31:00.002-04:00

Intel had been reported by Admiral Mitara Newell just as their small fleet of seven or eight pilots jumped the star gate, making their way towards Minmatar space.

A military complex had been scanned down in the system of Anka and currently was being fought for by General Sassawong of the Tribal Liberation Force.

"Eran, do you think we can make it?" she asked as she noted the time. It would be a close call.

"We will try," he told her then gave orders to the fleet to backtrack the four jumps back to Huola to reship in something smaller, anything that could activate the accel gate to get inside of the complex.

Minutes bled away as they made it to the 24th station and reshipped, though now they faced another four jumps to Anka.

"Burn best speed, hold on the accel gate."

Two minutes remained on the clock as the small fleet warped in. Sassawong was forced to retreat.

Though there had been a minor skirmish on the star gate as one of the late comers of the fleet was engaged and shot down, the complex was held by Amarr.

Four ships had been lost in the process, but it was a small price to pay to keep control of the system.

Anka was precariously close to falling. Every complex mattered.

***

The Keep was eerily quiet as Shalee made her way to the training room just before sunrise. She had been restless, unable to sleep, and wanted to work off some of her frustration.

As she stopped at the entrance, she could hear the familiar voice of the holographic instructor, Mikuela. With her curiosity piqued, she stepped into the room and watched as a Jacke Incarnate thrust his epee towards a holographic foe. Mikuela paced around him, giving critique on his stance.

As if sensing her presence, Jacke remotely froze the holographic instruction as he turned around to face her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you..." Shalee apologized.

"No one ever comes here at this hour," he said.

"I couldn't sleep." She moved over to a bench and dropped her workout bag. "You're...Jacke?" she asked, only vaguely remembering the boy, having little contact with the children of the Keep.

He looked at her with a steady gaze, "Yes. Jacke Incarnate."

"Right, of course." She felt uneasy without understand why. "So...you train every morning?"

"I do. I will have to be in the best physical condition if I want to get into the Navy."

"You're going to join the Navy?"

"When I am older, yes," he said with unquestionable confidence. "And then Capsuleer training after that. I want to be a fighter pilot."

"Well that is really admirable. We can always use more loyal pilots," she smiled.

"You need more people you can trust," he said eerily.

Her brow quirked, "That's an odd thing to say...especially from one your age."

"I'm almost eleven."

She stared at the Brutor boy who was already taller than she was. "Enjoy being a kid. Too soon you'll be an adult and wishing you were still young."

"But I'm not a kid."

"You're not an adult either," she responded in an argumentative tone, briefly wondering why she was even bothering to quarrel with a child.

"But I will be, soon," he said matter of factly.

"Yes, well soon isn't now."

"No, it is not," he said reasonably. "But still. You need people you can trust, people who wont betray you. That will be me." He poked his thumb towards his chest.

She lifted her brows again, "Oh is that a fact? How do you think you know so much about me anyhow?"

He gave a shrug. "People talk, I listen."

"Yeah well, you probably shouldn't believe everything you hear."

He turned his back to her as he swung his epee from left to right, slicing through an imaginary enemy. "I don't. But..."

"But?"

"Everyone knows about Zenton."

She sighed, "Right, of course. Everyone knows just how much of a fool I was to trust a man I loved, once." She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder as she headed for the door, having lost her mood to do anything. "See ya, kid."

He smirked as he looked over his shoulder, watching her disappear before he resumed his training.

Half an hour later, he jerked around as he heard one of the holo-drones activate. The image of a little girl appeared, smiling a dimpled grin, "Jacke!"

"Hey kid," he said as he smiled in return to the red-headed little girl.

She rolled her eyes, "You shouldn't provoke her, she is sad right now."

"Sad? Why?"

"Because something bad happened with Predator."

"What happened?"

She put her hands on her hips as she started to speak, "He made her mad because he was in Huola and they were sitting outside the big space station...it was her and Eran and Sabotage and CF Proctor." She nodded matter of factly as she told her tale, "And then two other space ships showed up! And they were part of Pred's new corporation. And Pred told them on comms that if there was a fight he was going to rep his corp friends!"

Jacke looked at her oddly, "Rep?"

"Repair their ship," she explained patiently, "With the big swirly lights!" She swayed her hands around.

"Oh, okay."

"So then, the bad guy shot at CF, and Pred did rep him, but he repped CF too. But it made everyone angry," she sighed a frustrated little sound.

"She doesn't trust him anymore?"

The little girl shrugged. "She doesn't know what to think. He's helped her a lot but...he is a pirate too."

"So she doesn't trust pirates?"

"Well..." her voice took on a higher pitched sound. "Not really, 'cept maybe one or two." She thought of Verone. "She knows Pred wont hurt her...but he's not the same person he was to her before."

"Well really, who is?" he asked seriously.

She grinned again, "Good point! So do you want to come play Empire with me!" The little girl looked at him for half a second before dashing off towards the exit, knowing he would follow. "Meet you outside! The last one out is a rotten..." The holodrone blinked off as she activated somewhere else in the Keep.

"Hey no fair!" he yelled out as he took off towards exit, "Cheater!"

Down the corridor her giggling could be heard just before another holo-drone deactivated.

Entry 114: Verone

2010-10-14T17:30:00.002-04:00

They stopped at the security checkpoint, manned by two huge Brutor Gurista guards. She glanced around nervously, looking at the bare steel walls. The room was illuminated with bright halogen lighting, giving the area a cold, clinical feeling. She shivered as she side glanced, looking to Ethan Verone as he spoke with one of the Brutors.

"Morning Jiko. Many to clean out?"

The brutor guard nodded, "Two, five, six, eight, nine, ten."

"Open her up."

Verone looked to Shalee as Jiko slid him a matte black .50 calibre pistol not too different from his own custom sidearm.

He took the gun and lead her toward the huge glass door as it opened with a hydraulic whine, ushering her into the coridoor.

She followed him in, her gaze falling upon the VETO corp crest at the far end of the hall. A feeling of nausea overwhelmed her, she wasn't sure if it was from having too much to drink at the Last Gate or the fact that she was standing in probably the most dangerous place in all of New Eden with the most savagely notorious pirate of all. Ethan Verone, CEO of the VETO corporation.

She probably shouldn't have said that she could do what he did. She had a bad habit of putting her foot in her mouth, and this time Verone wasn't about to let it go. He brought her to his interrogation cells as if to prove to her otherwise.

Apprehensively she stepped closer to him as he started to explain the set up.

"These are our cells, the ten to the left are holding cells, the ten to the right are interrogation suites... you're more than likely not going to like what you see."

Shalee glanced down to the gun then to Verone questionably, a feeling of dread coiling in her stomach. "I'll be fine." she whispered soberly.

Verone headed to the first door on the left, tapping in a long code to the lock, before the deadbolts fired open. "This guy is an Angel Cartel informant. We found he was working against us in our staff for over six months, feeding intel back to Curse."

He slid the heavy door open. The room was empty save for a heavily built Civire resting in the far corner, huddled against the wall. He was badly bloodied, the fingers and thumb of his right hand missing, his whole frame battered and bruised.

"I see," she said blandly, trying to keep her composure as she glanced into the room, her dark blue gaze locking on the Civire.

"We pulled him in, and he's given us valuable intelligence, to counter the surveillance that the Cartel has had on us. He'll probably die in this room of blood loss at some point, when we remove a few more body parts."

Sighing, he resealed the door. He moved to the second door and tapped in an entirely different code, clearly from memory as if he knew the place well.

"You think this is supposed to frighten me or shock me? I'm in a war Ethan, I know what happens to traitors."

He opened the second door without replying to her. A wiry framed Intaki sat in the center of the floor, in much the same condition as the Civire was, missing toes, fingers, and an eyeball that looked to have been crushed by concussion.

"This guy, worked as a crewman for one of our pilots for three years. He was finally rumbled trying to swap a vial of strong exile combat booster out for hydrogen chloride. It would have killed our pilot, and rendered his neural burn useless."

He leveled the pistol with the Intaki and squeezed off a round with a loud crack, the weapon kicking, and lighting up the room in an orange flash for a second as the Intaki's skull opened up across the floor.

Shalee stared at the man for a long moment, her gaze locking with his just before Verone killed him. She gasped in horror, not expecting the sudden violence.

Verone closed the door, the light above it turning from red to green as he tapped at the lock control.

Shalee offered up a silent prayer as the door closed and forced herself to follow after him, her eyes wide with shock, walking as if in a daze.

He shrugged as he passed by rooms three and four, "You don't want to see those."

He stopped at the fifth door and opened it in the same manner. The occupant, a young Brutor, no older than eighteen was sprawled out, breathing shallow as Ethan spoke to him, "Look at me."

Verone smiled and spoke quietly as the Brutor looked up to him, "Good boy. It's over now, thank you for your help." He squeezed a round off without hesitating, dreadlocks flicking around as the Brutor's head snapped back, flesh and sinew spraying the floor. He closed the door, the light above the door turning green.

"This is what I have to do, to protect my people." He seemed a little distant, removed. "The militias... they're a walk in the part. You shoot from a distance. You see a battleship explode in space, and don't really concern yourself that you just killed six thousand people. You just try and catch the pod. This? This is something else."

She glanced up to the green light, her eyes rimmed in red from crying, silent tears trickling down her cheeks. "You think I couldn't do this to protect those that I love?"

"I don't do this to protect people I love. I do this because it's what has to be done, it safeguards my business, and I get paid to do it, it's as simple as that."

"Understand, Shalee. This isn't a place you want to be," he sighed quietly.

She leaned against a door, arms folded across her chest, trying to stop trembling. "This doesn't frighten me. This? I could do this. I'VE DONE THIS." she said in a higher pitched tone, on the verge of hysteria.

"Why wont you listen to me..."

She lifted her chin belligerently, "Because..." Tears streaked her cheeks. Because you don't know the things I am capable of either. You don't know the things I've done, the things I could do again if I had to. She squeezed her eyes closed as she sniffled, a look of misery flashing across her face as she realized she couldn't shut out the cold brutality of what she'd just seen. Yes, she had done things in the past, horrible unforgivable things. But she had chosen not to be that person anymore. When given a choice in her life, she couldn't do those things. And he knew it, he must have known all along and that was why he brought her here, to make her realize the truth of who she really was.

...and who he was.

She blinked open her eyes as she felt his thumbs swiping across her cheeks, wiping away her tears. "Let's get out of here...I hate this place."

