Powder blue silk fabric wrapped around her torso and fell in soft folds to her ankles. Her shoulders were bare save for the loose, pearl encrusted straps that drooped against her upper arms. Her long hair had been curled and pinned up with matching pearl and diamond clips.
Around her neck she wore a necklace that cost more than the slicer's she flew.
A soft, warm breeze ruffled the hem of her dress as she crossed the walkway, moving towards the steps of the Imperial Opera House.
A thrill of excitment coursed through her as she glanced about, searching the crush of people who were lingering about, dressed in an assortment of silks and satins, jeweled, powdered and perfumed.
Gods she loved the Opera.
She'd always been seduced by the atmosphere, the elegance, the beauty of it all. And then there was the show itself, the music, the scenery, the stories.
It was rapture, it was bliss.
And tonight's performance would be especially intriguing because she hadn't a clue who invited her. Earlier, she'd received an invitation along with the dress and jewels, her ticket and directions.
She ventured several guesses though none seem to quite fit. Raphael had taken her to the opera once long ago but the last time she'd spoken with him, he'd made it clear that he pretty much loathed her. She mentally crossed him off the list, then considered Eran. He would be the type to suprise her but she doubted he would feel comfortable among the imperial nobles.
A whirlwind of silky colors bled together as the breeze picked up again. Laughter and conversation filled the night time air as everyone waited for the doors to be opened.
She thought of her friends who might have invited her. Aldrith perhaps. No doubt he'd enjoy the finery and music as much as she would, but he wouldn't send her costly jewels or make such a mystery of things.
Strolling around, she searched the crowd, trying to find the one who invited her. Other names crossed her mind but they didn't quite fit either. Alexander perhaps? Though they were becoming such good friends, it didn't make sense for him to send her jewels either. Predator maybe. He'd spent enough on her over the past few months that a few diamonds wouldn't be out of place. However, she wasn't certain he would be the type to enjoy an opera.
She shook her head no to him, then thought of others.
Invelious, maybe. She could easily imagine that this would be his type of scene. Imperial, rich, cultured. He would be in his element here. And he was fond of mystery, intrigue, and beautiful things. Just as she decided it must be him, she frowned, remembering he was off in null sec.
Sighing to herself, she let her thoughts settle on Verone for a moment. He certainly could afford it, and would be the type to throw isk around on jewels and clothes...but would he come to Empire? If he did, it would be to prove a point.
Perhaps he wanted to apologize, really apologize for the things they had fought over.
Just as she had settled upon Verone, a hand wrapped around her arm.
She turned, expecting to see the overly tall gallentean, "Apology accep-" she gasped. "Kathetel..."
"Expecting someone else?" The Imperial Agent smirked to her.
"Any one but you," she said dryly as she attempted to jerk her arm away.
His dark eyes lit with warning as he kept his fingers wrapped firmly around her arm. "Smile and look enormously pleased to see me," he whispered as he lead her through the crowd.
Once they stepped through the opened doors, the house lights flickered several times, warning the patrons they had but ten minutes to find their seats.
He guided her to a private alcove, leaning over to whisper against her ear, "You've been assigned a new mission."
"What? No. I don't work for you!"
He squeezed her arm, "Calm down," he warned. "This is one assignment I think you'll enjoy."
She looked at him skeptically. "Go on," she whispered with reservation.
"Your Father has escaped. We assume he will eventually find his way to your brother, Keon."
Her Father, once a wealthy holder and distinguished member at the royal court had openly defied the Empress's proclamation of emancipation. He had made his fortune upon slave trade and would suffer from the decree.
He was arrested on charges of treason and heresy plus countless other minor charges. Being of noble birth saved his life though he would spend his remaining days in prison.
She paled from the news. "I don't know why you're telling me this...I left that life behind. I don't even know where Keon is...they are all but dead to me. You should know that...so I don't know what I could even do."
"Easy, really. Your task will be simple. You will seek out your brother and make amends, gain his trust, and when your Father shows up, we will handle the messy details." He winked at her, "That is, unless you'd rather do it yourself. I remember how you enjoyed Hadrien..."
Hadrien. Her youngest brother. The memory hit her suddenly. Blood everywhere, drenching her pale white hands, rolling down her wrists, splattered against her face. Standing in a pool of it, his lifeless body sliced into a hundred pieces or more.
She closed her eyes, feeling faint.
He slid an arm around her waist to steady her, "Come now, enough of that. You kill thousands every day, don't get hung up over one little death." He looked at her sharply, "Straighten up now, we've an opera to see. Blood Moon. I thought it fitting..." He suddenly smirked.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Entry 115: Rushing Anka
Intel had been reported by Admiral Mitara Newell just as their small fleet of seven or eight pilots jumped the star gate, making their way towards Minmatar space.
A military complex had been scanned down in the system of Anka and currently was being fought for by General Sassawong of the Tribal Liberation Force.
"Eran, do you think we can make it?" she asked as she noted the time. It would be a close call.
"We will try," he told her then gave orders to the fleet to backtrack the four jumps back to Huola to reship in something smaller, anything that could activate the accel gate to get inside of the complex.
Minutes bled away as they made it to the 24th station and reshipped, though now they faced another four jumps to Anka.
"Burn best speed, hold on the accel gate."
Two minutes remained on the clock as the small fleet warped in. Sassawong was forced to retreat.
Though there had been a minor skirmish on the star gate as one of the late comers of the fleet was engaged and shot down, the complex was held by Amarr.
Four ships had been lost in the process, but it was a small price to pay to keep control of the system.
Anka was precariously close to falling. Every complex mattered.
***
The Keep was eerily quiet as Shalee made her way to the training room just before sunrise. She had been restless, unable to sleep, and wanted to work off some of her frustration.
As she stopped at the entrance, she could hear the familiar voice of the holographic instructor, Mikuela. With her curiosity piqued, she stepped into the room and watched as a Jacke Incarnate thrust his epee towards a holographic foe. Mikuela paced around him, giving critique on his stance.
As if sensing her presence, Jacke remotely froze the holographic instruction as he turned around to face her.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you..." Shalee apologized.
"No one ever comes here at this hour," he said.
"I couldn't sleep." She moved over to a bench and dropped her workout bag. "You're...Jacke?" she asked, only vaguely remembering the boy, having little contact with the children of the Keep.
He looked at her with a steady gaze, "Yes. Jacke Incarnate."
"Right, of course." She felt uneasy without understand why. "So...you train every morning?"
"I do. I will have to be in the best physical condition if I want to get into the Navy."
"You're going to join the Navy?"
"When I am older, yes," he said with unquestionable confidence. "And then Capsuleer training after that. I want to be a fighter pilot."
"Well that is really admirable. We can always use more loyal pilots," she smiled.
"You need more people you can trust," he said eerily.
Her brow quirked, "That's an odd thing to say...especially from one your age."
"I'm almost eleven."
She stared at the Brutor boy who was already taller than she was. "Enjoy being a kid. Too soon you'll be an adult and wishing you were still young."
"But I'm not a kid."
"You're not an adult either," she responded in an argumentative tone, briefly wondering why she was even bothering to quarrel with a child.
"But I will be, soon," he said matter of factly.
"Yes, well soon isn't now."
"No, it is not," he said reasonably. "But still. You need people you can trust, people who wont betray you. That will be me." He poked his thumb towards his chest.
She lifted her brows again, "Oh is that a fact? How do you think you know so much about me anyhow?"
He gave a shrug. "People talk, I listen."
"Yeah well, you probably shouldn't believe everything you hear."
He turned his back to her as he swung his epee from left to right, slicing through an imaginary enemy. "I don't. But..."
"But?"
"Everyone knows about Zenton."
She sighed, "Right, of course. Everyone knows just how much of a fool I was to trust a man I loved, once." She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder as she headed for the door, having lost her mood to do anything. "See ya, kid."
He smirked as he looked over his shoulder, watching her disappear before he resumed his training.
Half an hour later, he jerked around as he heard one of the holo-drones activate. The image of a little girl appeared, smiling a dimpled grin, "Jacke!"
"Hey kid," he said as he smiled in return to the red-headed little girl.
She rolled her eyes, "You shouldn't provoke her, she is sad right now."
"Sad? Why?"
"Because something bad happened with Predator."
"What happened?"
She put her hands on her hips as she started to speak, "He made her mad because he was in Huola and they were sitting outside the big space station...it was her and Eran and Sabotage and CF Proctor." She nodded matter of factly as she told her tale, "And then two other space ships showed up! And they were part of Pred's new corporation. And Pred told them on comms that if there was a fight he was going to rep his corp friends!"
Jacke looked at her oddly, "Rep?"
"Repair their ship," she explained patiently, "With the big swirly lights!" She swayed her hands around.
"Oh, okay."
"So then, the bad guy shot at CF, and Pred did rep him, but he repped CF too. But it made everyone angry," she sighed a frustrated little sound.
"She doesn't trust him anymore?"
The little girl shrugged. "She doesn't know what to think. He's helped her a lot but...he is a pirate too."
"So she doesn't trust pirates?"
"Well..." her voice took on a higher pitched sound. "Not really, 'cept maybe one or two." She thought of Verone. "She knows Pred wont hurt her...but he's not the same person he was to her before."
"Well really, who is?" he asked seriously.
She grinned again, "Good point! So do you want to come play Empire with me!" The little girl looked at him for half a second before dashing off towards the exit, knowing he would follow. "Meet you outside! The last one out is a rotten..." The holodrone blinked off as she activated somewhere else in the Keep.
"Hey no fair!" he yelled out as he took off towards exit, "Cheater!"
Down the corridor her giggling could be heard just before another holo-drone deactivated.
A military complex had been scanned down in the system of Anka and currently was being fought for by General Sassawong of the Tribal Liberation Force.
"Eran, do you think we can make it?" she asked as she noted the time. It would be a close call.
"We will try," he told her then gave orders to the fleet to backtrack the four jumps back to Huola to reship in something smaller, anything that could activate the accel gate to get inside of the complex.
Minutes bled away as they made it to the 24th station and reshipped, though now they faced another four jumps to Anka.
"Burn best speed, hold on the accel gate."
Two minutes remained on the clock as the small fleet warped in. Sassawong was forced to retreat.
Though there had been a minor skirmish on the star gate as one of the late comers of the fleet was engaged and shot down, the complex was held by Amarr.
Four ships had been lost in the process, but it was a small price to pay to keep control of the system.
Anka was precariously close to falling. Every complex mattered.
***
The Keep was eerily quiet as Shalee made her way to the training room just before sunrise. She had been restless, unable to sleep, and wanted to work off some of her frustration.
As she stopped at the entrance, she could hear the familiar voice of the holographic instructor, Mikuela. With her curiosity piqued, she stepped into the room and watched as a Jacke Incarnate thrust his epee towards a holographic foe. Mikuela paced around him, giving critique on his stance.
