Entry Twenty Six: Reverie

"Brothers and sisters in this time of war, with the heathen hounds of the Minmatar and the corrupt deviants of the Gallente Federation knocking at the door this is the time...dedicate yourself."- The virtue of sacrifice sermon, Archbishop

Sitting in a back booth at My Blue Heaven, she activated the recording device, deciding to take advantage of the empty bar.

"A week or two ago I met Saint here by chance and as respectfully as he could, he told me to stay away from Garst. I asked him why out of curosity and he told me I was bad luck, that any man I get close to I end up hurting, or something bad happens in general. At first I was angry with him, I mean what right does he have to tell me what to do? I understand he and Garst go way back, but still. He had no right. He apologized a few days later and I let it go. I don't want any bad blood between myself and other Praetorians, especially when it is over something that was meant out of good intentions."

"Thinking about it today, maybe he is right. Maybe I do bring some kind of bad luck. My first days in PIE I befriended Koronakesh and he ended up leaving to become a pirate. Granted, I wasn't involved with him romantically but we were good friends, we trusted each other, however briefly. I still wonder if he would have stayed had I not ratted him out. Maybe he would have realized his mistakes before anyone found out. I don't know, but regardless, I'm sure some among the brass still associate the two of us together. And then Zenton, he left because of piracy. I don't feel I had anything to do with that either but again, it doesn't matter what happens usually, only the outward appearances. Before the two of them, I was growing really close to Dante Chance. Things were said and promises were made and well, it was a long time ago but the fact remains that he is gone. He is still a member of PIE but hasn't been around in so long he may as well not be."

She sighed, blowing a silky strand of red hair from her face. "And now I've heard rumors that Garst is leaving. I don't know if it is true or not, I've not spoken to him about it so I don't know. But if it is, I just wonder if it has anything to do with me? I hope not but now that the brass has linked the two of us together, no doubt they will be ready to pin his departure on me somehow. Maybe not all of them, surely by now I've proven my loyalty to PIE but then again, I don't really know."

"I just hope he doesn't leave and if he does, I hope it is on good terms."

"I'm a little worried what will happen if he does leave and then runs across Zenton in space."

The words he shouted at her one night during a drunken shouting match played through her mind. "Fine. Go back to your pirate. Next time he threatens me? Im going to stuff him out a god damn airlock, and then have CONCORD cancel his clone contracts. His pirating ass can rot, he wants it both ways? Life aint that easy."

"I know Garst wont do anything foolish as a Praetorian, theres too much on the line, too much to lose and I know he wouldn't risk it. But if he leaves, whats to stop him?"

She threaded her fingers through her hair, feeling frustrated. "I wish the two of them could just get along like before. I never meant to complicate things like this. And to make matters worse, Zenton's security status dropped this morning. I don't know whats happened, of course I want to jump to the obvious conclusion and say he is pirating again but I wont. I'll give him a chance to explain, maybe I can catch him off duty tonight."

"And maybe I can catch up with Garst too, find out whats going on with him, if it is true or not."

The recording was silent for a few moments as she took a long drink. The sound of the bottle clinking against the table could be heard before she started talking again "So I had a dream...twice now. I'm at my apartment and Zenton is there...and Garst is there...and we are all...together." She blushed as she took another drink. "No doubt the idea got stuck in my head because of Mitara and her polygamy comments. Anyhow. Not like that could be a solution to everything. As Garst would say 'life ain't that easy'."