Entry 113: Her Own Betrayal

2010-10-13T19:28:00.003-04:00

His mouth pressed against her chin before he lowered his head, grazing his lips along her throat.

"Do you still love me?" she asked with uncertainty.

"I never stopped," he whispered as he kissed her lips softly.

He pulled the sheet lower, baring her pale skin, showering delicate kisses along her shoulder as he curled his fingers around hers, pushing them above her head. "I had almost forgotten..." He hovered above her, starring down at her.

"...forgotten?"

"Just how beautiful you are."

Her fingers tightened around his as she starred up at him, "Zenton...I can't do this again, I don't want to give you up again."

"I'll never make you give me up Shalee, not ever."

"I do love you so."

"I love you Shalee, more than there are stars in the heavens."

His mouth was on hers again, his kiss aggressive. Possessive. She could feel the weight of his body as he lowered himself onto her. Zenton.

Her mind was reeling as a thousand thoughts collided. Something was wrong. She pulled her mouth from his as she rolled her head to the side, "Stop..."

"You have nothing to worry about, you're safe."

"Zenton..."

Thunder rolled across the sky beyond the windows and for a moment the scene shifted. She was in her pod, flying across one of the Minmatar backwater systems, running from him. Fear coiled in the pit of her stomach. "Consider me KOS, Shalee."

The dream shifted again and in a flash she was back in bed with him.

His mouth was at her ear, whispering, "You have nothing to worry about, you're safe."

She gasped as cold realization slid across her face, "No...you said to consider you kill on sight....you betrayed me. You killed me, you have betrayed us all...you...oh god you hunt me every night. You try to kill me...oh god..." She was struggling in his arms, trying to push him off of her.

Thunder crashed outside again, this time waking her. She jolted up in bed and stared around the empty room, her heart thudding loudly as the emotions of the dream lingered. Love, loss, and betrayal.

Sleet pelted against the window panes and occassionaly the dark sky would flash with lightning. She sat there, arms wrapped around her knees after pulling them to her chest, listening to the storm raging and the fireplace crackling.

Minutes passed before she could fully push the dream from her mind. "God damn him," she muttered under her breath as she reached for her neo comm to do some work, desperately needing to drown herself in the mundane to keep from thinking about it.

She flipped through her mail, not really concentrating, her thoughts all over the place. She barely noticed the notifications from Concord. Down another war dec.

"Couldn't handle the pressure of us fighting back huh," she said to herself as she reread the retraction.

The Knighthood had taken the fight to the Templars, staging a daring bash against their POS inside of a random wormhole. Her pilots had managed to utterly humiliate the CEO of the Templars by having one of his few remaining members betray him during the fight. With the help of Omnicide Incarnate and Condor Amarr from PIE, the POS was destroyed the next morning.

As their POS fell apart, so did their corporation.

The following night her guys had managed to station camp one of the True Slave pilots in Amarr, frustrating him to the point of him withdrawing their war dec as well.

One by one they withdrew from the fight until the Knighthood was only at war with Star Fraction. Knowing that things were about to get really complicated for the nefarious Alliance, she wondered how long it would be until they were withdrawing their war as well to concentrate elsewhere.

With a sigh, she turned off her neocomm, leaving the rest of her mail untouched. She stood and paced to the window, trailing a hand through her long hair. The dream continued to haunt her. She couldn't quite shake off the feelings of betrayal, of confusion.

"Why?," she whispered to herself, already having an inkling of why.

It had been a complicated affair.

Her thoughts drifted to the weeks before she had met Eran. Technically she was still engaged to Raphael though she hadn't seen him in months and had no word of him. The engagement was all but in name by that point.

And suddenly Zenton was there again. Suddenly he was everywhere. Flying with her, meeting her in random places for drinks and long talks about everything under New Eden.

Perhaps she depended upon him too much, needed him too much.

So many memories played through her mind. Things he had said, things she had confessed.

And then there was Eran. At first he was nothing but a target, someone the Empire had sent her to convert by any means necessary. She hadn't meant to fall in love with him.

In the process she pushed Zenton out of her life and now she was paying the price for it. Whatever he did to her now, she probably deserved. Or worse.

Entry 112: Pirates & Saints

2010-10-07T21:36:00.004-04:00

(Two days ago..)

Evening sunlight illuminated her lithe form as she stood with both hands cupped around the hilt of a custom built, .50 semi-auto pistol.

The light caught on the embedded gems that formed the KOTMC logo and splashed a prism of color across her face. She squinched her eyes and turned, quickly taking aim at a target across the snow covered field.

Sound exploded as she unloaded fourteen rounds of armour piercing into a makeshift dummy that she'd nicknamed Zenton the Bastard.

As she reloaded the clip, a sound behind her caught her attention. She turned swiftly with the gun aimed steadily.

"Goddammit, don't sneak up on me like that," Shalee snapped.

"S-sorry," Brystal studdered.

"It's alright. So what's up?" Shalee asked as she lowered the gun.

"We've another war dec."

"Oh? So what are we up to now, five?" She rolled her eyes, "So who have we pissed off now?"

"They call themselves Templars. The previous corp of our newest recruits."

"Oh. A Caldari Militia corp war deccing us? That's interesting. Any idea why?" Shalee asked.

"I haven't found out yet, just got word, thought I'd come tell you."

Shalee nodded. "Thanks. I'll speak with the recruits later, see if I can figure out what is going on."

Brystal hesitated, looking as if she wanted to say something. Shalee stared at her, waiting for her to leave. When she did not, she sighed, "What? You want to say something, so say it," she said with an impatient tone.

The blonde Gallente dropped her gaze and clasped her slender fingers together. A moment of silence hung between them as she gathered up her courage, "...some of the pilots are worried."

"About?"

"There have been some rumors...about Aldrith missing. Some are saying that maybe VETO has something to do with his disappearance. That you must know something about it because you've suddenly barred VETO pilots on the premise."

"Oh for fucks sake. I did that because one of the VETO pilots almost killed Math'ra Hiede outside our front doors. Once I have word from Verone that it has been handled, then I'll lift the ban. But not until then," Shalee said.

Brystal nodded, "Perhaps you should issue some kind of statement to the corporation."

"I will. Any other gossip I should be aware of?"

"Non...well..." Brystal hesitated again, hating to be the bearer of bad news. "Raphael has stopped logging flight hours and...well."

"Let me guess. That is my fault too? I assure you that if Raphael cannot find the time or dedication to serve the Empire that is no fault of my own. I am not responsible for him."

"I know." Brystal shrugged demurely. "I just thought you'd like to know."

"Sure. Thanks."

Shalee turned, waiting to hear Brystal's waning footsteps crunching in the snow before taking aim at the makeshift dummy, renaming it Raphael the Jerk as she unloaded her frustration in the form of fourteen precise rounds into the target's crotch.

She reloaded and fired again as the conversation with Raphael ran through her mind...

***
"I want to know what I am to you. Why, when I'm the one who's hurt you the least, I'm treated the worst." Raphael asked, standing in front of her in the Keep's cathedral, arms crossed.

"You're not treated 'the worst'. But you want things I cannot give right now."

"When can you?"

She eyed him curiously. "You want me to give you some time that I can commit? It's not going to happen like that, I don't know if I ever can commit to anyone anymore."

His face flashed with fury, "I didn't do a goddamn thing to you! I walked out of that cabin because you greeted my return with news of your sleeping at Zentons. And you...." he shook his head, almost speechless, "you put it on the same level as Eran's aiding the enemy's efforts against you and Zenton's destruction of your property. What is wrong with you!?"

"I do not. But things have changed..." She whispered with frustration.

"Yes, things have changed. You have no sense of gravity or responsibility any more. I don't even know who the fuck you are anymore," he accused.

She widened her eyes, her temper elevating, matching his own. "The fuck I don't have a sense of responsibility? I have been busting my ass keeping this corp together while fighting this war!How dare you say such a thing. How dare you."

"And look what's happened! Reds prancing about our very headquarters, ex-milita members hunting our Knights. A very fine job you've done!"

She glared at him. "The rules of the Keep have been set by our CEO, that is not my doing, and how dare you blame me for Zenton war deccing us!"

"Don't give me that shit, Shalee. I know you share his views of who should be alllowed in. Hell, he wanted fewer reds in there than you did! What about Muskells? He left under your supervision and now hunts us the very same."

"You don't know anything at all. I'm the one who has tightened the security here. God, you're pathetic, and if you really believe I'm doing such a poor job then leave."

"And now you're making a goddamn mockery of yourself for the entire cluster to see!" He said, showing her his datapad of her recent words on the IGS.

She rolled her eyes.

"That's exactly the response I expected from you. You used to have some self respect, and people could respect you. Now you've just made yourself a goddamn sideshow for all to enjoy."

Her face flushed with hot anger as she looked away, "Go to hell."

"Is there no part of the woman I fell in love with left in there?"

"Stop living in the past, Raphael."

"The past is the only place where you're not a goddamn joke anymore."

She stared at the stained glass window across the room. "If that's what you really think of me....then I don't know why you are even here."

"I came here because I thought I could get you back, thought I could stop you from going down this road you're travelling. When Eran betrayed you, he betrayed you, I thought that was my chance. But like an idiot you went running back to him. You let him back in, and now taunt me with his very presence. I didn't do anything close to what he or Zenton did, yet I'm the one being trampled into the dirt. You told me you loved me, but I mistakenly believed that it was the kind of love you used to have for me, and not the love you have for your favorite pair of shoes. I'm tired of the way you've treated me, the way you're treating me now, and you're non-answers and lies. I did nothing, nothing, to deserve what you've done to me."

She tilted her chin up defenisvely as her eyes watered, though she did not cry. "How dare you speak to me like this," she said in a very low voice. "You are so god damned selfish, I can't believe you are even saying such a thing to me, after all I have given to this Empire. To this war. To this corp. To you. I gave myself to you and you fucked it up and I can't let it go. Yes I love you but I've said all along that I'm NOT going to be involved in another relationship. Not exclusively, not with you."

"The only thing I fucked up was coming back. I should've known then that you were goddamn insane. And now you lend yourself out to whoever catches your fancy, making public offers for sexual liasons. The woman I fell for is dead. Gone. And you are still in a relationship. I can't go 2 jumps without hearing you called "Eran's woman." But go, you two deserve each other. He betrayed everyone and you betrayed me. The two traitors, together forever."

She shoved past him and stormed toward the exit, yelling as she pushed the doors open, "You're a goddamned bastard." She looked over her shoulder at him, "You don't have the slightest fucking clue about anything."