As if sensing her presence, Jacke remotely froze the holographic instruction as he turned around to face her.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you..." Shalee apologized.
"No one ever comes here at this hour," he said.
"I couldn't sleep." She moved over to a bench and dropped her workout bag. "You're...Jacke?" she asked, only vaguely remembering the boy, having little contact with the children of the Keep.
He looked at her with a steady gaze, "Yes. Jacke Incarnate."
"Right, of course." She felt uneasy without understand why. "So...you train every morning?"
"I do. I will have to be in the best physical condition if I want to get into the Navy."
"You're going to join the Navy?"
"When I am older, yes," he said with unquestionable confidence. "And then Capsuleer training after that. I want to be a fighter pilot."
"Well that is really admirable. We can always use more loyal pilots," she smiled.
"You need more people you can trust," he said eerily.
Her brow quirked, "That's an odd thing to say...especially from one your age."
"I'm almost eleven."
She stared at the Brutor boy who was already taller than she was. "Enjoy being a kid. Too soon you'll be an adult and wishing you were still young."
"But I'm not a kid."
"You're not an adult either," she responded in an argumentative tone, briefly wondering why she was even bothering to quarrel with a child.
"But I will be, soon," he said matter of factly.
"Yes, well soon isn't now."
"No, it is not," he said reasonably. "But still. You need people you can trust, people who wont betray you. That will be me." He poked his thumb towards his chest.
She lifted her brows again, "Oh is that a fact? How do you think you know so much about me anyhow?"
He gave a shrug. "People talk, I listen."
"Yeah well, you probably shouldn't believe everything you hear."
He turned his back to her as he swung his epee from left to right, slicing through an imaginary enemy. "I don't. But..."
"But?"
"Everyone knows about Zenton."
She sighed, "Right, of course. Everyone knows just how much of a fool I was to trust a man I loved, once." She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder as she headed for the door, having lost her mood to do anything. "See ya, kid."
He smirked as he looked over his shoulder, watching her disappear before he resumed his training.
Half an hour later, he jerked around as he heard one of the holo-drones activate. The image of a little girl appeared, smiling a dimpled grin, "Jacke!"
"Hey kid," he said as he smiled in return to the red-headed little girl.
She rolled her eyes, "You shouldn't provoke her, she is sad right now."
"Sad? Why?"
"Because something bad happened with Predator."
"What happened?"
She put her hands on her hips as she started to speak, "He made her mad because he was in Huola and they were sitting outside the big space station...it was her and Eran and Sabotage and CF Proctor." She nodded matter of factly as she told her tale, "And then two other space ships showed up! And they were part of Pred's new corporation. And Pred told them on comms that if there was a fight he was going to rep his corp friends!"
Jacke looked at her oddly, "Rep?"
"Repair their ship," she explained patiently, "With the big swirly lights!" She swayed her hands around.
"Oh, okay."
"So then, the bad guy shot at CF, and Pred did rep him, but he repped CF too. But it made everyone angry," she sighed a frustrated little sound.
"She doesn't trust him anymore?"
The little girl shrugged. "She doesn't know what to think. He's helped her a lot but...he is a pirate too."
"So she doesn't trust pirates?"
"Well..." her voice took on a higher pitched sound. "Not really, 'cept maybe one or two." She thought of Verone. "She knows Pred wont hurt her...but he's not the same person he was to her before."
"Well really, who is?" he asked seriously.
She grinned again, "Good point! So do you want to come play Empire with me!" The little girl looked at him for half a second before dashing off towards the exit, knowing he would follow. "Meet you outside! The last one out is a rotten..." The holodrone blinked off as she activated somewhere else in the Keep.
"Hey no fair!" he yelled out as he took off towards exit, "Cheater!"
Down the corridor her giggling could be heard just before another holo-drone deactivated.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Entry 114: Verone
They stopped at the security checkpoint, manned by two huge Brutor Gurista guards. She glanced around nervously, looking at the bare steel walls. The room was illuminated with bright halogen lighting, giving the area a cold, clinical feeling. She shivered as she side glanced, looking to Ethan Verone as he spoke with one of the Brutors.
"Morning Jiko. Many to clean out?"
The brutor guard nodded, "Two, five, six, eight, nine, ten."
"Open her up."
Verone looked to Shalee as Jiko slid him a matte black .50 calibre pistol not too different from his own custom sidearm.
He took the gun and lead her toward the huge glass door as it opened with a hydraulic whine, ushering her into the coridoor.
She followed him in, her gaze falling upon the VETO corp crest at the far end of the hall. A feeling of nausea overwhelmed her, she wasn't sure if it was from having too much to drink at the Last Gate or the fact that she was standing in probably the most dangerous place in all of New Eden with the most savagely notorious pirate of all. Ethan Verone, CEO of the VETO corporation.
She probably shouldn't have said that she could do what he did. She had a bad habit of putting her foot in her mouth, and this time Verone wasn't about to let it go. He brought her to his interrogation cells as if to prove to her otherwise.
Apprehensively she stepped closer to him as he started to explain the set up.
"These are our cells, the ten to the left are holding cells, the ten to the right are interrogation suites... you're more than likely not going to like what you see."
Shalee glanced down to the gun then to Verone questionably, a feeling of dread coiling in her stomach. "I'll be fine." she whispered soberly.
Verone headed to the first door on the left, tapping in a long code to the lock, before the deadbolts fired open. "This guy is an Angel Cartel informant. We found he was working against us in our staff for over six months, feeding intel back to Curse."
He slid the heavy door open. The room was empty save for a heavily built Civire resting in the far corner, huddled against the wall. He was badly bloodied, the fingers and thumb of his right hand missing, his whole frame battered and bruised.
"I see," she said blandly, trying to keep her composure as she glanced into the room, her dark blue gaze locking on the Civire.
"We pulled him in, and he's given us valuable intelligence, to counter the surveillance that the Cartel has had on us. He'll probably die in this room of blood loss at some point, when we remove a few more body parts."
Sighing, he resealed the door. He moved to the second door and tapped in an entirely different code, clearly from memory as if he knew the place well.
"You think this is supposed to frighten me or shock me? I'm in a war Ethan, I know what happens to traitors."
He opened the second door without replying to her. A wiry framed Intaki sat in the center of the floor, in much the same condition as the Civire was, missing toes, fingers, and an eyeball that looked to have been crushed by concussion.
"This guy, worked as a crewman for one of our pilots for three years. He was finally rumbled trying to swap a vial of strong exile combat booster out for hydrogen chloride. It would have killed our pilot, and rendered his neural burn useless."
He leveled the pistol with the Intaki and squeezed off a round with a loud crack, the weapon kicking, and lighting up the room in an orange flash for a second as the Intaki's skull opened up across the floor.
Shalee stared at the man for a long moment, her gaze locking with his just before Verone killed him. She gasped in horror, not expecting the sudden violence.
Verone closed the door, the light above it turning from red to green as he tapped at the lock control.
Shalee offered up a silent prayer as the door closed and forced herself to follow after him, her eyes wide with shock, walking as if in a daze.
He shrugged as he passed by rooms three and four, "You don't want to see those."
He stopped at the fifth door and opened it in the same manner. The occupant, a young Brutor, no older than eighteen was sprawled out, breathing shallow as Ethan spoke to him, "Look at me."
Verone smiled and spoke quietly as the Brutor looked up to him, "Good boy. It's over now, thank you for your help." He squeezed a round off without hesitating, dreadlocks flicking around as the Brutor's head snapped back, flesh and sinew spraying the floor. He closed the door, the light above the door turning green.
"This is what I have to do, to protect my people." He seemed a little distant, removed. "The militias... they're a walk in the part. You shoot from a distance. You see a battleship explode in space, and don't really concern yourself that you just killed six thousand people. You just try and catch the pod. This? This is something else."
She glanced up to the green light, her eyes rimmed in red from crying, silent tears trickling down her cheeks. "You think I couldn't do this to protect those that I love?"
"I don't do this to protect people I love. I do this because it's what has to be done, it safeguards my business, and I get paid to do it, it's as simple as that."
"Understand, Shalee. This isn't a place you want to be," he sighed quietly.
She leaned against a door, arms folded across her chest, trying to stop trembling. "This doesn't frighten me. This? I could do this. I'VE DONE THIS." she said in a higher pitched tone, on the verge of hysteria.
"Why wont you listen to me..."
She lifted her chin belligerently, "Because..." Tears streaked her cheeks. Because you don't know the things I am capable of either. You don't know the things I've done, the things I could do again if I had to. She squeezed her eyes closed as she sniffled, a look of misery flashing across her face as she realized she couldn't shut out the cold brutality of what she'd just seen. Yes, she had done things in the past, horrible unforgivable things. But she had chosen not to be that person anymore. When given a choice in her life, she couldn't do those things. And he knew it, he must have known all along and that was why he brought her here, to make her realize the truth of who she really was.
...and who he was.
She blinked open her eyes as she felt his thumbs swiping across her cheeks, wiping away her tears. "Let's get out of here...I hate this place."
"Morning Jiko. Many to clean out?"
The brutor guard nodded, "Two, five, six, eight, nine, ten."
"Open her up."
Verone looked to Shalee as Jiko slid him a matte black .50 calibre pistol not too different from his own custom sidearm.
He took the gun and lead her toward the huge glass door as it opened with a hydraulic whine, ushering her into the coridoor.
She followed him in, her gaze falling upon the VETO corp crest at the far end of the hall. A feeling of nausea overwhelmed her, she wasn't sure if it was from having too much to drink at the Last Gate or the fact that she was standing in probably the most dangerous place in all of New Eden with the most savagely notorious pirate of all. Ethan Verone, CEO of the VETO corporation.
She probably shouldn't have said that she could do what he did. She had a bad habit of putting her foot in her mouth, and this time Verone wasn't about to let it go. He brought her to his interrogation cells as if to prove to her otherwise.
Apprehensively she stepped closer to him as he started to explain the set up.
"These are our cells, the ten to the left are holding cells, the ten to the right are interrogation suites... you're more than likely not going to like what you see."
Shalee glanced down to the gun then to Verone questionably, a feeling of dread coiling in her stomach. "I'll be fine." she whispered soberly.
Verone headed to the first door on the left, tapping in a long code to the lock, before the deadbolts fired open. "This guy is an Angel Cartel informant. We found he was working against us in our staff for over six months, feeding intel back to Curse."
He slid the heavy door open. The room was empty save for a heavily built Civire resting in the far corner, huddled against the wall. He was badly bloodied, the fingers and thumb of his right hand missing, his whole frame battered and bruised.
"I see," she said blandly, trying to keep her composure as she glanced into the room, her dark blue gaze locking on the Civire.
"We pulled him in, and he's given us valuable intelligence, to counter the surveillance that the Cartel has had on us. He'll probably die in this room of blood loss at some point, when we remove a few more body parts."
