This is the diary & short stories of Shalee Lianne Cerra, in the fictitious universe, New Eden, in the game of Eve Online. Come be a part of her world...

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Entry 111: Zenton's Betrayal


She'd entered the military complex alone knowing that he was there, she'd just picked him up on directional scan on the accel gate. Federation Navy Comet. Zenton Karvash.

The first man she'd ever loved.


Not an hour earlier he had sent her a message asking to meet her in a bar they used to frequent.

Surely he wouldn't harm her, not while she was alone. Not when he'd have to know all she wanted was to take the plex, not to fight him. Surely he knew.

"Get out of here."
"I'm just here for the plex."

She'd started the burn towards the 'button' only to have him close in on her. It confused her but she wasn't afraid. Not of Zenton, not the man who once told her he would never hurt her, no matter what.

The alarm sounded and she was being warp scrammed before she even realized that he was not going to let her near it.

"Fine. I'll leave", she told herself. She tried to align to the nearest stargate and warp but he hadn't let up.

Was he teasing her? Was this some kind of joke to him?


Cold reality slid down her spine as she watched chunks of armor peel off the sides of her slicer. Seconds later he was dipping into her hull and before the shock fully set in, there was a bright explosion.

She finally had the bearings to at least warp out before he podded her as well.

Oh god Zenton what have you done...Why?

She was numb when she finally docked up in Lantorn, having travelled there by instinct.

A message flashed across her neocomm from him, "Consider me KOS."

Friday, September 24, 2010

Entry 110: Old Lovers & New Wars

The young pilot exited the Imperial Hangar and made her way down the dimly lit corridors of the 24th station in Huola.

It was 'night'. Simulated, anyhow. There was no defining moment of time in space, no sunlight to mark the day, no sunset to bring upon evening, no soft moonlight to announce the midnight hour. She was likely to see at least ten sunsets falling across various planets during her patrols. She'd warp past a dozen or more moons while prowling for the enemy, and the stars, they were constant.

The halls were quiet despite the crush of pilots flowing down the corridors, some making their way to the hangars for morning patrols, others just getting off of duty.

She nodded to a few familiar faces of the militia, men and women she flew with almost nightly but barely knew out of pod. Tonight her expression was more curious as she really studied some of their faces, wondering which of them were being paid off by the Minmatar.

No doubt there were spies among those faces.

Probably some Star Fraction spies as well. She knew they employed a few, had proof of it when she'd said something in the militia channel about the annoying alliance and within a minute, her words were sent back to her with a message, "We love you too."

Not that she cared...much, anyhow. Of course it was a nuisance, but then again, that was the way of militia. There were a handful of people you'd trust with your life and the rest, you just prayed they weren't selling out the location of your fleet for a few ISK.

Despite all the subterfuge and betrayals, the Amarr Militia still managed to dominate the field more often than not.

She turned the corner and stopped off at a viewing area, slumping down onto one of the stiff benches and sat indian style while she pulled out her neo-comm, having a look at her piled up messages.

Frowning, she read each of the notifications from Zenton Karvash involving her personal standings with him. Once upon a time she would have never imagined that he could ever fire upon her, but now the grim reality of what they had become blinked in front of her.

Two notifications, the first setting her to terrible standings. A few hours later he had rescinded the terrible standings and marked her as neutral. Had he felt guilt? What was his intentions, anyhow?

The next message answered the question.

Hours after he'd changed her status, war was declared.

She frowned deeply. Zenton? At war with KOTMC. With her.

Zenton Karvash. Her Zenton. Memories crashed through her mind like a tidal wave. So many moments spent with him, so much love given, so much heartbreak taken. He had been her first love, a man who had taken her under his wing when she'd joined PIE, he'd taught her so many things. How to fly, how to trust, to love.

A feeling of dread overwhelmed her as she remembered...

"You were a murderer for pleasure and did it without remorse, you took pleasure in it...and then you left me and I thought we were over."
"I did ...and I don't know why.. I have no explanation. I had no remorse at the time but when I spoke to you ... the shame of what I had done caught me and I couldn't stay..."
"I wish you hadn't of left me.."
"I haven't left you..."
"What do you want Zenton."
"What do I want?"
"Yes. What do you want. From life...from me..."
"I want to spend it with you, and for us both to be happy no matter where we are. I love you Shalee ... you're all that matters in my life."