The door slammed behind her.

Entry 111: Zenton's Betrayal

2010-09-29T01:03:00.002-04:00

Hofjaldgund

She'd entered the military complex alone knowing that he was there, she'd just picked him up on directional scan on the accel gate. Federation Navy Comet. Zenton Karvash.

The first man she'd ever loved.

Zenton.

Not an hour earlier he had sent her a message asking to meet her in a bar they used to frequent.

Surely he wouldn't harm her, not while she was alone. Not when he'd have to know all she wanted was to take the plex, not to fight him. Surely he knew.

"Get out of here."
"I'm just here for the plex."

She'd started the burn towards the 'button' only to have him close in on her. It confused her but she wasn't afraid. Not of Zenton, not the man who once told her he would never hurt her, no matter what.

The alarm sounded and she was being warp scrammed before she even realized that he was not going to let her near it.

"Fine. I'll leave", she told herself. She tried to align to the nearest stargate and warp but he hadn't let up.

Was he teasing her? Was this some kind of joke to him?

No.

Cold reality slid down her spine as she watched chunks of armor peel off the sides of her slicer. Seconds later he was dipping into her hull and before the shock fully set in, there was a bright explosion.

She finally had the bearings to at least warp out before he podded her as well.

Oh god Zenton what have you done...Why?

She was numb when she finally docked up in Lantorn, having travelled there by instinct.

A message flashed across her neocomm from him, "Consider me KOS."

Entry 110: Old Lovers & New Wars

2010-09-24T17:49:00.002-04:00

The young pilot exited the Imperial Hangar and made her way down the dimly lit corridors of the 24th station in Huola.

It was 'night'. Simulated, anyhow. There was no defining moment of time in space, no sunlight to mark the day, no sunset to bring upon evening, no soft moonlight to announce the midnight hour. She was likely to see at least ten sunsets falling across various planets during her patrols. She'd warp past a dozen or more moons while prowling for the enemy, and the stars, they were constant.

The halls were quiet despite the crush of pilots flowing down the corridors, some making their way to the hangars for morning patrols, others just getting off of duty.

She nodded to a few familiar faces of the militia, men and women she flew with almost nightly but barely knew out of pod. Tonight her expression was more curious as she really studied some of their faces, wondering which of them were being paid off by the Minmatar.

No doubt there were spies among those faces.

Probably some Star Fraction spies as well. She knew they employed a few, had proof of it when she'd said something in the militia channel about the annoying alliance and within a minute, her words were sent back to her with a message, "We love you too."

Not that she cared...much, anyhow. Of course it was a nuisance, but then again, that was the way of militia. There were a handful of people you'd trust with your life and the rest, you just prayed they weren't selling out the location of your fleet for a few ISK.

Despite all the subterfuge and betrayals, the Amarr Militia still managed to dominate the field more often than not.

She turned the corner and stopped off at a viewing area, slumping down onto one of the stiff benches and sat indian style while she pulled out her neo-comm, having a look at her piled up messages.

Frowning, she read each of the notifications from Zenton Karvash involving her personal standings with him. Once upon a time she would have never imagined that he could ever fire upon her, but now the grim reality of what they had become blinked in front of her.

Two notifications, the first setting her to terrible standings. A few hours later he had rescinded the terrible standings and marked her as neutral. Had he felt guilt? What was his intentions, anyhow?

The next message answered the question.

Hours after he'd changed her status, war was declared.

She frowned deeply. Zenton? At war with KOTMC. With her.

Zenton Karvash. Her Zenton. Memories crashed through her mind like a tidal wave. So many moments spent with him, so much love given, so much heartbreak taken. He had been her first love, a man who had taken her under his wing when she'd joined PIE, he'd taught her so many things. How to fly, how to trust, to love.

A feeling of dread overwhelmed her as she remembered...

"You were a murderer for pleasure and did it without remorse, you took pleasure in it...and then you left me and I thought we were over."
"I did ...and I don't know why.. I have no explanation. I had no remorse at the time but when I spoke to you ... the shame of what I had done caught me and I couldn't stay..."
"I wish you hadn't of left me.."
"I haven't left you..."
"What do you want Zenton."
"What do I want?"
"Yes. What do you want. From life...from me..."
"I want to spend it with you, and for us both to be happy no matter where we are. I love you Shalee ... you're all that matters in my life."

...and now he wanted to kill her? It made little sense. Granted they had drifted apart. She wasn't even sure when it had happened or why. Had it been because of Eran?

She tried to force him from her mind by reading the rest of her messages. Two other war decs, bringing the total up to four. Absently she read the reports from CONCORD and mentally dismissed them. Star Fraction declared war. Big deal, not like she wasn't already at war with them, her waning security status was proof of that. The other corp was unfamiliar, but after checking into it, she realized it was quite small.

Shrugging to herself, she skimmed through her personal messages. One from her missing CEO caught her eye:

Dear Shalee,
First I must apologize for my disappearance; I never expected to be gone so long, but alas it looks very much as though I will be trapped for much longer, lest I am granted some odd mercy by my current 'captors'. I have not truly been kidnapped so to speak but I may as well have been by most standards. I have limited time with which to access the galnet and have taken most of it to attempt to sort out most of the more pressing matters facing the Knighthood at the moment. I owe you an explanation, even if it is a brief and brutal one for now. Please, whatever I write here, do not yet repeat to anyone else, especially Mitara. I have already sent her a message promising to explain everything in the detail she deserves.

Simply put Shalee, I have been sent to war. Not what we do as capsuleers, but planet side. No stations, no ships, and no pod. I must be honest with you; I could very well die before I am allowed to leave. Should that happen, the Knighthood is yours to do with as you will. Take up the mantle of leadership or disband it, it is up to you, but you are the only person I can trust with the responsibility for now. I can only imagine how stressful this all must be for you, but as long as I am alive I will attempt to guide you through letters or comms.

Again, I am sorry for all of this, and I will attempt to explain what has happened more throughly next time I get the chance. Hopefully I'll be able to negotiate something with my leader so that I may get into space now and again and attend to pressing corporate matters, but there is no guarantee.

I have faith in you, Shalee. Be strong, for the whole Knighthood.
- Aldrith

She turned her neocomm off, leaving several messages unread. It was too much, far too much to deal with. Betrayals and possible deaths and all the added responsibility of the corp.

Stretching out on the bench, she turned her head and stared off into the inky darkness of space, trying to calm down.

Aldrith had faith in her?

"What the fuck am I going to do?" she muttered under her breath. "I can't even manage my own life, how can I suddenly be responsible for everyone elses in the corp?"

Entry 109: A New Threat

2010-09-10T16:49:00.004-04:00

She had warped to a random station in Kourmonen after a small skirmish on an accel gate with an enemy drake pilot. They would have had taken the drake down had it not been for ten of his friends coming to his rescue.

Pred and Mitara had lost their ships, Eran had lost his pod.

It was enough of a reason to call it a night. Plus she was already exhausted from a two night 'grind' out in null sec and the Bleaks to bring up her security status.

Maybe it was karma. She'd teased Sabo about his outlaw status and not even a day later her own had delved beyond negative two that would mark her as a dangerous criminal and keep her out of her beloved Amarr.

Huola had become a hotbed of activity lately with the Star Fraction moving into system and though they were not legally declared war targets, the Knights were encouraged to take them down at any given chance. Even if it meant taking a hit on their sec status.

KOTMC weren't the only ones in the militia who were suffering because of it. Others like PIE, DIA, and 1PG had been joining them on the grind during off duty hours.

Oh how she loathed SF. They were nothing more than vultures in her eyes, nasty little creatures that swept in to pick over kills. She had heard that during a carrier attack off the 24th station, SF were 300 off from the fight, watching until it went down, warping in at the last minute to 'whore' on the kill.

She had more respect for the Tribals than she did the SF. Apparently some of the Tribals felt the same way. She had found herself in a mixed fleet the one night with Minmatar and Amarr, all in a grand scheme to take down a few SF who were reported to be out and about.

The fight never came about due to SF's docking up, but never-the-less, the general feeling was shared by both sides. Star Fraction was an unwanted nuisance that no one wanted around.

Docking permission requested, docking request accepted.

She didn't even feel like going the one jump to Huola to her own apartment, instead she'd crash aboard the Captain's Quarters inside her Harbinger.

As she was getting ready to come out of pod, something in the local comms had caught her eye.

Silence iKillYouu "Shalee Lianne. I'm going to capture you....and Predator or Eran will have to save you."

She rolled her eyes. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic. How did the Minmatar even know of her friendship with Pred out of pod? How had it already become public knowledge. She could understand how they knew about Eran, but there shouldn't have been any connection between her and Pred. Not unless there were some kind of spies at the Keep when he visited, taking note of who she talked to. Who he had talked to.

It was psychological warfare at it's best. To unnerve her. To use her to get to Pred and Eran.

Once out of pod and after the showers, she made her way to her private quarters and slumped down on the bed, pulling out her neocomm. She ran a check on his callsign and found out the very basics of the pilot.

Silence iKillYouu
Current Corporation: Ice Fire Warriors
Sec Status: -1.6
Pod pilot since: 110.02.26
Rank in Minmatar Militia: Venge Captain
Total kills in Minmatar Militia: 1238

She wrinkled up her nose. Double her kills. A more experienced pilot who flew with the enemy 'late night' fleet. Not that she ever really remembered running across him before, but apparently she had. There were several records of him laying the final blow against her harbingers.

So what was a Khadid doing flying with the Minmatar anyhow? And how had she come to his attention specifically? What kind of game was he trying to play? Did he really mean to capture her. Hold her for ransom? Worse?

It was unnerving...but surely that was his intention.

"Well." she muttered to herself as she turned off her neocomm, her expression determined. "You're gonna have to catch me first..."

Entry 108: Impulsive Confessions

2010-09-09T18:03:00.005-04:00

"Why do you look so sullen?" she asked Predator Elite as he neared both her and Raphael as they sat by the fireplace in the Keep, having a drink after patrols.

Pred took a chair near them, "I just have a lot on my mind ... I might not stay."

"Understandable," Raphael said just before tipping his glass back, taking a sip.

"You should stay, have a drink," said Shalee as she smiled at Pred, not catching on to what he was really trying to say.

"Don't keep him from his duties now." Raphael countered.

Pred turned to Raphael, "Is it really understandable?

"That you have a lot on your mind? Of course." said Raphael as he finished off his drink and ordered another.

"Is something the matter, Pred?" Shalee asked, her expression etched with concern.