Sighing, he resealed the door. He moved to the second door and tapped in an entirely different code, clearly from memory as if he knew the place well.
"You think this is supposed to frighten me or shock me? I'm in a war Ethan, I know what happens to traitors."
He opened the second door without replying to her. A wiry framed Intaki sat in the center of the floor, in much the same condition as the Civire was, missing toes, fingers, and an eyeball that looked to have been crushed by concussion.
"This guy, worked as a crewman for one of our pilots for three years. He was finally rumbled trying to swap a vial of strong exile combat booster out for hydrogen chloride. It would have killed our pilot, and rendered his neural burn useless."
He leveled the pistol with the Intaki and squeezed off a round with a loud crack, the weapon kicking, and lighting up the room in an orange flash for a second as the Intaki's skull opened up across the floor.
Shalee stared at the man for a long moment, her gaze locking with his just before Verone killed him. She gasped in horror, not expecting the sudden violence.
Verone closed the door, the light above it turning from red to green as he tapped at the lock control.
Shalee offered up a silent prayer as the door closed and forced herself to follow after him, her eyes wide with shock, walking as if in a daze.
He shrugged as he passed by rooms three and four, "You don't want to see those."
He stopped at the fifth door and opened it in the same manner. The occupant, a young Brutor, no older than eighteen was sprawled out, breathing shallow as Ethan spoke to him, "Look at me."
Verone smiled and spoke quietly as the Brutor looked up to him, "Good boy. It's over now, thank you for your help." He squeezed a round off without hesitating, dreadlocks flicking around as the Brutor's head snapped back, flesh and sinew spraying the floor. He closed the door, the light above the door turning green.
"This is what I have to do, to protect my people." He seemed a little distant, removed. "The militias... they're a walk in the part. You shoot from a distance. You see a battleship explode in space, and don't really concern yourself that you just killed six thousand people. You just try and catch the pod. This? This is something else."
She glanced up to the green light, her eyes rimmed in red from crying, silent tears trickling down her cheeks. "You think I couldn't do this to protect those that I love?"
"I don't do this to protect people I love. I do this because it's what has to be done, it safeguards my business, and I get paid to do it, it's as simple as that."
"Understand, Shalee. This isn't a place you want to be," he sighed quietly.
She leaned against a door, arms folded across her chest, trying to stop trembling. "This doesn't frighten me. This? I could do this. I'VE DONE THIS." she said in a higher pitched tone, on the verge of hysteria.
"Why wont you listen to me..."
She lifted her chin belligerently, "Because..." Tears streaked her cheeks. Because you don't know the things I am capable of either. You don't know the things I've done, the things I could do again if I had to. She squeezed her eyes closed as she sniffled, a look of misery flashing across her face as she realized she couldn't shut out the cold brutality of what she'd just seen. Yes, she had done things in the past, horrible unforgivable things. But she had chosen not to be that person anymore. When given a choice in her life, she couldn't do those things. And he knew it, he must have known all along and that was why he brought her here, to make her realize the truth of who she really was.
...and who he was.
She blinked open her eyes as she felt his thumbs swiping across her cheeks, wiping away her tears. "Let's get out of here...I hate this place."
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Entry 113: Her Own Betrayal
His mouth pressed against her chin before he lowered his head, grazing his lips along her throat.
"Do you still love me?" she asked with uncertainty.
"I never stopped," he whispered as he kissed her lips softly.
He pulled the sheet lower, baring her pale skin, showering delicate kisses along her shoulder as he curled his fingers around hers, pushing them above her head. "I had almost forgotten..." He hovered above her, starring down at her.
"...forgotten?"
"Just how beautiful you are."
Her fingers tightened around his as she starred up at him, "Zenton...I can't do this again, I don't want to give you up again."
"I'll never make you give me up Shalee, not ever."
"I do love you so."
"I love you Shalee, more than there are stars in the heavens."
His mouth was on hers again, his kiss aggressive. Possessive. She could feel the weight of his body as he lowered himself onto her. Zenton.
Her mind was reeling as a thousand thoughts collided. Something was wrong. She pulled her mouth from his as she rolled her head to the side, "Stop..."
"You have nothing to worry about, you're safe."
"Zenton..."
Thunder rolled across the sky beyond the windows and for a moment the scene shifted. She was in her pod, flying across one of the Minmatar backwater systems, running from him. Fear coiled in the pit of her stomach. "Consider me KOS, Shalee."
The dream shifted again and in a flash she was back in bed with him.
His mouth was at her ear, whispering, "You have nothing to worry about, you're safe."
She gasped as cold realization slid across her face, "No...you said to consider you kill on sight....you betrayed me. You killed me, you have betrayed us all...you...oh god you hunt me every night. You try to kill me...oh god..." She was struggling in his arms, trying to push him off of her.
Thunder crashed outside again, this time waking her. She jolted up in bed and stared around the empty room, her heart thudding loudly as the emotions of the dream lingered. Love, loss, and betrayal.
Sleet pelted against the window panes and occassionaly the dark sky would flash with lightning. She sat there, arms wrapped around her knees after pulling them to her chest, listening to the storm raging and the fireplace crackling.
Minutes passed before she could fully push the dream from her mind. "God damn him," she muttered under her breath as she reached for her neo comm to do some work, desperately needing to drown herself in the mundane to keep from thinking about it.
She flipped through her mail, not really concentrating, her thoughts all over the place. She barely noticed the notifications from Concord. Down another war dec.
"Couldn't handle the pressure of us fighting back huh," she said to herself as she reread the retraction.
The Knighthood had taken the fight to the Templars, staging a daring bash against their POS inside of a random wormhole. Her pilots had managed to utterly humiliate the CEO of the Templars by having one of his few remaining members betray him during the fight. With the help of Omnicide Incarnate and Condor Amarr from PIE, the POS was destroyed the next morning.
As their POS fell apart, so did their corporation.
The following night her guys had managed to station camp one of the True Slave pilots in Amarr, frustrating him to the point of him withdrawing their war dec as well.
One by one they withdrew from the fight until the Knighthood was only at war with Star Fraction. Knowing that things were about to get really complicated for the nefarious Alliance, she wondered how long it would be until they were withdrawing their war as well to concentrate elsewhere.
With a sigh, she turned off her neocomm, leaving the rest of her mail untouched. She stood and paced to the window, trailing a hand through her long hair. The dream continued to haunt her. She couldn't quite shake off the feelings of betrayal, of confusion.
"Why?," she whispered to herself, already having an inkling of why.
It had been a complicated affair.
Her thoughts drifted to the weeks before she had met Eran. Technically she was still engaged to Raphael though she hadn't seen him in months and had no word of him. The engagement was all but in name by that point.
And suddenly Zenton was there again. Suddenly he was everywhere. Flying with her, meeting her in random places for drinks and long talks about everything under New Eden.
Perhaps she depended upon him too much, needed him too much.
So many memories played through her mind. Things he had said, things she had confessed.
And then there was Eran. At first he was nothing but a target, someone the Empire had sent her to convert by any means necessary. She hadn't meant to fall in love with him.
In the process she pushed Zenton out of her life and now she was paying the price for it. Whatever he did to her now, she probably deserved. Or worse.
"Do you still love me?" she asked with uncertainty.
"I never stopped," he whispered as he kissed her lips softly.
He pulled the sheet lower, baring her pale skin, showering delicate kisses along her shoulder as he curled his fingers around hers, pushing them above her head. "I had almost forgotten..." He hovered above her, starring down at her.
"...forgotten?"
"Just how beautiful you are."
Her fingers tightened around his as she starred up at him, "Zenton...I can't do this again, I don't want to give you up again."
"I'll never make you give me up Shalee, not ever."
"I do love you so."
"I love you Shalee, more than there are stars in the heavens."
His mouth was on hers again, his kiss aggressive. Possessive. She could feel the weight of his body as he lowered himself onto her. Zenton.
Her mind was reeling as a thousand thoughts collided. Something was wrong. She pulled her mouth from his as she rolled her head to the side, "Stop..."
"You have nothing to worry about, you're safe."
"Zenton..."
Thunder rolled across the sky beyond the windows and for a moment the scene shifted. She was in her pod, flying across one of the Minmatar backwater systems, running from him. Fear coiled in the pit of her stomach. "Consider me KOS, Shalee."
The dream shifted again and in a flash she was back in bed with him.
His mouth was at her ear, whispering, "You have nothing to worry about, you're safe."
She gasped as cold realization slid across her face, "No...you said to consider you kill on sight....you betrayed me. You killed me, you have betrayed us all...you...oh god you hunt me every night. You try to kill me...oh god..." She was struggling in his arms, trying to push him off of her.
Thunder crashed outside again, this time waking her. She jolted up in bed and stared around the empty room, her heart thudding loudly as the emotions of the dream lingered. Love, loss, and betrayal.
Sleet pelted against the window panes and occassionaly the dark sky would flash with lightning. She sat there, arms wrapped around her knees after pulling them to her chest, listening to the storm raging and the fireplace crackling.
Minutes passed before she could fully push the dream from her mind. "God damn him," she muttered under her breath as she reached for her neo comm to do some work, desperately needing to drown herself in the mundane to keep from thinking about it.
She flipped through her mail, not really concentrating, her thoughts all over the place. She barely noticed the notifications from Concord. Down another war dec.
"Couldn't handle the pressure of us fighting back huh," she said to herself as she reread the retraction.
The Knighthood had taken the fight to the Templars, staging a daring bash against their POS inside of a random wormhole. Her pilots had managed to utterly humiliate the CEO of the Templars by having one of his few remaining members betray him during the fight. With the help of Omnicide Incarnate and Condor Amarr from PIE, the POS was destroyed the next morning.
As their POS fell apart, so did their corporation.
The following night her guys had managed to station camp one of the True Slave pilots in Amarr, frustrating him to the point of him withdrawing their war dec as well.
One by one they withdrew from the fight until the Knighthood was only at war with Star Fraction. Knowing that things were about to get really complicated for the nefarious Alliance, she wondered how long it would be until they were withdrawing their war as well to concentrate elsewhere.
With a sigh, she turned off her neocomm, leaving the rest of her mail untouched. She stood and paced to the window, trailing a hand through her long hair. The dream continued to haunt her. She couldn't quite shake off the feelings of betrayal, of confusion.
"Why?," she whispered to herself, already having an inkling of why.
It had been a complicated affair.
Her thoughts drifted to the weeks before she had met Eran. Technically she was still engaged to Raphael though she hadn't seen him in months and had no word of him. The engagement was all but in name by that point.
And suddenly Zenton was there again. Suddenly he was everywhere. Flying with her, meeting her in random places for drinks and long talks about everything under New Eden.
Perhaps she depended upon him too much, needed him too much.
So many memories played through her mind. Things he had said, things she had confessed.
