Entry 105: A Bad Day

Static muffled Predator's voice over comms and all she heard was, "Take down the Hurricane."

The Heart of Huola II uncloaked and locked the nearest 'cane, raining down a storm of laser fire into the hull of Torus Nunn of the 8th Order.

"Focus fire, focus fire goddammit I'm going down."

Her target was bleeding into armor as the FC again called primary, "Xirusphere in the Hurricane, focus your goddamned fire."

Fuck. Wincing, she realized she had locked the wrong target and Predator would lose his ship because of it.

Pred's Myrmidon exploded as she locked up the primary, leaving her drones on the other. They managed to clear the field though she couldn't help but feel guilty over Pred going down.

"I'm sorry," she said as she docked up in top station to wait out her GCC, feeling personally responsible for his loss.

It had been a bad day and kept getting worse by the hour.

She rolled her eyes at the dip in her security status. Though it was far from the pirate's coveted negative ten, it was precariously close to making it impossible to enter Amarr.

Over the previous weeks she'd been in too many situations where she had to engage a target that was not clearly defined as an enemy by CONCORD's standards. Thus, she'd been flagged as criminal by CONCORD and had taken a few hits on her security status.

Not that she regretted it in the least. Her rules of engagement were simple. If a fleet member was taking fire, so would she. Her job in the militia was simple. To protect Amarrian sovereignty. Anyone who got in the way of that was an enemy in her eyes, despite what the unscrupulous CONCORD labeled them as.

The FC's she flew under regularly would never demand it, but if they asked for their pilots to take GCC she would always volunteer to do so. She had as much loyality to her commanders, Predator Elite, Zoarial, Jackman, and Invelious as she did to the Empress herself. And now her security status was suffering because of it.

Still disappointed with herself, she readied her Imperial Navy Slicer and headed out to the astroid belts of Arzad to blow off some steam and raise her stats a bit.

She'd left fleet and disengaged from voice comms, wanting nothing more than to be alone while melting a few dozen Sansha ships under her lasers. Over the few jumps from Kourmonen to Arzad, she mused over how relaxing it had become to kill. Mindlessly kill. Some pilots harvested rocks and 'roids, she'd harvest the hulls and blood of the fanatical Sansha.

Once she'd hit the belts, Raphael Saint commed her and asked if she wanted company. She told him no though he showed up in local anyhow, fleeting her up. Moments later her CEO, Aldrith Shutaq, joined them. The trio worked diligently to clear away the belts of both Sansha, pirates, and random war targets.

They returned to Huola after receiving intel that Huola was being invaded by an enemy fleet.

A defensive fleet composed of cruisers quickly formed to take on the Minmatar as they were fleeing they system. The Amarr pursued them to Auga, only to have them undock in battleships.

The Amarrian fleet retreated and reshipped. Moments later the two fleets engaged on the Kourmonen Huola stargate, though the Amarr were unable to hold the field even with the help of Eran Mintor's scimitar.

Orders were given to retreat and dock for the night.

Once inside her Apartment in the 24th station, she sat down with a glass of wine and her journal.

***

Tonight was a clusterfuck. Not only was I responsible for getting Pred shot down, I ended up in an engagement with Kuan and did fire upon him.

After our last meeting I thought maybe I'd be able to avoid such a thing...but with the FC demanding he be taken off the field, what other choice did I have but to lock him up and fire? I will not jeopardize the safety of an entire fleet for the misguided feelings of friendship I have for a Minmatar.

Though I did hesitate. Did that make a difference? In the heat of the battle, it is hard to say. Their fleet tonight was well organized and a lot stronger than I've seen them these past few weeks. As organized as we were, we still suffered losses and had to retreat.

I was hoping that after the battle he would initate comms, that he would tell me that he understood that I was only doing my duty...but I imagine he is very disappointed in me.

I don't even know why I care. He should be no one to me, nothing but a faceless name on my overview. A flashing target.

Nothing else.

When I had seen him last, he asked me if I trusted him.

I told him yes.

He then asked to train me.

I told him I would.

I shouldn't allow him, this enemy of mine, to get so close. To know me as a person. He is far more dangerous to me in the flesh than he has ever been in a vessel of war. Several times on the battlefield I've hesitated, I am distracted by his presence. I am failing in my duties to the Amarr ...and now I realize how hard it must have been for Eran.

I am mere 'friends' with Kuan and I am torn between loyality to a friend and loyality to the Empire.

It must have been so much harder for Eran, being torn between the woman he loved and the people he had vowed to protect.

I made a mistake with Eran and he pays the price for it every single day. My selfishness destroyed him....and I just don't want history to repeat itself.