"Some .... friends are returning, and I may join them," Pred said as he motioned over the server to place his order.

"Invite them here? We can make a party of it," Shalee said, holding up her drink in mock toast. "The more the merrier."

Raphael looked at Predator curiously. "I take it they're not concerned with the Crusade?"

Shalee frowned suddenly. "...oh."

"They are not.... they are mercs." Pred said with a hint of uncertainty at how the news would be received.

She frowned even deeper, "Mercs."

Raphael Saint gave a silent nod.

Shalee Lianne shook her head in disbelief, "You're leaving the war to be a mercenary...."

Raphael whispered to Shalee. "He was always interested in ISK..."

"My purpose is to kill people, a merc is what I am," he said grimly.

Zoarial entered into the Hall and noticed a few people gathered around the fireplace. He made his way over, "Hey.... I'm probably gonna be shipping out soon, what do you say to one final drink before I go? For old time sakes? I may never see you again."

"You're leaving too?" Shalee's eyes widened.

Pred turned to Zoarial, "Leaving?"

Raphael shook his head. "Is Core Impulse falling apart?"

"Yeah I've been searching for different positions for a while now. I feel that I may have over stayed my welcome here in CORIM and it may be time..." Zoarial confessed.

"I don't blame you" Pred admitted, "Where are you looking?"

"Pirate alliance with null sec ties, not sure yet. Might stick here and solo for a bit but maybe it's time I find somewhere else and make a name for myself in this sandbox." Zoarial said.

She couldn't quite hide her disappointment. "I see. Of course. Of-fucking-course." She stood suddenly, glaring at them both. "It's all about ISK. Killing. Nothing else matters."

Pred turned to Shalee, "Isk has nothing to do with this."

"So...being protectors of the Empire just wasn't good enough?" Shalee said, hands on her hips, blue gaze hot and angry as she glared at them.

"Shalee no. It's not like that at all. I'm looking for a place to fly with friends and make a name for myself... and I can't do that here anymore." Zoarial took a sip of his drink, "Most of you guys have been great so I'll ask, what do you say to one final night of drinking before I decide to take leave?"

"Being a leader of the Amarr Militia matters. Do you even know how many pilots look up to the two of you?" she exclaimed.

"I haven't made my choice yet.." Pred voiced.

"Excuse me Shalee...but they don't look up to me, they never have. And as long as I'm in the shadow of this guy," Zoarial rested his hand on Pred's shoulder, "I'll never be..."

Pred turned to Zoarial, "You know I'm good for a drink."

Zoarial grinned, "Ah first good news all day." He called over a server.

"I'll drink with you," Raphael volunteered.

"Awesome. Please join us." Zoarial said.

Shalee laid her hand against her stomach feeling as if she couldn't quite catch her breath. "I can't believe this." She started to pace the room moving away from all of them, unable to believe how well everyone was taking the news. As if their departures wouldn't have massive consequences for the Amarrian militia.

"Shalee please... come sit. Nothing's in stone for either of us, but we both need things and I have run out of resons to stay. Not all of us have had you by our sides this whole time.... some of us have only had ourselves..." He dropped his head, "So please join us?

Pred paced over to Shalee and placed his hand against her shoulder, "It's alright," he whispered.

"It's nothing you haven't dealt with before, Shalee." Raphael replied.

Shalee tipped her chin up, looking Pred in the eye, searching his face as if some kind of comprehension could be found there, some kind of answers that made sense. "What are you looking for out there? What do you think you're going to find? You want glory? You already have it here. You want fame? How many people know you and admire you. You want ISK? You can make it here. You have everything here already."

"It's not about that Shalee."

"Then what's it about?" She asked, gazing at him with dismay. "Never mind. Whatever. Go. Just go, it doesn't matter. You're just like all the others." She said heavily.

Zoarial turned to Raphael, "I think this one is hitting a little closer to home."

Raphael responded wryly, "Not at all, you'd be surprised."

"Raphael you'd be surprised about what I know..." Zoarial said with a stern stare.

Raphael looked at Zoarial, taking that as a challenge. "Oh, versed in her history now, are you? I think you presume too much."

"I presume nothing, only interpret the results." He smirked to Raph then headed over to Shalee and Pred. "For god's sake man just tell her the truth, you owe her that much."

Pred glanced to Zoarial, "Not now."

"The truth? What truth?" She questioned.

"If not now, when? When it's to late? When we have left her and may never see her again? When is the time if not now?" Zoarial said.

Shalee looked from Zoarial to Pred, "Tell me what? What else could you possibly tell me? You've already broken my heart."

"I ... can't tell you here," Pred whispered.

Zoarial looked down, staring at the floor, "The truth Predator. Tell her the truth. If not for her then do it as a final good bye to an old wingman."

"Do you have a minute to talk in private?" Pred asked her.

She nodded, "Yes." She gave an uncertain glace towards Zoarial on her way out of the room, fearing something horrible. "Follow me," she said to Pred, leading him through the oak doors, further into the Keep.

***

Shalee led him into the turret, her personal chambers at Mercy's Keep, and closed the door once he was inside. Moving to a sofa by the window, she slid down onto it and waited as he took a seat beside her. She stared at him.

"Have you noticed that I act different when I am around you?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't think that you do, really."

"Well .... I like you," he confessed.

"Well of course you do. I like you too. We fly together so much..." She eyed him curiously, trying to relax, expecting more bad news.

"I might like you more then you think I do," he said, holding her gaze.

She looked looked at him for a long moment. "...how do you mean?"

"Well for starters... you remind me of my ex-wife."

She frowned suddenly. "Oh." She glanced down as she folded her hands together. "I see."

He looked disappointed, "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have brought that up," he tried to apologize.

"...No it's.. just...you say I remind you of someone else. And in the same breath you say you like me...is that why you like me? Because you miss her and think I am some kind of replacement?"

"No not at all. I like you because you are you."

"What does that have to do with you leaving?" She asked, staring at him, trying to make sense of it.

"I don't want to leave because of it."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"I have not said that I am leaving just yet have I?"

"But you're considering it....I just wish you wouldn't go. You've changed everything for me...I will be nothing when you leave."

"I'm just not sure how you feel," he said, searching her face.

"But you know I don't want you to leave, surely you must know that," she professed.

"Yes I know that ...but you have a good life here with the militia." He hesitated, "And Eran. I just feel like ...."

"...feel like?"

"I feel like you wouldn't take me and stay with Eran."

She tilted her head to the side, looking at him intently. "You want to be with me? Like that...? Like...in that way...like...you..and me...and we would..." She stuttered.

"As I said I should not have brought it up." He stood and paced to the other side of the room.

She quickly stood and followed him, "Pred it's just...unexpected. I never knew..." She exhaled a soft breath, thinking.

"I know which is why I should have never brought it up," she questioned.

"Are you saying that if I leave Eran and was with you...you would stay?"

"I would never force that choice on you," he admitted.

"But is that true?"

"I still may stay even if you stay with Eran," he answered softly.

She looked relieved, "Really? I want you to stay so badly...I really just can't imagine this war without you in it...or my life without you in it. If you leave everything will be different."

He turned to Shalee, "Everything will be alright," he uttered softly.

She shook her head, "No, it wont. Not if you leave."

"Why wont it be the same? The militia doesn't look to me anymore," he explained.

"Yes it does. You know it does. You have done so much for the militia."

"Perhaps... but I still feel like I should not have brought this up."

"To tell me you have feelings then tell me you are leaving most likely...I don't know what to make of it," she told him.

"I know ...that's why I was afraid of bringing it up. If not for Zoarial I wouldn't have."

"No...thank you for telling me...I just...I need to think about things," she said softly.

"I understand, and I am sorry for letting this out, for complicating things."

"It's okay...I just don't want you to ...like me, because of her."

"You have my word it has nothing to do with her."

"How long have you had feelings?"

"For awhile."

"But...why haven't you told me before?"

"I saw you ... you were busy and stressed beyond belief. I did not want to put more pressure on you."

Nodding, "Oh, I see." She neared him, closing the distance, and reached for his hand, curling her fingers around his, "You know that I have feelings for you too...I just need to think about things."

He tightened his fingers around hers while looking her in the eye, "Take your time and seriously think about this... I'll be waiting."

"I will." She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his very lightly before pulling away, "Don't leave militia," she pleaded.

He stared at her for a moment before releasing her hands and heading for the door, "I'll be waiting."

Entry 107: Personal File 9-04-112

2010-09-04T16:58:00.004-04:00

Personal Files.
9-04-112

It was just one of those nights on the war front. I really wasn't looking forward to patrols after hearing about the losses from day shift's fleets. With morale down, I knew there would be more chance of a suicide fleet and I really wasn't in the mood to lose a ship for the hell of it.

I don't mind losing, but I prefer not to hand the enemies easy kills and I'd rather have at least a chance of surviving.

I commed Sabotage from the hangar and asked if he was ready to head out but he pretty much had the same mood as I, so we decided to ditch the front for the night.

We ended up in shuttles and set course for the Eve Gate because he'd never been. We were expecting pirate gate camps along the way but it was a relatively quiet journey down, except for Concord chasing Sab through the Amarr and Sarum Prime. Aparrently Sab is now a criminal of some sorts, which I find highly amusing.

After exploring New Eden and the collapsed worm hole, we ventured out into the neighboring systems. Nothing much around those parts except for a black monolith. Sab seemed much more interested in it than I was. Really all I saw was an enormous black box of sorts but it was more profound for him, I think.

Oh well.

We started the journey back, stopping over in Ashab to check out some diner. We encountered a Khanid who was hiring some pilots to do a bit of grunt work. Any fresh-faced grunt straight out of the Academy could have helped the guy out, but..since we were there and had time to kill we said what the hell. We docked up in our shuttles and fitted up a couple of 'noob' ships with whatever we could find on the station market, then headed out.

It was easy enough work and after half an hour we left and headed out to Malkalen to see where a Nyx had crashed into an Ishukone station some years back during a peace summit.

Once I was back on the warfront I fleeted up with Templar, Riso, and Zik Kader from PIE for a while.

On the way back to Huola while passing through Auga, Kuan Yida invited me over. In local. In front of everyone. A part of me wanted to drop by but then I saw Veshta in local as well...

I told Kuan that I probably shouldn't. I don't know why it mattered really, it's not like I'm in PIE any longer or that Veshta could get me in trouble, if she even cared.

But still.

