Entry Twenty Three: Animosity

"Do not let the liars and decievers of inflated Ego make you feel otherwise lest you fall into the same pit of trash they are already wallowing in." Sin of Ego, ArchBishop

Active Log.

"People are seldom who we think they are. If I have learned nothing else in my short time in the Praetoria, that is one thing I am certain of."

"Last night I met up with Zenton at the Basilica. I just...I just wanted to be with him. After those horrible nightmares I needed to spend time with him. I needed to just sit and talk with him, to have his arms around me and have him tell me everything was going to be okay."

"It was a quiet night, there weren't many people around and it felt like we had the whole place to ourselves. We took a walk through the gardens and ended up in a private little alcove. He kissed me...and then we heard footsteps. Captain Newelle had spotted us. I stepped out to greet her when she looked at me maliciously, saying she expected to see Lieutenant Tyrell behind me instead of Zenton."

"She then went on to say that polygamy was an outdated practice and that I should show more discretion with my lovers, that if I was going to be with two men I should have the decency not to flaunt it in public."

"I know she is my superior but in the heat of the moment I lost it. How dare she insinuate something so torrid between Garst and I? And in front of Zenton! She was trying to cause problems for me, there is simply no other explination for it. But to what avail? I don't understand why she would be so hateful, she has always been kind to me for the most part. Even if we've disagreed over something she has never stooped as low as she did last night."

"She made sure to tell Zenton that I was at Paradise with Garst though she managed to twist it into something lascivious. She kept going on and on about me sitting in another man's lap with my mouth on his, and it did not happen like that. Granted, I did sit in his lap, but it was not in a sexual way. And we never kissed. My mouth was never on any part of him. But the way she was going on, she made it sound as if Garst and I went at it right there in front of the whole god damned bar."

"I hate her. Any warm feelings I ever had for her were destroyed last night. Any chance of forgiveness I might have given her was lost when she mockingly apologized after Zenton demanded that she do so."

"She wouldn't even believe me when I tried to explain. I had to call Garst there to verify what had happened. It was so humiliating the way she questioned him in front of Zenton, asking those stupid questions like 'was Lieutenant Lianne's mouth touching any part of your body?'"

"She had no right, none what so ever, to bring that up there. If she was so worried she should have brought Garst and I into her office. There are certain protocols she should have followed. There was no reason to humiliate me like that. I think she is goading me into quitting PIE. If she pushes me enough, she knows I'll leave, and I think thats what certain members of the brass want. It makes sense, they don't want me influencing their golden boy Garst. He just got a promotion and has an impeccable record, no doubt they don't want me anywhere near him."

"I wonder if they blame me for Zenton leaving? Perhaps they think I somehow caused it and they don't want to see the same thing happen with Garst. Who knows."

"What I do know is that Mitara can go to hell. I am done with her, I will never speak to her again unless forced to do so on the job. She is a miserable soul and want nothing else to do with her."

"I am fortunate to have Zenton. He believed me. He even stood up for me. After everyone left I just broke down and told him everything, told him about Garst. And he wasn't even angry. I expected him to be, I thought he'd be ready to kill Garst but he was so very calm and understanding. I love him so very much and I refuse to let anything else come in between what we have. Not Mitara, not Laerise, nor any other god damned member of the Praetoria."

Terminate Log.