And then there was Eran. At first he was nothing but a target, someone the Empire had sent her to convert by any means necessary. She hadn't meant to fall in love with him.
In the process she pushed Zenton out of her life and now she was paying the price for it. Whatever he did to her now, she probably deserved. Or worse.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Entry 112: Pirates & Saints
(Two days ago..)
Evening sunlight illuminated her lithe form as she stood with both hands cupped around the hilt of a custom built, .50 semi-auto pistol.
The light caught on the embedded gems that formed the KOTMC logo and splashed a prism of color across her face. She squinched her eyes and turned, quickly taking aim at a target across the snow covered field.
Sound exploded as she unloaded fourteen rounds of armour piercing into a makeshift dummy that she'd nicknamed Zenton the Bastard.
As she reloaded the clip, a sound behind her caught her attention. She turned swiftly with the gun aimed steadily.
"Goddammit, don't sneak up on me like that," Shalee snapped.
"S-sorry," Brystal studdered.
"It's alright. So what's up?" Shalee asked as she lowered the gun.
"We've another war dec."
"Oh? So what are we up to now, five?" She rolled her eyes, "So who have we pissed off now?"
"They call themselves Templars. The previous corp of our newest recruits."
"Oh. A Caldari Militia corp war deccing us? That's interesting. Any idea why?" Shalee asked.
"I haven't found out yet, just got word, thought I'd come tell you."
Shalee nodded. "Thanks. I'll speak with the recruits later, see if I can figure out what is going on."
Brystal hesitated, looking as if she wanted to say something. Shalee stared at her, waiting for her to leave. When she did not, she sighed, "What? You want to say something, so say it," she said with an impatient tone.
The blonde Gallente dropped her gaze and clasped her slender fingers together. A moment of silence hung between them as she gathered up her courage, "...some of the pilots are worried."
"About?"
"There have been some rumors...about Aldrith missing. Some are saying that maybe VETO has something to do with his disappearance. That you must know something about it because you've suddenly barred VETO pilots on the premise."
"Oh for fucks sake. I did that because one of the VETO pilots almost killed Math'ra Hiede outside our front doors. Once I have word from Verone that it has been handled, then I'll lift the ban. But not until then," Shalee said.
Brystal nodded, "Perhaps you should issue some kind of statement to the corporation."
"I will. Any other gossip I should be aware of?"
"Non...well..." Brystal hesitated again, hating to be the bearer of bad news. "Raphael has stopped logging flight hours and...well."
"Let me guess. That is my fault too? I assure you that if Raphael cannot find the time or dedication to serve the Empire that is no fault of my own. I am not responsible for him."
"I know." Brystal shrugged demurely. "I just thought you'd like to know."
"Sure. Thanks."
Shalee turned, waiting to hear Brystal's waning footsteps crunching in the snow before taking aim at the makeshift dummy, renaming it Raphael the Jerk as she unloaded her frustration in the form of fourteen precise rounds into the target's crotch.
She reloaded and fired again as the conversation with Raphael ran through her mind...
***
"I want to know what I am to you. Why, when I'm the one who's hurt you the least, I'm treated the worst." Raphael asked, standing in front of her in the Keep's cathedral, arms crossed.
"You're not treated 'the worst'. But you want things I cannot give right now."
"When can you?"
She eyed him curiously. "You want me to give you some time that I can commit? It's not going to happen like that, I don't know if I ever can commit to anyone anymore."
His face flashed with fury, "I didn't do a goddamn thing to you! I walked out of that cabin because you greeted my return with news of your sleeping at Zentons. And you...." he shook his head, almost speechless, "you put it on the same level as Eran's aiding the enemy's efforts against you and Zenton's destruction of your property. What is wrong with you!?"
"I do not. But things have changed..." She whispered with frustration.
"Yes, things have changed. You have no sense of gravity or responsibility any more. I don't even know who the fuck you are anymore," he accused.
She widened her eyes, her temper elevating, matching his own. "The fuck I don't have a sense of responsibility? I have been busting my ass keeping this corp together while fighting this war!How dare you say such a thing. How dare you."
"And look what's happened! Reds prancing about our very headquarters, ex-milita members hunting our Knights. A very fine job you've done!"
She glared at him. "The rules of the Keep have been set by our CEO, that is not my doing, and how dare you blame me for Zenton war deccing us!"
"Don't give me that shit, Shalee. I know you share his views of who should be alllowed in. Hell, he wanted fewer reds in there than you did! What about Muskells? He left under your supervision and now hunts us the very same."
"You don't know anything at all. I'm the one who has tightened the security here. God, you're pathetic, and if you really believe I'm doing such a poor job then leave."
"And now you're making a goddamn mockery of yourself for the entire cluster to see!" He said, showing her his datapad of her recent words on the IGS.
She rolled her eyes.
"That's exactly the response I expected from you. You used to have some self respect, and people could respect you. Now you've just made yourself a goddamn sideshow for all to enjoy."
Her face flushed with hot anger as she looked away, "Go to hell."
"Is there no part of the woman I fell in love with left in there?"
"Stop living in the past, Raphael."
"The past is the only place where you're not a goddamn joke anymore."
She stared at the stained glass window across the room. "If that's what you really think of me....then I don't know why you are even here."
"I came here because I thought I could get you back, thought I could stop you from going down this road you're travelling. When Eran betrayed you, he betrayed you, I thought that was my chance. But like an idiot you went running back to him. You let him back in, and now taunt me with his very presence. I didn't do anything close to what he or Zenton did, yet I'm the one being trampled into the dirt. You told me you loved me, but I mistakenly believed that it was the kind of love you used to have for me, and not the love you have for your favorite pair of shoes. I'm tired of the way you've treated me, the way you're treating me now, and you're non-answers and lies. I did nothing, nothing, to deserve what you've done to me."
She tilted her chin up defenisvely as her eyes watered, though she did not cry. "How dare you speak to me like this," she said in a very low voice. "You are so god damned selfish, I can't believe you are even saying such a thing to me, after all I have given to this Empire. To this war. To this corp. To you. I gave myself to you and you fucked it up and I can't let it go. Yes I love you but I've said all along that I'm NOT going to be involved in another relationship. Not exclusively, not with you."
"The only thing I fucked up was coming back. I should've known then that you were goddamn insane. And now you lend yourself out to whoever catches your fancy, making public offers for sexual liasons. The woman I fell for is dead. Gone. And you are still in a relationship. I can't go 2 jumps without hearing you called "Eran's woman." But go, you two deserve each other. He betrayed everyone and you betrayed me. The two traitors, together forever."
She shoved past him and stormed toward the exit, yelling as she pushed the doors open, "You're a goddamned bastard." She looked over her shoulder at him, "You don't have the slightest fucking clue about anything."
The door slammed behind her.
Evening sunlight illuminated her lithe form as she stood with both hands cupped around the hilt of a custom built, .50 semi-auto pistol.
The light caught on the embedded gems that formed the KOTMC logo and splashed a prism of color across her face. She squinched her eyes and turned, quickly taking aim at a target across the snow covered field.
Sound exploded as she unloaded fourteen rounds of armour piercing into a makeshift dummy that she'd nicknamed Zenton the Bastard.
As she reloaded the clip, a sound behind her caught her attention. She turned swiftly with the gun aimed steadily.
"Goddammit, don't sneak up on me like that," Shalee snapped.
"S-sorry," Brystal studdered.
"It's alright. So what's up?" Shalee asked as she lowered the gun.
"We've another war dec."
"Oh? So what are we up to now, five?" She rolled her eyes, "So who have we pissed off now?"
"They call themselves Templars. The previous corp of our newest recruits."
"Oh. A Caldari Militia corp war deccing us? That's interesting. Any idea why?" Shalee asked.
"I haven't found out yet, just got word, thought I'd come tell you."
Shalee nodded. "Thanks. I'll speak with the recruits later, see if I can figure out what is going on."
Brystal hesitated, looking as if she wanted to say something. Shalee stared at her, waiting for her to leave. When she did not, she sighed, "What? You want to say something, so say it," she said with an impatient tone.
The blonde Gallente dropped her gaze and clasped her slender fingers together. A moment of silence hung between them as she gathered up her courage, "...some of the pilots are worried."
"About?"
"There have been some rumors...about Aldrith missing. Some are saying that maybe VETO has something to do with his disappearance. That you must know something about it because you've suddenly barred VETO pilots on the premise."
"Oh for fucks sake. I did that because one of the VETO pilots almost killed Math'ra Hiede outside our front doors. Once I have word from Verone that it has been handled, then I'll lift the ban. But not until then," Shalee said.
Brystal nodded, "Perhaps you should issue some kind of statement to the corporation."
"I will. Any other gossip I should be aware of?"
"Non...well..." Brystal hesitated again, hating to be the bearer of bad news. "Raphael has stopped logging flight hours and...well."
"Let me guess. That is my fault too? I assure you that if Raphael cannot find the time or dedication to serve the Empire that is no fault of my own. I am not responsible for him."
"I know." Brystal shrugged demurely. "I just thought you'd like to know."
"Sure. Thanks."
Shalee turned, waiting to hear Brystal's waning footsteps crunching in the snow before taking aim at the makeshift dummy, renaming it Raphael the Jerk as she unloaded her frustration in the form of fourteen precise rounds into the target's crotch.
She reloaded and fired again as the conversation with Raphael ran through her mind...
***
"I want to know what I am to you. Why, when I'm the one who's hurt you the least, I'm treated the worst." Raphael asked, standing in front of her in the Keep's cathedral, arms crossed.
"You're not treated 'the worst'. But you want things I cannot give right now."
"When can you?"
She eyed him curiously. "You want me to give you some time that I can commit? It's not going to happen like that, I don't know if I ever can commit to anyone anymore."
His face flashed with fury, "I didn't do a goddamn thing to you! I walked out of that cabin because you greeted my return with news of your sleeping at Zentons. And you...." he shook his head, almost speechless, "you put it on the same level as Eran's aiding the enemy's efforts against you and Zenton's destruction of your property. What is wrong with you!?"
"I do not. But things have changed..." She whispered with frustration.
"Yes, things have changed. You have no sense of gravity or responsibility any more. I don't even know who the fuck you are anymore," he accused.
She widened her eyes, her temper elevating, matching his own. "The fuck I don't have a sense of responsibility? I have been busting my ass keeping this corp together while fighting this war!How dare you say such a thing. How dare you."
"And look what's happened! Reds prancing about our very headquarters, ex-milita members hunting our Knights. A very fine job you've done!"
She glared at him. "The rules of the Keep have been set by our CEO, that is not my doing, and how dare you blame me for Zenton war deccing us!"
"Don't give me that shit, Shalee. I know you share his views of who should be alllowed in. Hell, he wanted fewer reds in there than you did! What about Muskells? He left under your supervision and now hunts us the very same."