And lately there's some rumors circulating around about Kuan and I, just because I met with him once or twice. I don't understand it really. I think everyone is trying to turn him into the 'next Eran'. But it's not like that. He's not like that.

Entry 106: A Troubled Past

2010-08-31T17:37:00.003-04:00

"Did I wake you?"

Shalee shifted languidly, on the cusp of sleeping, "No. I was just thinking."

Nola, an older Brutor woman with skin the color of tobacco and eyes as dark as space settled down beside Shalee on the marbled steps, "I noticed you haven't gone upstairs yet."

"I just...haven't gotten around to it yet. I will."

"Take your time child, you capsuleers sure have plenty of it. Have you decided what you will do with this old place, then?" Nola swayed her hand, motioning to the plantation house.

"Not really. A part of me wants to burn it down. To torch the house, the gardens, the cathedral. But...that's really not going to solve anything at all, is it? It's not going to erase what happened here. It wont change anything."

"I imagine it wont. So why did you come back?"

"I'm not sure. I heard it was for sale...and... I don't know. I wanted to buy it and destroy it but now I think I want to save it. I've been thinking about maybe turning it into some kind of safe haven for newly free'd slaves."

Nola eyed her curiously, almost skeptically.

"The Empire is changing, Nola. The Empress's Emancipation to the Ninth Generation was just the beginning. A new world is on the horizon, one where the children of God are not judged by what blood runs in their veins, but by the sincerity of their hearts."

"You always were a dreamer, just like your mother."

"It's more than a dream. There are many in the Empire just like me who fight against slavery," Shalee explained.

"But you fight for the Empire in your militia do you not?"

"I don't fight for what the Empire is, but what it can become. Will become. The Empress will bring about a 'new age of light and reason'. I wholly believe that."

"I don't remember you being so devoted to the Empire when you were younger..."

Shalee turned her head and lifted her chin to the stained glass window pane, her face bathed in a kaleidoscope of light. "You weren't the only one free'd that day, Nola."

"What do you mean?"

"When the Imperial soldiers came and seized the property and arrested my Father, they set you all free...but I got my freedom too. During all the chaos...I ran away. I would have never been able to escape otherwise... I would have been a prisoner to him my whole life. I was just as much a slave as any Brutor or Intaki that he owned."

Nola nodded sympathetically.

"I owe her my life and I would do anything to repay that debt. So that is why I fight as hard as I do, that is why my loyalty to the Empire cannot be questioned nor doubted. She saved me and I owe her and I will fight and defend this Empire, her Empire, as long as she commands it."

"Your mother would be very proud of you, I'm sure. I see a lot of her in you. That rebellious streak, stubborn chin, those sparkling blue eyes and that mass of curly hair is all your mother."

Shalee absently ran her fingers along the staircase railing, "I can barely remember her."

"You were just a baby when she died. What were you, six or seven?"

"Seven. I had just turned seven."

"Poor soul, to die in childbirth."

Shalee winced at the lie. They both knew what really happened but some truths were too painful to relive. The lie was kinder, and really what did it matter anyhow. Dead was dead. "What was she like? Weren't you her maid even before she married my Father?"

Nola's gaze went blank as she peered into her memories, "She was beautiful....warm. She had a way of making everyone love her. She was like...like a bright light and everyone wanted to bask in her glow. When she married your Father and came here, this place came alive, they said. She enchanted everyone here, we all loved and adored her."

"...did he love her?"

"He?"

"My Father....do..do you think he really loved her?"

Nola's expression darkened. "It was love, or something like it," she said mysteriously.

"What do you mean exactly?" Shalee asked.

Nola seemed to hesitate, "It was a long time ago child, maybe you shouldn't be drudging up old ghosts."

"Please tell me?"

"Your Father was pure Amarr and though he was wealthy, your Mama's family was more so, even if they were Ni Kunni. Anyhow, he had met her at some ball or other and had fallen in love with her at first sight. He courted her, courted her parents and eventually they agreed to the marriage. He always was a charmer."

"Did she not want to marry him?"

"He was an older widow with three little boys. She was young and beautiful and Ni Kunni."

"It must not have mattered so much...?"

"She was Ni Kunni of the Old Realm."

"What does that mean?"

"Her family still practiced what the Amarr had tried to abolish all those years ago. In public they appeared to be the model of Amarrian faith...but they kept many of their old practices and customs alive, in secret mind you."

"So my mother...." her words trailed off.

"She followed polyamory. She was involved with two other men when her parents married her off. She had to give them up, of course, once she was married."

"Did Father know?" Shalee asked.

"He found out eventually...."

Shalee furrowed her brows, feeling as if someone had just walked over her own grave, "...are you saying...are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Nola twisted her hands together nervously as she looked over her shoulders. "Leave the past where it is." She stood up suddenly, "Now, let's go have a walk around the gardens, shall we? It's such a pretty day outside."

"Nola please, tell me the truth, I have a right to know why it happened."

The Brutor blinked several times, "Look. How should I know what really happened between them? All I can say is what she told me before she died. Your Father found out about the Old Realm long after you were born. But he became obsessed with it, of what she had done and who she had done it with. When she became pregnant...well. He went out of his mind, started accusing her of seeing her old lovers and...."

"...and he killed her and the babies she was carrying."

Nola nodded.

"He murdered her but he let me live....why?"

"I think that he tried to turn you into what he always wanted her to be. A proper Amarrian wholly devoted to him."

Entry 105: A Bad Day

2010-08-24T18:20:00.005-04:00

Static muffled Predator's voice over comms and all she heard was, "Take down the Hurricane."

The Heart of Huola II uncloaked and locked the nearest 'cane, raining down a storm of laser fire into the hull of Torus Nunn of the 8th Order.

"Focus fire, focus fire goddammit I'm going down."

Her target was bleeding into armor as the FC again called primary, "Xirusphere in the Hurricane, focus your goddamned fire."

Fuck. Wincing, she realized she had locked the wrong target and Predator would lose his ship because of it.

Pred's Myrmidon exploded as she locked up the primary, leaving her drones on the other. They managed to clear the field though she couldn't help but feel guilty over Pred going down.

"I'm sorry," she said as she docked up in top station to wait out her GCC, feeling personally responsible for his loss.

It had been a bad day and kept getting worse by the hour.

She rolled her eyes at the dip in her security status. Though it was far from the pirate's coveted negative ten, it was precariously close to making it impossible to enter Amarr.

Over the previous weeks she'd been in too many situations where she had to engage a target that was not clearly defined as an enemy by CONCORD's standards. Thus, she'd been flagged as criminal by CONCORD and had taken a few hits on her security status.

Not that she regretted it in the least. Her rules of engagement were simple. If a fleet member was taking fire, so would she. Her job in the militia was simple. To protect Amarrian sovereignty. Anyone who got in the way of that was an enemy in her eyes, despite what the unscrupulous CONCORD labeled them as.

The FC's she flew under regularly would never demand it, but if they asked for their pilots to take GCC she would always volunteer to do so. She had as much loyality to her commanders, Predator Elite, Zoarial, Jackman, and Invelious as she did to the Empress herself. And now her security status was suffering because of it.

Still disappointed with herself, she readied her Imperial Navy Slicer and headed out to the astroid belts of Arzad to blow off some steam and raise her stats a bit.

She'd left fleet and disengaged from voice comms, wanting nothing more than to be alone while melting a few dozen Sansha ships under her lasers. Over the few jumps from Kourmonen to Arzad, she mused over how relaxing it had become to kill. Mindlessly kill. Some pilots harvested rocks and 'roids, she'd harvest the hulls and blood of the fanatical Sansha.

Once she'd hit the belts, Raphael Saint commed her and asked if she wanted company. She told him no though he showed up in local anyhow, fleeting her up. Moments later her CEO, Aldrith Shutaq, joined them. The trio worked diligently to clear away the belts of both Sansha, pirates, and random war targets.

They returned to Huola after receiving intel that Huola was being invaded by an enemy fleet.

A defensive fleet composed of cruisers quickly formed to take on the Minmatar as they were fleeing they system. The Amarr pursued them to Auga, only to have them undock in battleships.

The Amarrian fleet retreated and reshipped. Moments later the two fleets engaged on the Kourmonen Huola stargate, though the Amarr were unable to hold the field even with the help of Eran Mintor's scimitar.

Orders were given to retreat and dock for the night.

Once inside her Apartment in the 24th station, she sat down with a glass of wine and her journal.

***

Tonight was a clusterfuck. Not only was I responsible for getting Pred shot down, I ended up in an engagement with Kuan and did fire upon him.

After our last meeting I thought maybe I'd be able to avoid such a thing...but with the FC demanding he be taken off the field, what other choice did I have but to lock him up and fire? I will not jeopardize the safety of an entire fleet for the misguided feelings of friendship I have for a Minmatar.

Though I did hesitate. Did that make a difference? In the heat of the battle, it is hard to say. Their fleet tonight was well organized and a lot stronger than I've seen them these past few weeks. As organized as we were, we still suffered losses and had to retreat.

I was hoping that after the battle he would initate comms, that he would tell me that he understood that I was only doing my duty...but I imagine he is very disappointed in me.

I don't even know why I care. He should be no one to me, nothing but a faceless name on my overview. A flashing target.

Nothing else.

When I had seen him last, he asked me if I trusted him.

I told him yes.

He then asked to train me.

I told him I would.

I shouldn't allow him, this enemy of mine, to get so close. To know me as a person. He is far more dangerous to me in the flesh than he has ever been in a vessel of war. Several times on the battlefield I've hesitated, I am distracted by his presence. I am failing in my duties to the Amarr ...and now I realize how hard it must have been for Eran.

I am mere 'friends' with Kuan and I am torn between loyality to a friend and loyality to the Empire.

It must have been so much harder for Eran, being torn between the woman he loved and the people he had vowed to protect.

I made a mistake with Eran and he pays the price for it every single day. My selfishness destroyed him....and I just don't want history to repeat itself.

Entry 104: The Aftermath of Betrayal

2010-08-19T16:18:00.004-04:00

Eran Mintor was sitting on a bench by the church looking at the steeple.

"Eran....."

He tensed as he heard her voice and turned slowly to face her, his eyes lit with fear. "Shalee..." He forced a smile, "....it's good to see you again."

She furrowed her brows as she tried to decipher the look of fear. "You were at the Gate...?"

"Yeah. Not for long."

"Why didn't you speak to me?"

He ran his hand up and down his arm as he looked at the grass, "...I wanted to, but what am I going to say?" He blinked a few times then lifted his gaze as he stood, beaming at her sheepishly, "You look beautiful...as you always have."

