Entry Ten

Blasphemy and heresy ruled the land. The Lord punished the sinners...-The Scriptures, Book II

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I had every intention of never seeing him again. I had resigned myself to the fact that he is a pirate, an enemy of PIE, a 'scoundrel and a liar', and thought I was done with him.

I had put him from my mind and hadn't given him another thought...until he commed me last night.

I shouldn't have accepted the transmission, I should have killed the connection...but no. I just couldn't help myself. There was something different about him this time. He told me that Melicia had left him on the advice of Laerise.

I was dumbfounded, to say the least. Apparently Laerise is more of a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do kind of girl. God forbid I speak to Koronakesh but she has free reign to get involved in their drama. Molok that.

Anyhow. I tried my best not to let him draw me in. I think he picked up on it. He said "You don't like me, do you?" I told him "I don't like what you've become." There was a bit of back and forth. I explained to him that I thought he was a murderer. He told me I was a 'naive child' and that I'm no better than him, that I shouldn't fool myself into thinking that I'm 'killing people for good reasons'. He killed the comm-link right after telling me that I'm just like 'them'. I'm assuming he means the Praetorians. Ironic that he sees me as one of them, but they do not.

When Kor commed me I was half way out to meeting up with Tyrell. Ty was complaining over the comms about the ridiculous price of an item he needed, though if he bought it at Amarr he would save about 15 million. Since I was one jump out of Amarr, I offered to take it out to him. It was a bit of a hassle actually finding the item on the contracts page, but once I got that sorted I flew out to meet up with him. Eight jumps later he tells me that he doesn't need my help. I wasn't really bothered by it but he insisted on paying for my time. I told him it wasn't necessary but he insisted. I told him no again and then my contracts started flashing. He bought me an Omen.

Of course I kept it, I'm pretty keen on getting out of the punisher. It's not that I mind flying it so much, but the other pilots really don't understand because they can fly so many other ships already, they have choices. I do not. I am limited by my skills which seem to inject at a ridiciously low pace.

So I've decided tonight will be the night I tell Zenton everything. I can't keep this up much longer. When I am with him, it's so easy to forget about the past, forget about the things I've seen...the things I've done. When I am with him I am someone else, I am the person he wants me to be...but it's not fair to him. He says he will love me no matter what....

Naive child.

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