...and now he wanted to kill her? It made little sense. Granted they had drifted apart. She wasn't even sure when it had happened or why. Had it been because of Eran?

She tried to force him from her mind by reading the rest of her messages. Two other war decs, bringing the total up to four. Absently she read the reports from CONCORD and mentally dismissed them. Star Fraction declared war. Big deal, not like she wasn't already at war with them, her waning security status was proof of that. The other corp was unfamiliar, but after checking into it, she realized it was quite small.

Shrugging to herself, she skimmed through her personal messages. One from her missing CEO caught her eye:

Dear Shalee,
First I must apologize for my disappearance; I never expected to be gone so long, but alas it looks very much as though I will be trapped for much longer, lest I am granted some odd mercy by my current 'captors'. I have not truly been kidnapped so to speak but I may as well have been by most standards. I have limited time with which to access the galnet and have taken most of it to attempt to sort out most of the more pressing matters facing the Knighthood at the moment. I owe you an explanation, even if it is a brief and brutal one for now. Please, whatever I write here, do not yet repeat to anyone else, especially Mitara. I have already sent her a message promising to explain everything in the detail she deserves.

Simply put Shalee, I have been sent to war. Not what we do as capsuleers, but planet side. No stations, no ships, and no pod. I must be honest with you; I could very well die before I am allowed to leave. Should that happen, the Knighthood is yours to do with as you will. Take up the mantle of leadership or disband it, it is up to you, but you are the only person I can trust with the responsibility for now. I can only imagine how stressful this all must be for you, but as long as I am alive I will attempt to guide you through letters or comms.

Again, I am sorry for all of this, and I will attempt to explain what has happened more throughly next time I get the chance. Hopefully I'll be able to negotiate something with my leader so that I may get into space now and again and attend to pressing corporate matters, but there is no guarantee.

I have faith in you, Shalee. Be strong, for the whole Knighthood.
- Aldrith

She turned her neocomm off, leaving several messages unread. It was too much, far too much to deal with. Betrayals and possible deaths and all the added responsibility of the corp.

Stretching out on the bench, she turned her head and stared off into the inky darkness of space, trying to calm down.

Aldrith had faith in her?

"What the fuck am I going to do?" she muttered under her breath. "I can't even manage my own life, how can I suddenly be responsible for everyone elses in the corp?"

Friday, September 10, 2010

Entry 109: A New Threat

She had warped to a random station in Kourmonen after a small skirmish on an accel gate with an enemy drake pilot. They would have had taken the drake down had it not been for ten of his friends coming to his rescue.

Pred and Mitara had lost their ships, Eran had lost his pod.

It was enough of a reason to call it a night. Plus she was already exhausted from a two night 'grind' out in null sec and the Bleaks to bring up her security status.

Maybe it was karma. She'd teased Sabo about his outlaw status and not even a day later her own had delved beyond negative two that would mark her as a dangerous criminal and keep her out of her beloved Amarr.

Huola had become a hotbed of activity lately with the Star Fraction moving into system and though they were not legally declared war targets, the Knights were encouraged to take them down at any given chance. Even if it meant taking a hit on their sec status.

KOTMC weren't the only ones in the militia who were suffering because of it. Others like PIE, DIA, and 1PG had been joining them on the grind during off duty hours.

Oh how she loathed SF. They were nothing more than vultures in her eyes, nasty little creatures that swept in to pick over kills. She had heard that during a carrier attack off the 24th station, SF were 300 off from the fight, watching until it went down, warping in at the last minute to 'whore' on the kill.

She had more respect for the Tribals than she did the SF. Apparently some of the Tribals felt the same way. She had found herself in a mixed fleet the one night with Minmatar and Amarr, all in a grand scheme to take down a few SF who were reported to be out and about.

The fight never came about due to SF's docking up, but never-the-less, the general feeling was shared by both sides. Star Fraction was an unwanted nuisance that no one wanted around.

Docking permission requested, docking request accepted.

She didn't even feel like going the one jump to Huola to her own apartment, instead she'd crash aboard the Captain's Quarters inside her Harbinger.

As she was getting ready to come out of pod, something in the local comms had caught her eye.