"You don't know anything at all. I'm the one who has tightened the security here. God, you're pathetic, and if you really believe I'm doing such a poor job then leave."
"And now you're making a goddamn mockery of yourself for the entire cluster to see!" He said, showing her his datapad of her recent words on the IGS.
She rolled her eyes.
"That's exactly the response I expected from you. You used to have some self respect, and people could respect you. Now you've just made yourself a goddamn sideshow for all to enjoy."
Her face flushed with hot anger as she looked away, "Go to hell."
"Is there no part of the woman I fell in love with left in there?"
"Stop living in the past, Raphael."
"The past is the only place where you're not a goddamn joke anymore."
She stared at the stained glass window across the room. "If that's what you really think of me....then I don't know why you are even here."
"I came here because I thought I could get you back, thought I could stop you from going down this road you're travelling. When Eran betrayed you, he betrayed you, I thought that was my chance. But like an idiot you went running back to him. You let him back in, and now taunt me with his very presence. I didn't do anything close to what he or Zenton did, yet I'm the one being trampled into the dirt. You told me you loved me, but I mistakenly believed that it was the kind of love you used to have for me, and not the love you have for your favorite pair of shoes. I'm tired of the way you've treated me, the way you're treating me now, and you're non-answers and lies. I did nothing, nothing, to deserve what you've done to me."
She tilted her chin up defenisvely as her eyes watered, though she did not cry. "How dare you speak to me like this," she said in a very low voice. "You are so god damned selfish, I can't believe you are even saying such a thing to me, after all I have given to this Empire. To this war. To this corp. To you. I gave myself to you and you fucked it up and I can't let it go. Yes I love you but I've said all along that I'm NOT going to be involved in another relationship. Not exclusively, not with you."
"The only thing I fucked up was coming back. I should've known then that you were goddamn insane. And now you lend yourself out to whoever catches your fancy, making public offers for sexual liasons. The woman I fell for is dead. Gone. And you are still in a relationship. I can't go 2 jumps without hearing you called "Eran's woman." But go, you two deserve each other. He betrayed everyone and you betrayed me. The two traitors, together forever."
She shoved past him and stormed toward the exit, yelling as she pushed the doors open, "You're a goddamned bastard." She looked over her shoulder at him, "You don't have the slightest fucking clue about anything."
The door slammed behind her.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Entry 111: Zenton's Betrayal
Hofjaldgund
She'd entered the military complex alone knowing that he was there, she'd just picked him up on directional scan on the accel gate. Federation Navy Comet. Zenton Karvash.
The first man she'd ever loved.
Zenton.
Not an hour earlier he had sent her a message asking to meet her in a bar they used to frequent.
Surely he wouldn't harm her, not while she was alone. Not when he'd have to know all she wanted was to take the plex, not to fight him. Surely he knew.
"Get out of here."
"I'm just here for the plex."
She'd started the burn towards the 'button' only to have him close in on her. It confused her but she wasn't afraid. Not of Zenton, not the man who once told her he would never hurt her, no matter what.
The alarm sounded and she was being warp scrammed before she even realized that he was not going to let her near it.
"Fine. I'll leave", she told herself. She tried to align to the nearest stargate and warp but he hadn't let up.
Was he teasing her? Was this some kind of joke to him?
No.
Cold reality slid down her spine as she watched chunks of armor peel off the sides of her slicer. Seconds later he was dipping into her hull and before the shock fully set in, there was a bright explosion.
She finally had the bearings to at least warp out before he podded her as well.
Oh god Zenton what have you done...Why?
She was numb when she finally docked up in Lantorn, having travelled there by instinct.
A message flashed across her neocomm from him, "Consider me KOS."
She'd entered the military complex alone knowing that he was there, she'd just picked him up on directional scan on the accel gate. Federation Navy Comet. Zenton Karvash.
The first man she'd ever loved.
Zenton.
Not an hour earlier he had sent her a message asking to meet her in a bar they used to frequent.
Surely he wouldn't harm her, not while she was alone. Not when he'd have to know all she wanted was to take the plex, not to fight him. Surely he knew.
"Get out of here."
"I'm just here for the plex."
She'd started the burn towards the 'button' only to have him close in on her. It confused her but she wasn't afraid. Not of Zenton, not the man who once told her he would never hurt her, no matter what.
The alarm sounded and she was being warp scrammed before she even realized that he was not going to let her near it.
"Fine. I'll leave", she told herself. She tried to align to the nearest stargate and warp but he hadn't let up.
Was he teasing her? Was this some kind of joke to him?
No.
Cold reality slid down her spine as she watched chunks of armor peel off the sides of her slicer. Seconds later he was dipping into her hull and before the shock fully set in, there was a bright explosion.
She finally had the bearings to at least warp out before he podded her as well.
Oh god Zenton what have you done...Why?
She was numb when she finally docked up in Lantorn, having travelled there by instinct.
A message flashed across her neocomm from him, "Consider me KOS."
Friday, September 24, 2010
Entry 110: Old Lovers & New Wars
The young pilot exited the Imperial Hangar and made her way down the dimly lit corridors of the 24th station in Huola.
It was 'night'. Simulated, anyhow. There was no defining moment of time in space, no sunlight to mark the day, no sunset to bring upon evening, no soft moonlight to announce the midnight hour. She was likely to see at least ten sunsets falling across various planets during her patrols. She'd warp past a dozen or more moons while prowling for the enemy, and the stars, they were constant.
The halls were quiet despite the crush of pilots flowing down the corridors, some making their way to the hangars for morning patrols, others just getting off of duty.
She nodded to a few familiar faces of the militia, men and women she flew with almost nightly but barely knew out of pod. Tonight her expression was more curious as she really studied some of their faces, wondering which of them were being paid off by the Minmatar.
No doubt there were spies among those faces.
Probably some Star Fraction spies as well. She knew they employed a few, had proof of it when she'd said something in the militia channel about the annoying alliance and within a minute, her words were sent back to her with a message, "We love you too."
Not that she cared...much, anyhow. Of course it was a nuisance, but then again, that was the way of militia. There were a handful of people you'd trust with your life and the rest, you just prayed they weren't selling out the location of your fleet for a few ISK.
Despite all the subterfuge and betrayals, the Amarr Militia still managed to dominate the field more often than not.
She turned the corner and stopped off at a viewing area, slumping down onto one of the stiff benches and sat indian style while she pulled out her neo-comm, having a look at her piled up messages.
Frowning, she read each of the notifications from Zenton Karvash involving her personal standings with him. Once upon a time she would have never imagined that he could ever fire upon her, but now the grim reality of what they had become blinked in front of her.
Two notifications, the first setting her to terrible standings. A few hours later he had rescinded the terrible standings and marked her as neutral. Had he felt guilt? What was his intentions, anyhow?
The next message answered the question.
Hours after he'd changed her status, war was declared.
She frowned deeply. Zenton? At war with KOTMC. With her.
Zenton Karvash. Her Zenton. Memories crashed through her mind like a tidal wave. So many moments spent with him, so much love given, so much heartbreak taken. He had been her first love, a man who had taken her under his wing when she'd joined PIE, he'd taught her so many things. How to fly, how to trust, to love.
A feeling of dread overwhelmed her as she remembered...
"You were a murderer for pleasure and did it without remorse, you took pleasure in it...and then you left me and I thought we were over."
"I did ...and I don't know why.. I have no explanation. I had no remorse at the time but when I spoke to you ... the shame of what I had done caught me and I couldn't stay..."
"I wish you hadn't of left me.."
"I haven't left you..."
"What do you want Zenton."
"What do I want?"
"Yes. What do you want. From life...from me..."
"I want to spend it with you, and for us both to be happy no matter where we are. I love you Shalee ... you're all that matters in my life."
...and now he wanted to kill her? It made little sense. Granted they had drifted apart. She wasn't even sure when it had happened or why. Had it been because of Eran?
She tried to force him from her mind by reading the rest of her messages. Two other war decs, bringing the total up to four. Absently she read the reports from CONCORD and mentally dismissed them. Star Fraction declared war. Big deal, not like she wasn't already at war with them, her waning security status was proof of that. The other corp was unfamiliar, but after checking into it, she realized it was quite small.
Shrugging to herself, she skimmed through her personal messages. One from her missing CEO caught her eye:
Dear Shalee,
First I must apologize for my disappearance; I never expected to be gone so long, but alas it looks very much as though I will be trapped for much longer, lest I am granted some odd mercy by my current 'captors'. I have not truly been kidnapped so to speak but I may as well have been by most standards. I have limited time with which to access the galnet and have taken most of it to attempt to sort out most of the more pressing matters facing the Knighthood at the moment. I owe you an explanation, even if it is a brief and brutal one for now. Please, whatever I write here, do not yet repeat to anyone else, especially Mitara. I have already sent her a message promising to explain everything in the detail she deserves.
Simply put Shalee, I have been sent to war. Not what we do as capsuleers, but planet side. No stations, no ships, and no pod. I must be honest with you; I could very well die before I am allowed to leave. Should that happen, the Knighthood is yours to do with as you will. Take up the mantle of leadership or disband it, it is up to you, but you are the only person I can trust with the responsibility for now. I can only imagine how stressful this all must be for you, but as long as I am alive I will attempt to guide you through letters or comms.
Again, I am sorry for all of this, and I will attempt to explain what has happened more throughly next time I get the chance. Hopefully I'll be able to negotiate something with my leader so that I may get into space now and again and attend to pressing corporate matters, but there is no guarantee.
I have faith in you, Shalee. Be strong, for the whole Knighthood.
- Aldrith
She turned her neocomm off, leaving several messages unread. It was too much, far too much to deal with. Betrayals and possible deaths and all the added responsibility of the corp.
Stretching out on the bench, she turned her head and stared off into the inky darkness of space, trying to calm down.
Aldrith had faith in her?
"What the fuck am I going to do?" she muttered under her breath. "I can't even manage my own life, how can I suddenly be responsible for everyone elses in the corp?"
It was 'night'. Simulated, anyhow. There was no defining moment of time in space, no sunlight to mark the day, no sunset to bring upon evening, no soft moonlight to announce the midnight hour. She was likely to see at least ten sunsets falling across various planets during her patrols. She'd warp past a dozen or more moons while prowling for the enemy, and the stars, they were constant.
The halls were quiet despite the crush of pilots flowing down the corridors, some making their way to the hangars for morning patrols, others just getting off of duty.
She nodded to a few familiar faces of the militia, men and women she flew with almost nightly but barely knew out of pod. Tonight her expression was more curious as she really studied some of their faces, wondering which of them were being paid off by the Minmatar.
No doubt there were spies among those faces.
Probably some Star Fraction spies as well. She knew they employed a few, had proof of it when she'd said something in the militia channel about the annoying alliance and within a minute, her words were sent back to her with a message, "We love you too."