She tilted her head, back lit by the sun. "Thank you."

His smile melted into a frown, "....I miss you."

Her expression softened and as he frowned, "I miss you too."

"...Did you get my package?"

She nodded, "The slicers? Yes, thank you. It was very kind of you, though I don't think I should have them....I will just save them for you I think."

He frowned deeper as he shook his head, "They're yours now. They were never mine to begin with...called in a favor from a friend of ours. I'm sure she's happy that you have them." He pushed the hood from his head, revealing a lack of hair.

Shalee moved over to the bench he vacated and sat down, her hands folded in her lap.

"So...how have you been?" he asked.

She shrugged lightly, "Busy. At least trying to stay busy with the war and all." She glanced to his shaved head for the moment. "....and you?"

"I...I'm..." Eran winced briefly before putting on another forced smile, "I'm fine." His smile faded, "Shalee..."

"...yes?"

"Things will never be the same, will they?"

"...I don't know."

He walked slowly to her, apprehensively, and stopped in front of her off, "I've made a lot of mist-..." He choked on his words.

She nodded her head, agreeing, quickly looking down at the ground as her eyes misted over with tears. "Yes. You have."

He sat down on the grass and crossed his legs, picking at the blades of grass. "How could I fuck up this bad?!" He darted his eyes to the path leading to the new manor, contemplating leaving before looking back at the dirt and freshly picked grass. "I never wanted to hurt you."

She inhaled a sharp breath. "Then why did you do it? Why did you help someone to harm me Eran?"

"Because I wanted everything. I want everything and I can't have it. I was foolish, I thought it'd be a way, or something, to prevent the other militias infringing on the others space. I...I thought I was a....a superstar or some shit."

"You lied to me. You never even told me, Eran. You were in my god damned fleet and you were aiding the enemy to kill me?"

He looked to the grass again.

"How am I supposed to pretend that didn't happen? How am I supposed to just pretend like you're not a Brutor when you are."

He clutched his knees. "I'm nothing now....it did happen...I betray-god dammit," he winced, fighting off tears as he stood.

Tears dripped down her cheeks, "I forgave so much. So many times I tried to pretend you weren't destroying me."

He ignored the tears that ran down his face, "I...I hate myself for what I've done to you....if I knew this would've happened...I would've told you to stay away from me."

"This isn't about love, Eran, it was never about love. I love you. I love you. With every single breath I take, I love you, and a part of me will always love you. But my love wasn't enough for you, I wasn't enough for you. You wanted more, and all I wanted was to be with you."

He frowned. "I wanted everything....but I can't have that...I could have had...it's too late." He paced several steps from her and pulled his hood up.

"I don't want your empty promises."

"Of course not. My word is worth nothing. I could've been happy if I just gave up sooner...if I had listened."

"Not when you try to kill me no. Not when you say you only want to protect me yet you help the enemy to destroy me, no, it's not. Not when you say you wanted me, that all you wanted was me, but you destroyed what we had."

He turned to Shalee, his mouth open as if he were trying to speak.

She stood and started to pace, her hurt and anger fusing into a powerful emotion. Tears poured down her cheeks, her face flushed red, her vision blurred from the tears. "You have no right to make me feel sorry for you! I risked everything for you. I risked my reputation to be with you. I risked my LIFE to be with you, I would have done anything for you, I would have died for you. I fucking worshiped you and I was NEVER enough for you!"

"Some day you will find someone who will treat you the way I should have..." His voice was low, pained. "You will never know how much you mean to me Shalee, that's because my words can't be trusted anymore but that's my problem, not yours. I'm sorry for what I've done, I truly am." He glanced off into the distance, "...the manor is finished. I will tear it down and plant more trees there so you can have it the way it was before I came around."

She inhaled a shaky breath through her sobbing, "....you finished our house?"

He stared pitifully at her, "Please don't cry." He mumbled to himself, "God, what have I done to her?"

"Shalee....you'll be alright."

She shook her head, "No I wont. I wont. I'll never be alright again." She closed the distance between them, half stumbling, til she reached him and laid her head against his chest, "Hold me."

He looked confused and deeply saddened before placing a hand on the back of her head and an arm around her back, pulling her closer. "It's alright." He rubbed her back slowly and closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh.

She stained his cloak with her tears as she slipped her arms around his waist, holding onto him tightly.He kissed the top of her head and spoke quietly to her, "Someday you will look back at this and be glad that you found me out for who I was before it really was too late....."

She tipped her head back, staring into his face as tears streamed down her cheeks. "That's all you can say to me?" She gasped for air, feeling breathless, "No more promises? You wont even try?"

"Shalee..." Eran looked down at her, "I still love you but I can't keep hurting you."

She stared at him, choking on the tears.

He frowned as he wiped his thumbs across her cheeks, swiping away her tears, "l promise that I always will love you....but I don't think I can ever forgive myself though. You deserve better."

She pressed her tear stained lips to his, "Just kiss me..." she whispered against his mouth.

His mouth melded to hers as he pulled her closer, holding her tight. She cupped his cheeks, holding his mouth to hers, kissing until they were both breathless.

He kissed the tears away as he caught his breath, "You give me too much."

Her forehead rested against his. She inhaled his scent, "I love you."

"I don't deserve this...you should be spitting on me. But I love you Shalee."

She tensed as she started to untangle herself from him, gasping for breath, wiping away the tears, "I love you but I haven't forgiven you."

He reached for her hand, curling his fingers around hers, "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make sure we can at least still be friends. I need you, I know I do. It's beyond a want, and I wanted everything; that's why I fell so hard. It's up to you in the end.....I don't want to hurt you more than I have."

"I should go...duties and all of that," she said softly.

"Of course...take care, Shalee. Be well."

She wiped her cheeks with the edges of her sleeves, "I will. And you take care too....and we'll talk soon?" her voice was heavy with emotion, slightly higher pitched.

"Yes, of course!" He smiled to her as he squeezed her hand before letting it go.

She turned around quickly and dashed off into the distance.

He watched her, whispering, "I love you."

Entry 103: Commander Yida

2010-08-18T17:42:00.008-04:00

"It seems I have some free time at the moment." Kuan Yida, Commander in the Tribal Liberation Force Militia said as he initiated comms with her.

"Mmm wonder why." She smirked to herself. Kuan was docked up in 'Auga Third' with twenty or so Amarrian militia hovering around the undock, herself included.

"And... you may note, lady, I was not on your combat loss log." Earlier, Shalee and Pred had went out for a roam, picked up one or two other pilots along the way and had been attacked by the Minmatar with overwhelming numbers. She had noticed Kuan being there just before she went down, though later when she checked the log of it, his name had not been listed.

"I did notice that, actually. Why?" she asked.

"I had other targets to shoot," he responded.

"Ah."

"However, it seemed as if it would be... unseemly. I don't know," he said.

"So. Unseemly," she muttered.

"Indeed."

"Looks like we are leaving, so you're free to undock," she said as orders had been given to warp to Amammake.

"Alas, some stationside duties now call, and nearly all my comrades have disbanded."

Before she killed the connection, she said, "You shouldn't hesitate."

"You have been my guest, and I failed at providing proper courtesy. I have yet to determine how that should be amended. In the meantime... it will be simpler to choose other targets in your fleets."

"I'd rather you not do that," she said flatly.

"It is my decision, Commodore. It requires no response or like act on your part, nor any obligation."

"You're rather stubborn, aren't you." Shalee sighed to herself. Men.

"So, you have noticed?"

"Absolutely."

"The way of the Xia teaches pride and honor, and those can be difficult masters."

"Mmm. I've hesitated too," she admitted.

"My pardon, lady. Pressing business calls. However, I will be in contact. Fly safe."

"Farewell."

***

After her patrol, she docked up in the Huola 24th station for the night. Once inside her apartment, she changed out of her uniform and made herself a drink, turned on some soft music and sat down to activate the date crystal he'd given her.

She took a sip of her wine as she started to read, 'Tao De Long Xia: The Path of the Dragon Warrior.'

She'd finished half a bottle of wine by the time she'd finished reading. Her thoughts drifted to when she'd first became aware of him, sometime out on the battlefield these last few weeks.

No doubt he became aware of her in the same time frame as well. He had wrote about her in his public logs, though she didn't know whether to be flattered or concerned. He spoke of her with equal flattery and sarcasam.

Of course.

He's the enemy after all, dammit.

And then he changed her world forever. He sent her the mail giving her proof that Eran had betrayed her.

Some part of her first thought he'd done it out of malice, that he must have taken great satisfaction to know that he had singlehandledy destroyed her life. Well no, to be fair, he handn't been responsible for Eran's actions. But still, had he not told she would have never known the depths that Eran had fallen to. The things he was capable of.

Later, she'd seen Kuan in local comms in Auga one night and randomly invited him to Houla for drinks in front of everyone. The guys she'd been flying with had laughed it off as if it were some joke, but she had been serious.

And he had accepted.

A few days later they met in Kourmonen instead, he'd taken her into the Vherokior occupated section of one of the space station to have drinks and dinner.

She'd been fascinated by the experience despite the open hostility from some of those who had hated Amarrians.

It could have been a trap. He could have easily delivered her over to the mob yet he did not, instead he protected her.

Her enemy defended her against his own people.

It was a strange situation and had continued to be one even after she'd left him for the evening.

Since then she'd hesitated on the battlefield, just for a few seconds, but enough to where Kuan managed to live. It had made a difference.

She had been disgusted with herself, not because she shot him, but because she hesitated. Kuan had wormed his way into her subconscious, gotten under her guard and now she was paying for it.

"Goddammit," she muttered under her breath.

After another glass of wine, she opened up her neocomm and sent off a message to him.

Dear Commander Yida...

Entry 102: His Story

2010-08-17T12:58:00.003-04:00

"So what's the deal? Why do you not like Intaki...?" she asked Pred as they stepped outside into the snow. Moments earlier he had lost his temper with Rita, an Intaki and frequent guest at the Keep.

He pulled out a picture and handed it to her, "This was my family..."

She barely hid her shock, "What?" She held the photo up to the waning light, staring at it as her thoughts raced. She had flown under him for months now, had been to his Huola apartment for drinks, he'd come to Amarr to visit her and the rest of the Knighthood at the Keep. He was her friend.

Wasn't he? What did she really know about him? Apparently nothing. She didn't even know his name, only his call sign, Predator Elite. Gods. And now he had a wife? A family?

"My wife and two sons."

"...wife? You are married?"