Silence iKillYouu "Shalee Lianne. I'm going to capture you....and Predator or Eran will have to save you."

She rolled her eyes. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic. How did the Minmatar even know of her friendship with Pred out of pod? How had it already become public knowledge. She could understand how they knew about Eran, but there shouldn't have been any connection between her and Pred. Not unless there were some kind of spies at the Keep when he visited, taking note of who she talked to. Who he had talked to.

It was psychological warfare at it's best. To unnerve her. To use her to get to Pred and Eran.

Once out of pod and after the showers, she made her way to her private quarters and slumped down on the bed, pulling out her neocomm. She ran a check on his callsign and found out the very basics of the pilot.

Silence iKillYouu
Current Corporation: Ice Fire Warriors
Sec Status: -1.6
Pod pilot since: 110.02.26
Rank in Minmatar Militia: Venge Captain
Total kills in Minmatar Militia: 1238

She wrinkled up her nose. Double her kills. A more experienced pilot who flew with the enemy 'late night' fleet. Not that she ever really remembered running across him before, but apparently she had. There were several records of him laying the final blow against her harbingers.

So what was a Khadid doing flying with the Minmatar anyhow? And how had she come to his attention specifically? What kind of game was he trying to play? Did he really mean to capture her. Hold her for ransom? Worse?

It was unnerving...but surely that was his intention.

"Well." she muttered to herself as she turned off her neocomm, her expression determined. "You're gonna have to catch me first..."

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Entry 108: Impulsive Confessions

"Why do you look so sullen?" she asked Predator Elite as he neared both her and Raphael as they sat by the fireplace in the Keep, having a drink after patrols.

Pred took a chair near them, "I just have a lot on my mind ... I might not stay."

"Understandable," Raphael said just before tipping his glass back, taking a sip.

"You should stay, have a drink," said Shalee as she smiled at Pred, not catching on to what he was really trying to say.

"Don't keep him from his duties now." Raphael countered.

Pred turned to Raphael, "Is it really understandable?

"That you have a lot on your mind? Of course." said Raphael as he finished off his drink and ordered another.

"Is something the matter, Pred?" Shalee asked, her expression etched with concern.

"Some .... friends are returning, and I may join them," Pred said as he motioned over the server to place his order.

"Invite them here? We can make a party of it," Shalee said, holding up her drink in mock toast. "The more the merrier."

Raphael looked at Predator curiously. "I take it they're not concerned with the Crusade?"

Shalee frowned suddenly. "...oh."

"They are not.... they are mercs." Pred said with a hint of uncertainty at how the news would be received.

She frowned even deeper, "Mercs."

Raphael Saint gave a silent nod.

Shalee Lianne shook her head in disbelief, "You're leaving the war to be a mercenary...."

Raphael whispered to Shalee. "He was always interested in ISK..."

"My purpose is to kill people, a merc is what I am," he said grimly.

Zoarial entered into the Hall and noticed a few people gathered around the fireplace. He made his way over, "Hey.... I'm probably gonna be shipping out soon, what do you say to one final drink before I go? For old time sakes? I may never see you again."

"You're leaving too?" Shalee's eyes widened.

Pred turned to Zoarial, "Leaving?"

Raphael shook his head. "Is Core Impulse falling apart?"

"Yeah I've been searching for different positions for a while now. I feel that I may have over stayed my welcome here in CORIM and it may be time..." Zoarial confessed.

"I don't blame you" Pred admitted, "Where are you looking?"

"Pirate alliance with null sec ties, not sure yet. Might stick here and solo for a bit but maybe it's time I find somewhere else and make a name for myself in this sandbox." Zoarial said.

She couldn't quite hide her disappointment. "I see. Of course. Of-fucking-course." She stood suddenly, glaring at them both. "It's all about ISK. Killing. Nothing else matters."

Pred turned to Shalee, "Isk has nothing to do with this."

"So...being protectors of the Empire just wasn't good enough?" Shalee said, hands on her hips, blue gaze hot and angry as she glared at them.

"Shalee no. It's not like that at all. I'm looking for a place to fly with friends and make a name for myself... and I can't do that here anymore." Zoarial took a sip of his drink, "Most of you guys have been great so I'll ask, what do you say to one final night of drinking before I decide to take leave?"