Not that she cared...much, anyhow. Of course it was a nuisance, but then again, that was the way of militia. There were a handful of people you'd trust with your life and the rest, you just prayed they weren't selling out the location of your fleet for a few ISK.
Despite all the subterfuge and betrayals, the Amarr Militia still managed to dominate the field more often than not.
She turned the corner and stopped off at a viewing area, slumping down onto one of the stiff benches and sat indian style while she pulled out her neo-comm, having a look at her piled up messages.
Frowning, she read each of the notifications from Zenton Karvash involving her personal standings with him. Once upon a time she would have never imagined that he could ever fire upon her, but now the grim reality of what they had become blinked in front of her.
Two notifications, the first setting her to terrible standings. A few hours later he had rescinded the terrible standings and marked her as neutral. Had he felt guilt? What was his intentions, anyhow?
The next message answered the question.
Hours after he'd changed her status, war was declared.
She frowned deeply. Zenton? At war with KOTMC. With her.
Zenton Karvash. Her Zenton. Memories crashed through her mind like a tidal wave. So many moments spent with him, so much love given, so much heartbreak taken. He had been her first love, a man who had taken her under his wing when she'd joined PIE, he'd taught her so many things. How to fly, how to trust, to love.
A feeling of dread overwhelmed her as she remembered...
"You were a murderer for pleasure and did it without remorse, you took pleasure in it...and then you left me and I thought we were over."
"I did ...and I don't know why.. I have no explanation. I had no remorse at the time but when I spoke to you ... the shame of what I had done caught me and I couldn't stay..."
"I wish you hadn't of left me.."
"I haven't left you..."
"What do you want Zenton."
"What do I want?"
"Yes. What do you want. From life...from me..."
"I want to spend it with you, and for us both to be happy no matter where we are. I love you Shalee ... you're all that matters in my life."
...and now he wanted to kill her? It made little sense. Granted they had drifted apart. She wasn't even sure when it had happened or why. Had it been because of Eran?
She tried to force him from her mind by reading the rest of her messages. Two other war decs, bringing the total up to four. Absently she read the reports from CONCORD and mentally dismissed them. Star Fraction declared war. Big deal, not like she wasn't already at war with them, her waning security status was proof of that. The other corp was unfamiliar, but after checking into it, she realized it was quite small.
Shrugging to herself, she skimmed through her personal messages. One from her missing CEO caught her eye:
Dear Shalee,
First I must apologize for my disappearance; I never expected to be gone so long, but alas it looks very much as though I will be trapped for much longer, lest I am granted some odd mercy by my current 'captors'. I have not truly been kidnapped so to speak but I may as well have been by most standards. I have limited time with which to access the galnet and have taken most of it to attempt to sort out most of the more pressing matters facing the Knighthood at the moment. I owe you an explanation, even if it is a brief and brutal one for now. Please, whatever I write here, do not yet repeat to anyone else, especially Mitara. I have already sent her a message promising to explain everything in the detail she deserves.
Simply put Shalee, I have been sent to war. Not what we do as capsuleers, but planet side. No stations, no ships, and no pod. I must be honest with you; I could very well die before I am allowed to leave. Should that happen, the Knighthood is yours to do with as you will. Take up the mantle of leadership or disband it, it is up to you, but you are the only person I can trust with the responsibility for now. I can only imagine how stressful this all must be for you, but as long as I am alive I will attempt to guide you through letters or comms.
Again, I am sorry for all of this, and I will attempt to explain what has happened more throughly next time I get the chance. Hopefully I'll be able to negotiate something with my leader so that I may get into space now and again and attend to pressing corporate matters, but there is no guarantee.
I have faith in you, Shalee. Be strong, for the whole Knighthood.
- Aldrith
She turned her neocomm off, leaving several messages unread. It was too much, far too much to deal with. Betrayals and possible deaths and all the added responsibility of the corp.
Stretching out on the bench, she turned her head and stared off into the inky darkness of space, trying to calm down.
Aldrith had faith in her?
"What the fuck am I going to do?" she muttered under her breath. "I can't even manage my own life, how can I suddenly be responsible for everyone elses in the corp?"
Friday, September 10, 2010
Entry 109: A New Threat
She had warped to a random station in Kourmonen after a small skirmish on an accel gate with an enemy drake pilot. They would have had taken the drake down had it not been for ten of his friends coming to his rescue.
Pred and Mitara had lost their ships, Eran had lost his pod.
It was enough of a reason to call it a night. Plus she was already exhausted from a two night 'grind' out in null sec and the Bleaks to bring up her security status.
Maybe it was karma. She'd teased Sabo about his outlaw status and not even a day later her own had delved beyond negative two that would mark her as a dangerous criminal and keep her out of her beloved Amarr.
Huola had become a hotbed of activity lately with the Star Fraction moving into system and though they were not legally declared war targets, the Knights were encouraged to take them down at any given chance. Even if it meant taking a hit on their sec status.
KOTMC weren't the only ones in the militia who were suffering because of it. Others like PIE, DIA, and 1PG had been joining them on the grind during off duty hours.
Oh how she loathed SF. They were nothing more than vultures in her eyes, nasty little creatures that swept in to pick over kills. She had heard that during a carrier attack off the 24th station, SF were 300 off from the fight, watching until it went down, warping in at the last minute to 'whore' on the kill.
She had more respect for the Tribals than she did the SF. Apparently some of the Tribals felt the same way. She had found herself in a mixed fleet the one night with Minmatar and Amarr, all in a grand scheme to take down a few SF who were reported to be out and about.
The fight never came about due to SF's docking up, but never-the-less, the general feeling was shared by both sides. Star Fraction was an unwanted nuisance that no one wanted around.
Docking permission requested, docking request accepted.
She didn't even feel like going the one jump to Huola to her own apartment, instead she'd crash aboard the Captain's Quarters inside her Harbinger.
As she was getting ready to come out of pod, something in the local comms had caught her eye.
Silence iKillYouu "Shalee Lianne. I'm going to capture you....and Predator or Eran will have to save you."
She rolled her eyes. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic. How did the Minmatar even know of her friendship with Pred out of pod? How had it already become public knowledge. She could understand how they knew about Eran, but there shouldn't have been any connection between her and Pred. Not unless there were some kind of spies at the Keep when he visited, taking note of who she talked to. Who he had talked to.
It was psychological warfare at it's best. To unnerve her. To use her to get to Pred and Eran.
Once out of pod and after the showers, she made her way to her private quarters and slumped down on the bed, pulling out her neocomm. She ran a check on his callsign and found out the very basics of the pilot.
Silence iKillYouu
Current Corporation: Ice Fire Warriors
Sec Status: -1.6
Pod pilot since: 110.02.26
Rank in Minmatar Militia: Venge Captain
Total kills in Minmatar Militia: 1238
She wrinkled up her nose. Double her kills. A more experienced pilot who flew with the enemy 'late night' fleet. Not that she ever really remembered running across him before, but apparently she had. There were several records of him laying the final blow against her harbingers.
So what was a Khadid doing flying with the Minmatar anyhow? And how had she come to his attention specifically? What kind of game was he trying to play? Did he really mean to capture her. Hold her for ransom? Worse?
It was unnerving...but surely that was his intention.
"Well." she muttered to herself as she turned off her neocomm, her expression determined. "You're gonna have to catch me first..."
Pred and Mitara had lost their ships, Eran had lost his pod.
It was enough of a reason to call it a night. Plus she was already exhausted from a two night 'grind' out in null sec and the Bleaks to bring up her security status.
Maybe it was karma. She'd teased Sabo about his outlaw status and not even a day later her own had delved beyond negative two that would mark her as a dangerous criminal and keep her out of her beloved Amarr.
Huola had become a hotbed of activity lately with the Star Fraction moving into system and though they were not legally declared war targets, the Knights were encouraged to take them down at any given chance. Even if it meant taking a hit on their sec status.
KOTMC weren't the only ones in the militia who were suffering because of it. Others like PIE, DIA, and 1PG had been joining them on the grind during off duty hours.
Oh how she loathed SF. They were nothing more than vultures in her eyes, nasty little creatures that swept in to pick over kills. She had heard that during a carrier attack off the 24th station, SF were 300 off from the fight, watching until it went down, warping in at the last minute to 'whore' on the kill.
She had more respect for the Tribals than she did the SF. Apparently some of the Tribals felt the same way. She had found herself in a mixed fleet the one night with Minmatar and Amarr, all in a grand scheme to take down a few SF who were reported to be out and about.
The fight never came about due to SF's docking up, but never-the-less, the general feeling was shared by both sides. Star Fraction was an unwanted nuisance that no one wanted around.
Docking permission requested, docking request accepted.
She didn't even feel like going the one jump to Huola to her own apartment, instead she'd crash aboard the Captain's Quarters inside her Harbinger.
As she was getting ready to come out of pod, something in the local comms had caught her eye.
Silence iKillYouu "Shalee Lianne. I'm going to capture you....and Predator or Eran will have to save you."
She rolled her eyes. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic. How did the Minmatar even know of her friendship with Pred out of pod? How had it already become public knowledge. She could understand how they knew about Eran, but there shouldn't have been any connection between her and Pred. Not unless there were some kind of spies at the Keep when he visited, taking note of who she talked to. Who he had talked to.
It was psychological warfare at it's best. To unnerve her. To use her to get to Pred and Eran.
Once out of pod and after the showers, she made her way to her private quarters and slumped down on the bed, pulling out her neocomm. She ran a check on his callsign and found out the very basics of the pilot.
Silence iKillYouu
Current Corporation: Ice Fire Warriors
Sec Status: -1.6
Pod pilot since: 110.02.26
Rank in Minmatar Militia: Venge Captain
Total kills in Minmatar Militia: 1238
She wrinkled up her nose. Double her kills. A more experienced pilot who flew with the enemy 'late night' fleet. Not that she ever really remembered running across him before, but apparently she had. There were several records of him laying the final blow against her harbingers.
So what was a Khadid doing flying with the Minmatar anyhow? And how had she come to his attention specifically? What kind of game was he trying to play? Did he really mean to capture her. Hold her for ransom? Worse?
It was unnerving...but surely that was his intention.
"Well." she muttered to herself as she turned off her neocomm, her expression determined. "You're gonna have to catch me first..."
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Entry 108: Impulsive Confessions
"Why do you look so sullen?" she asked Predator Elite as he neared both her and Raphael as they sat by the fireplace in the Keep, having a drink after patrols.
Pred took a chair near them, "I just have a lot on my mind ... I might not stay."
"Understandable," Raphael said just before tipping his glass back, taking a sip.
"You should stay, have a drink," said Shalee as she smiled at Pred, not catching on to what he was really trying to say.
"Don't keep him from his duties now." Raphael countered.
Pred turned to Raphael, "Is it really understandable?
"That you have a lot on your mind? Of course." said Raphael as he finished off his drink and ordered another.
