Entry Fourteen: Ranting

Time of infinity to grief our misgivings, time of eternity to stray without God's guidance. - The Scriptures, Kuria 4:23

Activate Log.

The young pilot activated the recording drone as soon as she stepped into the apartment. She started to speak as she undid her cloak.

"Inis activate." The holographic wall flickered in response, displaying the lake that she and Zenton frequented on their downtime.

"I don't know what the hell is going on. Out of no where Captain Newell pulls me into her office with Zenton and starts in on me about the Skyhook. She asks if I know what it is, I told her yes, then she asked me if I had been there 'a simple yes or no will do'. What a bitch. I told her yes, that I had in fact been there with Koronakesh a while ago and that I had told her or Laerise about it. And just like that, I was dismissed."

She tossed the cloak over a chair on her way into the bedroom as the camera drone followed in pursuit. As she unzipped her flight suit, she sat on the edge of the bed and began unlacing her boots.

"What is the big fracking deal anyhow? So I spoke to a former Praetorian after he left our ranks. I wanted to find out what was going on and if I could help him in any way. I just love how they think speaking to a red is the biggest crime in New Eden. And God forbid someone have a drink in a nonsanctioned bar. Not like I was doing anything horribly wrong! It was just a simple conversation weeks ago and they are just now making a fuss over it?"

She kicked one boot off, then the other. As she stood, she shimmied out of her flight suit and left in the floor beside her boots. Beneath it she wore a black sports bra and loose fitting black boy styled shorts.

"So then I headed over to Paradise to catch up with Zenton, I wanted to know what she had to say to him. Apparently they are riding his ass now too in regards to me, as if he is my keeper or something. I'm pretty sick of it. If they have something to say to me, then say it to my face, stop going behind my back to Zenton. He isn't responsible for my actions, no more than anyone else in the Praetoria is."

She disappeared from view as she went into the bathroom. The sound of water running could be heard. She stepped back into the bedroom with a toothbrush in her mouth, pulling it out to continue her ranting.

"They just make me so damned angry!" Frustrated, she kicked her boot across the room. It thudded against the wall and caused the holographic water to ripple.

"And to top it off, Garst thinks I am a liar." She dashed back into the bathroom to turn the water off in the tub. A few seconds later she returned to the bedroom door, leaning against the frame.

"A liar. I can't believe I really thought I could somehow reach him. I can't believe I trusted him enough to tell him the truth and he threw it back in my face, calling it disgusting. Oh gods, the things he said to me. He looked like he wanted to wrap his hands around my throat until I admitted that I lied. I had no choice but to tell him what he wanted to hear, that I did lie about the whole thing. He was so angry, I've never seen him like that before, never imagined he could be so vastly different than what I thought him to be."

She hesitated as if a thought occured to her.

"There you go. No one is really what they seem, are they?"

"Afterwards, I talked to Zenton about it. I told him that I didn't think I really belonged in the Praetoria and that I should leave before I jeopardize his career more so than I have. It's just so frustrating, trying day after day to be the kind of person that belongs there. It's not like I haven't tried. Anyhow, he told me that he would support whatever I chose to do, but that he selfishly wanted me to stay. I think that if I left, he would too, that he would follow me, but that's just not fair. He belongs with them."

She glanced over to the lake scene, deep in thought.

"And I belong with him."

Terminate Log.