"Being a leader of the Amarr Militia matters. Do you even know how many pilots look up to the two of you?" she exclaimed.

"I haven't made my choice yet.." Pred voiced.

"Excuse me Shalee...but they don't look up to me, they never have. And as long as I'm in the shadow of this guy," Zoarial rested his hand on Pred's shoulder, "I'll never be..."

Pred turned to Zoarial, "You know I'm good for a drink."

Zoarial grinned, "Ah first good news all day." He called over a server.

"I'll drink with you," Raphael volunteered.

"Awesome. Please join us." Zoarial said.

Shalee laid her hand against her stomach feeling as if she couldn't quite catch her breath. "I can't believe this." She started to pace the room moving away from all of them, unable to believe how well everyone was taking the news. As if their departures wouldn't have massive consequences for the Amarrian militia.

"Shalee please... come sit. Nothing's in stone for either of us, but we both need things and I have run out of resons to stay. Not all of us have had you by our sides this whole time.... some of us have only had ourselves..." He dropped his head, "So please join us?

Pred paced over to Shalee and placed his hand against her shoulder, "It's alright," he whispered.

"It's nothing you haven't dealt with before, Shalee." Raphael replied.

Shalee tipped her chin up, looking Pred in the eye, searching his face as if some kind of comprehension could be found there, some kind of answers that made sense. "What are you looking for out there? What do you think you're going to find? You want glory? You already have it here. You want fame? How many people know you and admire you. You want ISK? You can make it here. You have everything here already."

"It's not about that Shalee."

"Then what's it about?" She asked, gazing at him with dismay. "Never mind. Whatever. Go. Just go, it doesn't matter. You're just like all the others." She said heavily.

Zoarial turned to Raphael, "I think this one is hitting a little closer to home."

Raphael responded wryly, "Not at all, you'd be surprised."

"Raphael you'd be surprised about what I know..." Zoarial said with a stern stare.

Raphael looked at Zoarial, taking that as a challenge. "Oh, versed in her history now, are you? I think you presume too much."

"I presume nothing, only interpret the results." He smirked to Raph then headed over to Shalee and Pred. "For god's sake man just tell her the truth, you owe her that much."

Pred glanced to Zoarial, "Not now."

"The truth? What truth?" She questioned.

"If not now, when? When it's to late? When we have left her and may never see her again? When is the time if not now?" Zoarial said.

Shalee looked from Zoarial to Pred, "Tell me what? What else could you possibly tell me? You've already broken my heart."

"I ... can't tell you here," Pred whispered.

Zoarial looked down, staring at the floor, "The truth Predator. Tell her the truth. If not for her then do it as a final good bye to an old wingman."

"Do you have a minute to talk in private?" Pred asked her.

She nodded, "Yes." She gave an uncertain glace towards Zoarial on her way out of the room, fearing something horrible. "Follow me," she said to Pred, leading him through the oak doors, further into the Keep.


Shalee led him into the turret, her personal chambers at Mercy's Keep, and closed the door once he was inside. Moving to a sofa by the window, she slid down onto it and waited as he took a seat beside her. She stared at him.

"Have you noticed that I act different when I am around you?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't think that you do, really."

"Well .... I like you," he confessed.

"Well of course you do. I like you too. We fly together so much..." She eyed him curiously, trying to relax, expecting more bad news.

"I might like you more then you think I do," he said, holding her gaze.

She looked looked at him for a long moment. " do you mean?"

"Well for starters... you remind me of my ex-wife."

She frowned suddenly. "Oh." She glanced down as she folded her hands together. "I see."

He looked disappointed, "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have brought that up," he tried to apologize.

"...No it's.. say I remind you of someone else. And in the same breath you say you like that why you like me? Because you miss her and think I am some kind of replacement?"

"No not at all. I like you because you are you."

"What does that have to do with you leaving?" She asked, staring at him, trying to make sense of it.

"I don't want to leave because of it."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"I have not said that I am leaving just yet have I?"

"But you're considering it....I just wish you wouldn't go. You've changed everything for me...I will be nothing when you leave."

"I'm just not sure how you feel," he said, searching her face.

"But you know I don't want you to leave, surely you must know that," she professed.

"Yes I know that ...but you have a good life here with the militia." He hesitated, "And Eran. I just feel like ...."