"Is something the matter, Pred?" Shalee asked, her expression etched with concern.
"Some .... friends are returning, and I may join them," Pred said as he motioned over the server to place his order.
"Invite them here? We can make a party of it," Shalee said, holding up her drink in mock toast. "The more the merrier."
Raphael looked at Predator curiously. "I take it they're not concerned with the Crusade?"
Shalee frowned suddenly. "...oh."
"They are not.... they are mercs." Pred said with a hint of uncertainty at how the news would be received.
She frowned even deeper, "Mercs."
Raphael Saint gave a silent nod.
Shalee Lianne shook her head in disbelief, "You're leaving the war to be a mercenary...."
Raphael whispered to Shalee. "He was always interested in ISK..."
"My purpose is to kill people, a merc is what I am," he said grimly.
Zoarial entered into the Hall and noticed a few people gathered around the fireplace. He made his way over, "Hey.... I'm probably gonna be shipping out soon, what do you say to one final drink before I go? For old time sakes? I may never see you again."
"You're leaving too?" Shalee's eyes widened.
Pred turned to Zoarial, "Leaving?"
Raphael shook his head. "Is Core Impulse falling apart?"
"Yeah I've been searching for different positions for a while now. I feel that I may have over stayed my welcome here in CORIM and it may be time..." Zoarial confessed.
"I don't blame you" Pred admitted, "Where are you looking?"
"Pirate alliance with null sec ties, not sure yet. Might stick here and solo for a bit but maybe it's time I find somewhere else and make a name for myself in this sandbox." Zoarial said.
She couldn't quite hide her disappointment. "I see. Of course. Of-fucking-course." She stood suddenly, glaring at them both. "It's all about ISK. Killing. Nothing else matters."
Pred turned to Shalee, "Isk has nothing to do with this."
"So...being protectors of the Empire just wasn't good enough?" Shalee said, hands on her hips, blue gaze hot and angry as she glared at them.
"Shalee no. It's not like that at all. I'm looking for a place to fly with friends and make a name for myself... and I can't do that here anymore." Zoarial took a sip of his drink, "Most of you guys have been great so I'll ask, what do you say to one final night of drinking before I decide to take leave?"
"Being a leader of the Amarr Militia matters. Do you even know how many pilots look up to the two of you?" she exclaimed.
"I haven't made my choice yet.." Pred voiced.
"Excuse me Shalee...but they don't look up to me, they never have. And as long as I'm in the shadow of this guy," Zoarial rested his hand on Pred's shoulder, "I'll never be..."
Pred turned to Zoarial, "You know I'm good for a drink."
Zoarial grinned, "Ah first good news all day." He called over a server.
"I'll drink with you," Raphael volunteered.
"Awesome. Please join us." Zoarial said.
Shalee laid her hand against her stomach feeling as if she couldn't quite catch her breath. "I can't believe this." She started to pace the room moving away from all of them, unable to believe how well everyone was taking the news. As if their departures wouldn't have massive consequences for the Amarrian militia.
"Shalee please... come sit. Nothing's in stone for either of us, but we both need things and I have run out of resons to stay. Not all of us have had you by our sides this whole time.... some of us have only had ourselves..." He dropped his head, "So please join us?
Pred paced over to Shalee and placed his hand against her shoulder, "It's alright," he whispered.
"It's nothing you haven't dealt with before, Shalee." Raphael replied.
Shalee tipped her chin up, looking Pred in the eye, searching his face as if some kind of comprehension could be found there, some kind of answers that made sense. "What are you looking for out there? What do you think you're going to find? You want glory? You already have it here. You want fame? How many people know you and admire you. You want ISK? You can make it here. You have everything here already."
"It's not about that Shalee."
"Then what's it about?" She asked, gazing at him with dismay. "Never mind. Whatever. Go. Just go, it doesn't matter. You're just like all the others." She said heavily.
Zoarial turned to Raphael, "I think this one is hitting a little closer to home."
Raphael responded wryly, "Not at all, you'd be surprised."
"Raphael you'd be surprised about what I know..." Zoarial said with a stern stare.
Raphael looked at Zoarial, taking that as a challenge. "Oh, versed in her history now, are you? I think you presume too much."
"I presume nothing, only interpret the results." He smirked to Raph then headed over to Shalee and Pred. "For god's sake man just tell her the truth, you owe her that much."
Pred glanced to Zoarial, "Not now."
"The truth? What truth?" She questioned.
"If not now, when? When it's to late? When we have left her and may never see her again? When is the time if not now?" Zoarial said.
Shalee looked from Zoarial to Pred, "Tell me what? What else could you possibly tell me? You've already broken my heart."
"I ... can't tell you here," Pred whispered.
Zoarial looked down, staring at the floor, "The truth Predator. Tell her the truth. If not for her then do it as a final good bye to an old wingman."
"Do you have a minute to talk in private?" Pred asked her.
She nodded, "Yes." She gave an uncertain glace towards Zoarial on her way out of the room, fearing something horrible. "Follow me," she said to Pred, leading him through the oak doors, further into the Keep.
***
Shalee led him into the turret, her personal chambers at Mercy's Keep, and closed the door once he was inside. Moving to a sofa by the window, she slid down onto it and waited as he took a seat beside her. She stared at him.
"Have you noticed that I act different when I am around you?" he asked, breaking the silence.
"I don't think that you do, really."
"Well .... I like you," he confessed.
"Well of course you do. I like you too. We fly together so much..." She eyed him curiously, trying to relax, expecting more bad news.
"I might like you more then you think I do," he said, holding her gaze.
She looked looked at him for a long moment. "...how do you mean?"
"Well for starters... you remind me of my ex-wife."
She frowned suddenly. "Oh." She glanced down as she folded her hands together. "I see."
He looked disappointed, "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have brought that up," he tried to apologize.
"...No it's.. just...you say I remind you of someone else. And in the same breath you say you like me...is that why you like me? Because you miss her and think I am some kind of replacement?"
"No not at all. I like you because you are you."
"What does that have to do with you leaving?" She asked, staring at him, trying to make sense of it.
"I don't want to leave because of it."
"Then why are you leaving?"
"I have not said that I am leaving just yet have I?"
"But you're considering it....I just wish you wouldn't go. You've changed everything for me...I will be nothing when you leave."
"I'm just not sure how you feel," he said, searching her face.
"But you know I don't want you to leave, surely you must know that," she professed.
"Yes I know that ...but you have a good life here with the militia." He hesitated, "And Eran. I just feel like ...."
"...feel like?"
"I feel like you wouldn't take me and stay with Eran."
She tilted her head to the side, looking at him intently. "You want to be with me? Like that...? Like...in that way...like...you..and me...and we would..." She stuttered.
"As I said I should not have brought it up." He stood and paced to the other side of the room.
She quickly stood and followed him, "Pred it's just...unexpected. I never knew..." She exhaled a soft breath, thinking.
"I know which is why I should have never brought it up," she questioned.
"Are you saying that if I leave Eran and was with you...you would stay?"
"I would never force that choice on you," he admitted.
"But is that true?"
"I still may stay even if you stay with Eran," he answered softly.
She looked relieved, "Really? I want you to stay so badly...I really just can't imagine this war without you in it...or my life without you in it. If you leave everything will be different."
He turned to Shalee, "Everything will be alright," he uttered softly.
She shook her head, "No, it wont. Not if you leave."
"Why wont it be the same? The militia doesn't look to me anymore," he explained.
"Yes it does. You know it does. You have done so much for the militia."
"Perhaps... but I still feel like I should not have brought this up."
"To tell me you have feelings then tell me you are leaving most likely...I don't know what to make of it," she told him.
"I know ...that's why I was afraid of bringing it up. If not for Zoarial I wouldn't have."
"No...thank you for telling me...I just...I need to think about things," she said softly.
"I understand, and I am sorry for letting this out, for complicating things."
"It's okay...I just don't want you to ...like me, because of her."
"You have my word it has nothing to do with her."
"How long have you had feelings?"
"For awhile."
"But...why haven't you told me before?"
"I saw you ... you were busy and stressed beyond belief. I did not want to put more pressure on you."
Nodding, "Oh, I see." She neared him, closing the distance, and reached for his hand, curling her fingers around his, "You know that I have feelings for you too...I just need to think about things."
He tightened his fingers around hers while looking her in the eye, "Take your time and seriously think about this... I'll be waiting."
"I will." She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his very lightly before pulling away, "Don't leave militia," she pleaded.
He stared at her for a moment before releasing her hands and heading for the door, "I'll be waiting."
Pred took a chair near them, "I just have a lot on my mind ... I might not stay."
"Understandable," Raphael said just before tipping his glass back, taking a sip.
"You should stay, have a drink," said Shalee as she smiled at Pred, not catching on to what he was really trying to say.
"Don't keep him from his duties now." Raphael countered.
Pred turned to Raphael, "Is it really understandable?
"That you have a lot on your mind? Of course." said Raphael as he finished off his drink and ordered another.
"Is something the matter, Pred?" Shalee asked, her expression etched with concern.
"Some .... friends are returning, and I may join them," Pred said as he motioned over the server to place his order.
"Invite them here? We can make a party of it," Shalee said, holding up her drink in mock toast. "The more the merrier."
Raphael looked at Predator curiously. "I take it they're not concerned with the Crusade?"
Shalee frowned suddenly. "...oh."
"They are not.... they are mercs." Pred said with a hint of uncertainty at how the news would be received.
She frowned even deeper, "Mercs."
Raphael Saint gave a silent nod.
Shalee Lianne shook her head in disbelief, "You're leaving the war to be a mercenary...."
Raphael whispered to Shalee. "He was always interested in ISK..."
"My purpose is to kill people, a merc is what I am," he said grimly.
Zoarial entered into the Hall and noticed a few people gathered around the fireplace. He made his way over, "Hey.... I'm probably gonna be shipping out soon, what do you say to one final drink before I go? For old time sakes? I may never see you again."
"You're leaving too?" Shalee's eyes widened.
Pred turned to Zoarial, "Leaving?"
Raphael shook his head. "Is Core Impulse falling apart?"
"Yeah I've been searching for different positions for a while now. I feel that I may have over stayed my welcome here in CORIM and it may be time..." Zoarial confessed.
"I don't blame you" Pred admitted, "Where are you looking?"
"Pirate alliance with null sec ties, not sure yet. Might stick here and solo for a bit but maybe it's time I find somewhere else and make a name for myself in this sandbox." Zoarial said.
She couldn't quite hide her disappointment. "I see. Of course. Of-fucking-course." She stood suddenly, glaring at them both. "It's all about ISK. Killing. Nothing else matters."
Pred turned to Shalee, "Isk has nothing to do with this."
"So...being protectors of the Empire just wasn't good enough?" Shalee said, hands on her hips, blue gaze hot and angry as she glared at them.