"Was." He looked away.

"It's a long story."

"Tell me."

"I was in the Caldari militia at the time. My family and I had moved out to a low sec system."

She nodded. "So what happened?"

"I thought I could protect them, from anything." He started to pace. "I was out in a small fleet commanding as usual and the next thing I know the Gallente had taken over the system we lived in."

She folded her arms, rubbing them absently as she listened, her eyes wide, trembling from the frigid temperature.

"I quickly organized a larger fleet and ran back to the system. It was a masssive fight, over five hundred against a thousand."

"...we had less."

"I did everything I could in the book to try and get it back, to retake the system... but I failed at every attempt."

"During the fight the gallente learned that my family was there. They found them and took them."

"I tried to pursue but was intercepted and we had to fall back."

"They held my family hostage for over a year. Eventually I left the Caldari militia to look for them."

"When I found the Intaki that was holding them I demanded their release."

"They tried to negotiate...the Intaki wanted me to spy against the Caldari. I obviously told him no way and then at that moment....I lost everything that was dear to me."

She paled, "Oh god...."

"He murded my family right in front of my eyes...it happened so fast. They were dead before I even reached him."

"I buried them." His voice cracked, "I buried my wife and my two sons."

"I am so, so sorry." She blinked rapidly as if trying to keep tears from falling.

"I took the Intaki and tortured him for several months. He was asking to die every single day...eventually I agreed and killed him."

"At that moment I swore I would take the life of every Intaki I ever meet."

"...but Pred, you musn't do that. One person's actions should not speak for an entire race of people. He was a horrible, wicked man but...certainly not everyone is like that."

His jaw clenched as he reached out for the picture.

She stared down at the photo for a moment then passed it back to him, "I am so sorry."

"Maybe you're right Shalee.. but I will keep killing them as long as I am alive."

Entry 101: Shady Pilots

2010-08-11T19:58:00.004-04:00

Shalee slanted her eyes left and right, following the small beam of light that Joshua flashed in front of her.

"So anyhow, I had went out on a patrol under Jackman. It was different from what I am used to with Predator, but it was fun, he took us out to Minmatar high sec. On our way back to Huola, we see Eran on a gate, on auto pilot."

Joshua nodded as he signed off on a chart, the motioned for her to stick out her tongue. He pressed a tongue depressor into her mouth, "An' then..."

"Say ahh."

"Ahhh."

She waited patiently as he pulled it away, then continued her rambling. "I hadn't flown with most of these militia pilots, they were dayshift, though Raphael was there. Anyhow so we see Eran, on autopilot. Someone mentions locking him, but I asked them not to. Jackman gave the order not to agress him since I know him. The fleet disbands and everyone is told to go on their way, we were in Kourmonen by this point."

Joshua moved to her side, otoscope in his hand, tilting her head to look into her ear, "Right, Kourmonen," he muttered distractedly.

"I make to the 24th station in Huola, but I'm hearing over comms that Eran is being bumped off the Huola gate by some of those pilots." She tilted her head to the opposite side as he examined her other ear, "So I go back. Haven't heard from Eran since that night he left the Keep mind you, I didn't even know he was flying again."

He added something else to her medical chart, pretending to listen, "Uh huh."

"I have never been so angry and so annoyed with my own damn militia. I start randomly locking up pilots on the gate and tell them I will go GCC, that they need to let him go."

He looks up at her, absently nodding. "Right."

"Mind you, I'm only in a harbinger and if I had to go GCC I probably would have died to gate fire. But that didn't matter to me, it was the principal of it. Anyhow, they end up letting him go, he jumps into Huola and makes it to the station. He never said a word to me after that, and I've still not heard from him."

"What did your CEO say about it?" He mumbled, not really paying her any attention.

"Ah, didn't tell him. Not like he is going to care, I think....well maybe he would care that I locked up Raphel, my own corp mate. But still. If I explained it to him, maybe not. I don't know. And anyhow he's unlikely to hear about it now."

Joshua nodded, "Right." He motioned her off the exam table, still looking down at her med chart.

"All done?"

"Yes, Commodore. You're all clear."

"Perfect. Time to fly." She gave him a mock salute as she headed off towards the pod station, "Oh hey, Joshua? Thanks for listening."

"Anytime Commodore," grinned wryly.

Entry One Hundred: A Certain Death

2010-08-08T16:03:00.004-04:00

"He's coming for you and you've no one to stop him."

She closed her eyes to force the image away, "You're not real. You're dead."

"Garst wont stop. He is relentless, and he will not stop until he has you. Poor little Shalee, all alone with no one to keep the monsters away," Hadrien taunted.

"Stop it."

"If only you hadn't butchered the only one who ever really loved you."

"You're dead."

"Because you killed me."

"You deserved it! You DESERVED your fate I will not feel guilty. I will NOT." she screamed.

"...and yet you do. You cannot let me go, can you? You don't want to let me go."

She buried her face in her hands, trying to force him away but his voice was still there, inside of her mind.

"You destroy every man who loves you. It's your fault. Love is but a game to you, I taught you too well, didn't I my angel?"

"You're not real," she whispered.

"He is dying because of you."

"I didn't pull the trigger."

"He pulled the trigger because of you, angel. It might as well have been you."

"I could never do that, I could never hurt him."

"You're nothing but a source of misery to him, just like you are to every other man who loves you. You have to know that, have to know that if he truely dies his blood is on your hands."

She sat there rocking back and forth, whispering over and over, "I don't hear you, I don't hear you, you're not real."

Hadrien's voice finally faded away.

She dropped her hands and looked about the room as the AC unit kicked on, blowing a gust of artifically cool air against her feverish skin.

It had been five days since she'd slept. The lines between reality and nightmares blurred and she was finding it harder and harder to keep her sanity. It was easier to keep herself together while in pod, her focus was sharper when all she had to do was worry about the next kill. Her military training kept the hallucinations at bay.

Usually, anyhow.

Her last patrol was harder. Coming out of pod afterwards for a few minutes of downtime before the next fleet was set to rendezvous had nearly undone her.

Joshua, her chief pod tech, had pleaded with her to get some rest but she ignored him, telling him she'd be fine after a drink and a dose of stims.

She'd waited for the call to come over comms for the next roam, stretched out on a bland sofa in a bland room that connected to her hangar in Huola top station. The dim light made it all too relaxing and with nothing else to look at, she stared off at the oranged hued planet beyond the glass wall.

Moments later her thoughts became less controlled as she started to drift off. She tried to fight the heaviness of her lids but couldn't. She fell into a fitful state of half asleep, half awake, exhausted, feverish, and full of grief.

In those hazy moments she could hear Eran's voice. "Shalee I love you. You are everything to me." So many promises, so many lies. She drifted deeper as her exhausted body gave into the need for sleep. Dreaming. Nightmares. Seconds later the sound of a shotgun thundered through the hellish darkness.

She jerked awake to the sound still reverberating in the back of her mind.

But it wasn't over. Though she was awake she was slipping away. Too many stims and too little sleep combined with the utter grief that consumed her pushed her towards the edge. She was hallucinating, seeing the brother that she'd murdered.

Finally a voice broke through the madness, one over militia comms. The fleet was forming and she had less than five minutes to meet up with the FC in Kamela.

***
Later...

"Goddammit!" She yelled as she struggled in the vat of ambiotic fluid, trying to pull the mouthpiece from her lips, nearly choking the fluid.

She could feel Joshua's hands on her, trying to pull her up.

She slung her head from side to side, dripping with the translucent fluid. "Get me out of here goddammit!

"Easy Commodore, calm down."

"No you calm down! I just want out of this coffin already." She swiped her hands across her face, clearing her eyes, blinking several times as she tried to focus her vision. "The nerve of that man!"

Joshua looked at her cautiously as he handed her a towel, uncertain if he were supposed to ask what man.

"Lost one of my last harbingers in the blink of an eye to the most idiotic calls." She brushed the towel across her slick face as she stood up, waiting for him to unconnect her from the vat. "I mean really, in what universe does it make sense to 'just ignore' a gate camp while you're in a battle cruiser because the rest of your fleet is light and already gone. JUST IGNORE it he says. JUMP THROUGH, he says."

Joshua nodded as if agreeing with her as he finished the last deconnect, then helped her out of the vat."And we do. Raphael went first, he got caught, was taking heavy fire but making it back to the stargate. I'm there holding cloak, planning on burning back to the gate myself. And I do. I make it. I'm ready to jump through."

Her face flushed with hot emotion as she continueed to yell and vent, "But THEN he says, "engage." So I confirm this, right? Because I think surely he didn't say to engage. But he did. He says engage so what am I supposed to do but follow orders and ENGAGE and then I'm aggressed as Raphael makes it through the gate. The FC is pleased with this. Raphael makes it, but I'm stuck in the midst of it. And he tells everyone else to simply 'warp off'. Sure I'll just WARP OFF in a battle cruiser."

"So then he says, de-agress and jump back through the gate. Yeah okay I'll just sit here and let the whole goddamned Minmatar army beat the shit out of my hull while I wait it out and hope and pray that I can make it through the gate."

She growled an annoyed sound of frustration, "Which obviously didn't happen. And it was my own fucking fault for not trying to warp my pod out sooner so not only did I lose my harbinger and my crew, I lost my pod and implants."

Joshua stood outside of the shower stall, listening to her ranting, his mouth twisted into amusement. He much prefered her firey temper to the sullen melchanoly of the last week or so. With this new clone, at least her body was rested. And by the sound of her ranting, she was back to her old self.

She stepped out of the shower and sideglanced him, "What the hell are you smirking at?"

He tried to wipe the grin off of his face, "Nothing Commodore, nothing at all. Now, shall we go and see to those implants?"

Entry Ninety Nine: Betrayals & Obsessions

2010-08-05T18:12:00.004-04:00

It had been four days since she'd slept. Four days of near-constant patrols in the war zone. When she wasn't in pod, her life had taken on a hellish hue.

Randomly she had received a neo comm message from a Minmatar Militia pilot, someone she had been fighting against almost on a nightly basis. Her first instinct was to think it was fake. A ruse from the TLF Commander, something to throw her off her game, something to distract her with while in pod. After all, lasers and missiles weren't the only way to destroy an enemy.

From: Kuan Yida
To: Shalee Lianne

Honored enemy:
It would seem that this message I received from your lover would be of interest to you. As he's regarded as a traitor to his people, you should know that this trait of his runs deep and double edged.
Kuan Yida
TLF Talon Commander
Xia of Huang Yinglong

From: Eran Mintor
To: Kuan Yida
Don't tell Amarr, but I was repping your sleipnir and some other Minmatar. Not that it matters.