"...feel like?"

"I feel like you wouldn't take me and stay with Eran."

She tilted her head to the side, looking at him intently. "You want to be with me? Like that...? that me...and we would..." She stuttered.

"As I said I should not have brought it up." He stood and paced to the other side of the room.

She quickly stood and followed him, "Pred it's just...unexpected. I never knew..." She exhaled a soft breath, thinking.

"I know which is why I should have never brought it up," she questioned.

"Are you saying that if I leave Eran and was with would stay?"

"I would never force that choice on you," he admitted.

"But is that true?"

"I still may stay even if you stay with Eran," he answered softly.

She looked relieved, "Really? I want you to stay so badly...I really just can't imagine this war without you in it...or my life without you in it. If you leave everything will be different."

He turned to Shalee, "Everything will be alright," he uttered softly.

She shook her head, "No, it wont. Not if you leave."

"Why wont it be the same? The militia doesn't look to me anymore," he explained.

"Yes it does. You know it does. You have done so much for the militia."

"Perhaps... but I still feel like I should not have brought this up."

"To tell me you have feelings then tell me you are leaving most likely...I don't know what to make of it," she told him.

"I know ...that's why I was afraid of bringing it up. If not for Zoarial I wouldn't have."

"No...thank you for telling me...I just...I need to think about things," she said softly.

"I understand, and I am sorry for letting this out, for complicating things."

"It's okay...I just don't want you to me, because of her."

"You have my word it has nothing to do with her."

"How long have you had feelings?"

"For awhile."

"But...why haven't you told me before?"

"I saw you ... you were busy and stressed beyond belief. I did not want to put more pressure on you."

Nodding, "Oh, I see." She neared him, closing the distance, and reached for his hand, curling her fingers around his, "You know that I have feelings for you too...I just need to think about things."

He tightened his fingers around hers while looking her in the eye, "Take your time and seriously think about this... I'll be waiting."

"I will." She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his very lightly before pulling away, "Don't leave militia," she pleaded.

He stared at her for a moment before releasing her hands and heading for the door, "I'll be waiting."

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Entry 107: Personal File 9-04-112

Personal Files.

It was just one of those nights on the war front. I really wasn't looking forward to patrols after hearing about the losses from day shift's fleets. With morale down, I knew there would be more chance of a suicide fleet and I really wasn't in the mood to lose a ship for the hell of it.

I don't mind losing, but I prefer not to hand the enemies easy kills and I'd rather have at least a chance of surviving.

I commed Sabotage from the hangar and asked if he was ready to head out but he pretty much had the same mood as I, so we decided to ditch the front for the night.

We ended up in shuttles and set course for the Eve Gate because he'd never been. We were expecting pirate gate camps along the way but it was a relatively quiet journey down, except for Concord chasing Sab through the Amarr and Sarum Prime. Aparrently Sab is now a criminal of some sorts, which I find highly amusing.

After exploring New Eden and the collapsed worm hole, we ventured out into the neighboring systems. Nothing much around those parts except for a black monolith. Sab seemed much more interested in it than I was. Really all I saw was an enormous black box of sorts but it was more profound for him, I think.

Oh well.

We started the journey back, stopping over in Ashab to check out some diner. We encountered a Khanid who was hiring some pilots to do a bit of grunt work. Any fresh-faced grunt straight out of the Academy could have helped the guy out, but..since we were there and had time to kill we said what the hell. We docked up in our shuttles and fitted up a couple of 'noob' ships with whatever we could find on the station market, then headed out.

It was easy enough work and after half an hour we left and headed out to Malkalen to see where a Nyx had crashed into an Ishukone station some years back during a peace summit.

Once I was back on the warfront I fleeted up with Templar, Riso, and Zik Kader from PIE for a while.

On the way back to Huola while passing through Auga, Kuan Yida invited me over. In local. In front of everyone. A part of me wanted to drop by but then I saw Veshta in local as well...

I told Kuan that I probably shouldn't. I don't know why it mattered really, it's not like I'm in PIE any longer or that Veshta could get me in trouble, if she even cared.

But still.

And lately there's some rumors circulating around about Kuan and I, just because I met with him once or twice. I don't understand it really. I think everyone is trying to turn him into the 'next Eran'. But it's not like that. He's not like that.