"Shalee no. It's not like that at all. I'm looking for a place to fly with friends and make a name for myself... and I can't do that here anymore." Zoarial took a sip of his drink, "Most of you guys have been great so I'll ask, what do you say to one final night of drinking before I decide to take leave?"
"Being a leader of the Amarr Militia matters. Do you even know how many pilots look up to the two of you?" she exclaimed.
"I haven't made my choice yet.." Pred voiced.
"Excuse me Shalee...but they don't look up to me, they never have. And as long as I'm in the shadow of this guy," Zoarial rested his hand on Pred's shoulder, "I'll never be..."
Pred turned to Zoarial, "You know I'm good for a drink."
Zoarial grinned, "Ah first good news all day." He called over a server.
"I'll drink with you," Raphael volunteered.
"Awesome. Please join us." Zoarial said.
Shalee laid her hand against her stomach feeling as if she couldn't quite catch her breath. "I can't believe this." She started to pace the room moving away from all of them, unable to believe how well everyone was taking the news. As if their departures wouldn't have massive consequences for the Amarrian militia.
"Shalee please... come sit. Nothing's in stone for either of us, but we both need things and I have run out of resons to stay. Not all of us have had you by our sides this whole time.... some of us have only had ourselves..." He dropped his head, "So please join us?
Pred paced over to Shalee and placed his hand against her shoulder, "It's alright," he whispered.
"It's nothing you haven't dealt with before, Shalee." Raphael replied.
Shalee tipped her chin up, looking Pred in the eye, searching his face as if some kind of comprehension could be found there, some kind of answers that made sense. "What are you looking for out there? What do you think you're going to find? You want glory? You already have it here. You want fame? How many people know you and admire you. You want ISK? You can make it here. You have everything here already."
"It's not about that Shalee."
"Then what's it about?" She asked, gazing at him with dismay. "Never mind. Whatever. Go. Just go, it doesn't matter. You're just like all the others." She said heavily.
Zoarial turned to Raphael, "I think this one is hitting a little closer to home."
Raphael responded wryly, "Not at all, you'd be surprised."
"Raphael you'd be surprised about what I know..." Zoarial said with a stern stare.
Raphael looked at Zoarial, taking that as a challenge. "Oh, versed in her history now, are you? I think you presume too much."
"I presume nothing, only interpret the results." He smirked to Raph then headed over to Shalee and Pred. "For god's sake man just tell her the truth, you owe her that much."
Pred glanced to Zoarial, "Not now."
"The truth? What truth?" She questioned.
"If not now, when? When it's to late? When we have left her and may never see her again? When is the time if not now?" Zoarial said.
Shalee looked from Zoarial to Pred, "Tell me what? What else could you possibly tell me? You've already broken my heart."
"I ... can't tell you here," Pred whispered.
Zoarial looked down, staring at the floor, "The truth Predator. Tell her the truth. If not for her then do it as a final good bye to an old wingman."
"Do you have a minute to talk in private?" Pred asked her.
She nodded, "Yes." She gave an uncertain glace towards Zoarial on her way out of the room, fearing something horrible. "Follow me," she said to Pred, leading him through the oak doors, further into the Keep.
***
Shalee led him into the turret, her personal chambers at Mercy's Keep, and closed the door once he was inside. Moving to a sofa by the window, she slid down onto it and waited as he took a seat beside her. She stared at him.
"Have you noticed that I act different when I am around you?" he asked, breaking the silence.
"I don't think that you do, really."
"Well .... I like you," he confessed.
"Well of course you do. I like you too. We fly together so much..." She eyed him curiously, trying to relax, expecting more bad news.
"I might like you more then you think I do," he said, holding her gaze.
She looked looked at him for a long moment. "...how do you mean?"
"Well for starters... you remind me of my ex-wife."
She frowned suddenly. "Oh." She glanced down as she folded her hands together. "I see."
He looked disappointed, "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have brought that up," he tried to apologize.
"...No it's.. just...you say I remind you of someone else. And in the same breath you say you like me...is that why you like me? Because you miss her and think I am some kind of replacement?"
"No not at all. I like you because you are you."
"What does that have to do with you leaving?" She asked, staring at him, trying to make sense of it.
"I don't want to leave because of it."
"Then why are you leaving?"
"I have not said that I am leaving just yet have I?"
"But you're considering it....I just wish you wouldn't go. You've changed everything for me...I will be nothing when you leave."
"I'm just not sure how you feel," he said, searching her face.
"But you know I don't want you to leave, surely you must know that," she professed.
"Yes I know that ...but you have a good life here with the militia." He hesitated, "And Eran. I just feel like ...."
"...feel like?"
"I feel like you wouldn't take me and stay with Eran."
She tilted her head to the side, looking at him intently. "You want to be with me? Like that...? Like...in that way...like...you..and me...and we would..." She stuttered.
"As I said I should not have brought it up." He stood and paced to the other side of the room.
She quickly stood and followed him, "Pred it's just...unexpected. I never knew..." She exhaled a soft breath, thinking.
"I know which is why I should have never brought it up," she questioned.
"Are you saying that if I leave Eran and was with you...you would stay?"
"I would never force that choice on you," he admitted.
"But is that true?"
"I still may stay even if you stay with Eran," he answered softly.
She looked relieved, "Really? I want you to stay so badly...I really just can't imagine this war without you in it...or my life without you in it. If you leave everything will be different."
He turned to Shalee, "Everything will be alright," he uttered softly.
She shook her head, "No, it wont. Not if you leave."
"Why wont it be the same? The militia doesn't look to me anymore," he explained.
"Yes it does. You know it does. You have done so much for the militia."
"Perhaps... but I still feel like I should not have brought this up."
"To tell me you have feelings then tell me you are leaving most likely...I don't know what to make of it," she told him.
"I know ...that's why I was afraid of bringing it up. If not for Zoarial I wouldn't have."
"No...thank you for telling me...I just...I need to think about things," she said softly.
"I understand, and I am sorry for letting this out, for complicating things."
"It's okay...I just don't want you to ...like me, because of her."
"You have my word it has nothing to do with her."
"How long have you had feelings?"
"For awhile."
"But...why haven't you told me before?"
"I saw you ... you were busy and stressed beyond belief. I did not want to put more pressure on you."
Nodding, "Oh, I see." She neared him, closing the distance, and reached for his hand, curling her fingers around his, "You know that I have feelings for you too...I just need to think about things."
He tightened his fingers around hers while looking her in the eye, "Take your time and seriously think about this... I'll be waiting."
"I will." She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his very lightly before pulling away, "Don't leave militia," she pleaded.
He stared at her for a moment before releasing her hands and heading for the door, "I'll be waiting."
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Entry 107: Personal File 9-04-112
Personal Files.
9-04-112
It was just one of those nights on the war front. I really wasn't looking forward to patrols after hearing about the losses from day shift's fleets. With morale down, I knew there would be more chance of a suicide fleet and I really wasn't in the mood to lose a ship for the hell of it.
I don't mind losing, but I prefer not to hand the enemies easy kills and I'd rather have at least a chance of surviving.
I commed Sabotage from the hangar and asked if he was ready to head out but he pretty much had the same mood as I, so we decided to ditch the front for the night.
We ended up in shuttles and set course for the Eve Gate because he'd never been. We were expecting pirate gate camps along the way but it was a relatively quiet journey down, except for Concord chasing Sab through the Amarr and Sarum Prime. Aparrently Sab is now a criminal of some sorts, which I find highly amusing.
After exploring New Eden and the collapsed worm hole, we ventured out into the neighboring systems. Nothing much around those parts except for a black monolith. Sab seemed much more interested in it than I was. Really all I saw was an enormous black box of sorts but it was more profound for him, I think.
Oh well.
We started the journey back, stopping over in Ashab to check out some diner. We encountered a Khanid who was hiring some pilots to do a bit of grunt work. Any fresh-faced grunt straight out of the Academy could have helped the guy out, but..since we were there and had time to kill we said what the hell. We docked up in our shuttles and fitted up a couple of 'noob' ships with whatever we could find on the station market, then headed out.
It was easy enough work and after half an hour we left and headed out to Malkalen to see where a Nyx had crashed into an Ishukone station some years back during a peace summit.
Once I was back on the warfront I fleeted up with Templar, Riso, and Zik Kader from PIE for a while.
On the way back to Huola while passing through Auga, Kuan Yida invited me over. In local. In front of everyone. A part of me wanted to drop by but then I saw Veshta in local as well...
I told Kuan that I probably shouldn't. I don't know why it mattered really, it's not like I'm in PIE any longer or that Veshta could get me in trouble, if she even cared.
But still.
And lately there's some rumors circulating around about Kuan and I, just because I met with him once or twice. I don't understand it really. I think everyone is trying to turn him into the 'next Eran'. But it's not like that. He's not like that.
9-04-112
It was just one of those nights on the war front. I really wasn't looking forward to patrols after hearing about the losses from day shift's fleets. With morale down, I knew there would be more chance of a suicide fleet and I really wasn't in the mood to lose a ship for the hell of it.
I don't mind losing, but I prefer not to hand the enemies easy kills and I'd rather have at least a chance of surviving.
I commed Sabotage from the hangar and asked if he was ready to head out but he pretty much had the same mood as I, so we decided to ditch the front for the night.
We ended up in shuttles and set course for the Eve Gate because he'd never been. We were expecting pirate gate camps along the way but it was a relatively quiet journey down, except for Concord chasing Sab through the Amarr and Sarum Prime. Aparrently Sab is now a criminal of some sorts, which I find highly amusing.
After exploring New Eden and the collapsed worm hole, we ventured out into the neighboring systems. Nothing much around those parts except for a black monolith. Sab seemed much more interested in it than I was. Really all I saw was an enormous black box of sorts but it was more profound for him, I think.
Oh well.
We started the journey back, stopping over in Ashab to check out some diner. We encountered a Khanid who was hiring some pilots to do a bit of grunt work. Any fresh-faced grunt straight out of the Academy could have helped the guy out, but..since we were there and had time to kill we said what the hell. We docked up in our shuttles and fitted up a couple of 'noob' ships with whatever we could find on the station market, then headed out.
It was easy enough work and after half an hour we left and headed out to Malkalen to see where a Nyx had crashed into an Ishukone station some years back during a peace summit.
Once I was back on the warfront I fleeted up with Templar, Riso, and Zik Kader from PIE for a while.
On the way back to Huola while passing through Auga, Kuan Yida invited me over. In local. In front of everyone. A part of me wanted to drop by but then I saw Veshta in local as well...
I told Kuan that I probably shouldn't. I don't know why it mattered really, it's not like I'm in PIE any longer or that Veshta could get me in trouble, if she even cared.
But still.
And lately there's some rumors circulating around about Kuan and I, just because I met with him once or twice. I don't understand it really. I think everyone is trying to turn him into the 'next Eran'. But it's not like that. He's not like that.
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