For two days the message rolled around in her mind, taunting her. During some downtime she had checked the combat logs and reviewed some holo's of their previous patrols. Eran, in a fleet with her and Predator. It was all there. The 'kill boards' were proof enough. There was no denying what he had done.

It was the last straw.

He had broken her heart when he left the Knighthood. She'd been naive and foolish enough to believe that once he converted to the Amarr Militia and lived with her that it would be enough, that she would be enough to sustain him.

But it was not. He had left despite her tears, despite the arguments. He followed his convictions and left to build a 'new empire of peace' in null sec with some of his former friends.

She had forgiven him, she had tried to make it work despite being in different corporations fighting for different causes but he had made it difficult. He spoke out publically against the Amarr on the Inter Galatic Summit. It had humiliated her. He had shot down an Amarrian Militia member in Amarrian space. She was mortified. Over and over these incidents happened followed by his apologies.

She had forgiven him each and every time because she was hopelessly in love with him. Desperately so. Obsessively so.

It had been easy enough to put him above everything else because love was supposed to conquer all, because his love mattered to her more than the public humiliation she constantly had to endure.

That is, until he crossed the line and aided the enemy to kill her.

Until there was proof that not only would he betray the Minmatar and the Amarr, but that he'd betray her. That he would aide her enemy in destroying her.

It was unforgivable. How could he claim to love her and yet secretly aide the enemy to kill her? If he could do that, if he would lie about that, then what other secrets would he keep from her? Did she even know him at all?

She had confronted him in the Keep and he didn't even have the decency to deny it. She lost her temper, both with him and everyone else who tried to intervene for her 'causing a scene'.

She left Amarr after yelling at her former Captain, Mitara Newell, to 'fuck off', and headed back to Huola, back to all that was familiar and 'safe'. One patrol followed another.

She refused to sleep, to eat, to come out of the pod.

Eventually her emotions were under control enough for her to return, only to be told by Aldrith that Eran had tried to kill himself, that he had drunk himself into a pit of self loathing and put a gun to his jaw and pulled the trigger.

The nightmare ensued.

She tried to see him as he recovered at the Basilica but she wasn't allowed in. She stayed by his door til morning, only vaguely aware of the others who came and went; Kaleb, Literia, and Esna.

Eventually she was sent away and once again she returned to Huola, only to find Garst Tyrell there.

He taunted her in local while he challenged militia pilots to duels, for 'honor'.

Both Predator and Aldrith accepted. Those who did not were hunted anyway. As he left the system he sent her a neo-comm message:

From: Garst Tyrell
To: Shalee Lianne

We'll be together forever...or I'll haunt you until you are nothing but dust.
I'm going to be very blunt with you Lianne. You are making me very, very angry. I've taken a few dozen deep breaths and I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was more angry at myself than with you. You can't find your true nature without my help anymore than the a Matari slave would know what do with his freedom if he had it. Matters out of my control have kept me from upholding my promise to you (surprising isn't it princess? The universe doesn't revolve around you) but I'm here for you now, dry your tears. In the spirit of truth telling I have reason to be angry with you. Not ONCE have you tried to contact me, not ONCE have you reflected on your misspent life or the associations that have you got you in so much trouble. Repent princess and witness what your sins have wrought.
I've attached a present for you, although I don't expect you will like it much. Here's a preview:
(enclosed is the photo of Predator Elite's corpse)
Beautiful isn't it? I love that photo, the way the light reflects off the blood. I think is just positively delicious.
Pay attention Lianne. I promised you that if you refused me I will hurt the ones you love.
I'm raising the ante. When you've run out of friends I'm coming for you. If by that day you have not fallen to your knees, dried the tears from your eyes and begged me for repentance I will kill you. Unlike 'Predator Elite' (an arrogant windbag's call-sign if there ever was one) you don't have a backup clone, princess. Come to your senses, I beg you.
More of your friends will die. Only you can make the killing stop...

Entry Ninety Eight: The Secret

2010-07-29T12:54:00.008-04:00

Tears streaked her cheeks as she sat there, numb from over stimulation. Colors blurred, sounds were distorted, smells intensified.

She could hear someone trying to talk to her but they seemed very far away, a voice hidden behind a door at the end of a long hall.

She shook her head, trying to make sense of what was happening.

"Commodore." the faintest of whispers. The voice, familiar. She latched on to it in the cacophony of sounds, using it as an anchor.

"Commodore Lianne. Do you hear me?" His voice was more forceful, demanding.

She gave a quick shake of her head as she forced her mouth open, "I hear you."

Her voice sounded alien to her, and very far away.

She latched onto the sides of the cloning vat, dizzy and nauseated.

"Where am I?" she asked, though she already knew.

"Amarr, Emperor Family Academy Space Station. You had an accident."

Accident. A polite way of saying you died. That moments earlier you were far across the galaxy and someone killed you. That some part of you was still out there, floating in space, scarred, burned, or frozen. Maybe she was still there anyhow, in the asteroid belt in Kurniainen. If the pirate hadn't taken what was left of her for God only knew what.

It never got easier.

She'd been podded before. She had woken up in this very room countless times in her earlier days of flying, having gone through the process a dozen or so times before.

Even so.

She died.

Died.

Her mind worked quickly to process the fact.

The last images burned across her memory. An asteroid belt, she'd been engaged with a Sansha when the pirate warped in on her. The belt was a difficult one, hard to navigate in. Her corp mate had lost his ship moments earlier in the dense mass of rocks though had managed to get his pod out safely.

She'd stayed behind, trying to get the last Sansha...and that's when it happened. A pirate in a dramiel had warped right in on top of her. She couldn't get out of his range, couldn't get away because she became stuck in the dense debris.

She watched in horror as her pod was caught. Destroyed.

And then everything was dark and cold.

Moments later she was waking up, as if she'd merely been asleep.

The rush of memories overwhelmed her and for the briefest of moments, her mind protested.

Some small part of her wanted to reject the sudden onslaught of an entire life filling her mind, her thoughts.

It wasn't her, was it?

She gripped the sides of the cloning vat tightly, her knuckles white, as she was forced to relive the moments of her life in lightning fast flashes.

She was five, running through the palatial corridors of her family estate, naive and happy. She was was seven and her mother was dying by the hands of her father and brothers. She was thirteen when she learned the family secret, when they brought her into the horrific world of blooding.

Macabre images of slaves being tortured, drained. Sacrificed, delivered unto God.

Blood on her hands, streaming down her pale arms.

Hadrien guiding her, teaching her.

Tears dripped from the corners of her eyes.

Other memories continued to play across her thoughts, imprinting in the back of her mind. Her first kiss. The first time she had fallen in love. The first time she had flown through space. Her first battle.

Emotions overwhelmed her as she remembered, trying to make sense of it all.

"Commodore?"

She focused her stormy blue gaze on him, trying to place him in the set of memories she'd just been delivered.

"Yes....Joshua...?" she asked in an uncertain tone. "You're...the pod technician...?"

He nodded with a smile, "Good. It's all coming back to you? Do you feel like you can stand?" he stretched his hand out for her.

"I...I think so." She laid her hand against his, dripping with ambiotic fluid. "You're the first person I've ever touched..."

He quirked a brow as he pulled her from the vat, helping her to her feet, "I'm sorry...?" He smiled an apology as he draped a towel around her.

"No...was just musing on it. I remember touching other people...but I really haven't, have I? I've been here this whole time." She glanced to the clone vat.

"Strange, isn't it?" he responded as he helped her over to the showers. "Are you sure you're feeling alright...you seem different this time," he said with a hint of concern.

"I feel different. I feel...I don't feel like her."

"Her?"

"Me. I'm sorry." She shook her head as a look of confusion swept across her delicate face. "Me. I meant me."

He nodded as he helped her into the shower stall. "Sometimes it takes a while to fully integrate. I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Joshua?"

"Yes Commodore?"

"Do you think...do you think I had a soul. Before you woke me up, I mean. Do you think...for those few fleeting moments, before I became Shalee...do you think I was someone else?"

He gave her a quizzical look. "That, Commodore, is for the Theological Council to decide. But the general opinion of the masses is that no, you're nothing more than a 'meatbag' before you're awakened."

"Oh.... I see. I just can't help but feel like ...something isn't right. That I'm not living the right life."

"How do you mean?"

She shook her head, "I don't know...I guess I'll figure it out."

He waited for her to shower then lead her to the medical bay, readying her for the implants and hardwire that would render her a better combat pilot.

She stretched out on the med table and closed her eyes as memories continued to seep into her consciousness.

"Joshua? Do you think I am a bad person?" Tears seeped from the corners of her closed lids.

"Bad? Not at all. You fight for the glory of the Empire. How can someone who does all the things you do be bad?"

"You don't know everything I've done."

He smiled down at her as he positioned the light above her head, "Certainly not. But God does."

He tilted her head and pushed her hair out of the way as he sloshed an antiseptic across the base of her skull. "Is there something bothering you...?" he asked, uncertain if he should breach the bounds of their professional relationship.

"I just feel...that I am spinning out of control."

He rubbed his thumb against her temple, trying to soothe away the stress, "Relax. The download isn't perfect 100% of the time. You'll feel a little disoriented but things will straighten out soon. You need to relax and let everything sort itself out."

He injected several doses of medicine into the bottom of her neck, just below her hair line, one to numb the area, another to put her to sleep so that he could insert her implants. "Everything will be fine soon enough, Commodore."

"If only it were that simple," she mumbled as she drifted off to sleep, loosing control of her thoughts as she started to dream.

A holodrone activated and the image of a small girl with long red ringlet curls projected, hovering just beside his arm.

Joshua noticed the movement from the corner of his eye and jerked, knocking over a small table full of implants and medical devices.

"What the.." he caught himself before her cursed. He stared at the giggling child, "Who...what...are you..."

The girl gave a dimpled smile, "Don't you know?"

He quickly darted his hand through her, "I don't believe in ghosts..." he said in amazement, "..but no child should be able to access the holographic equipment in here..."

She giggled again as she glanced over to Shalee sleeping. "She forgot to tell you. She wants the snakes implants this time...she likes to go fast."

Joshua took an unconscious step backwards as shock slid across his face. He grabbed hold of the counter to steady himself.

"...Shalee?" he stared at the little holographic girl. "But how?"

She held her tiny finger to her lips, giggling. "Shhh. It's a secret."