Entry Three

Activate Log.

Once, when I first joined the Praetorians (which feels like forever ago instead of a few weeks), Zenton took me down to null sec. It was a long journey, my longest yet. I activated the BK4 channel and met some of the capsuleers who frequent the area.

I was suprised at how very nice everyone was, I think I expected them to be standoffish and greedy, I mean why else would anyone spend their time slaving away down there without Concord protection?

Yet everyone was so laid back and jovial. I really enjoyed the channel, it was nice to not have that feeling that a superior is listening to every word you're saying waiting for you to frack up.

Anyhow, an uneventful trip down, had a good enough time following Zenton around looting the wrecks....and then it all went to hell.

Brummbull.

He knew me immediately though I tried to pretend I did not know him.

Out of all the comm channels in all of New Eden, why did I have to join that one?

He kept trying to talk to me and I kept ignoring him as best as I could. I told him he was mistaken, that we had never met....but we both knew differently.

Zenton believed me at least. I hated lying to him, but I couldn't bare the thought of sweet Zenton knowing that I was a Cerra. My Father's legacy has cast a long dark shadow and I still suffer from his betrayal.

Though my superiors had full disclosure when joining PIE, the rest have assumed my last name was Lianne, which is infact my middle. I've let them believe because it is easier than trying to explain that I am not like my Father, that his sins are his own.

And so I lied. I even let Zenton defend my 'good name'. I felt really horrible about it and went silent. Brumm finally gave it up as well. At least that night.

Every night afterwards when I'd activate the channel, he was there, gazing smugly at me, ready to insinuate something or other.

And every night I would try to ignore him, though he made it virtually impossible. He would always find a way to bring the conversation around to the past, to his days of slavery.

When he was my slave...

She sighs softly, pausing for a moment, lost in thought.

I don't want to record anything else about him now. I just don't want to think about it.Anyhow. So there it is. You can never really run from your past, it has a way of finding you.On to other things. I have good news and bad.

The good news, last night I went on an op and actually managed not to lose a ship, in fact I helped take one down. It was such a rush, really, to be on the winning side of combat. Amarr Victor!

I was flying with Zenton and Omnicide. We managed to get quite a bit done I think. For the most part it was just us three until Captain Vaarun came out to help us with one site. It was pretty uneventful after that, we did a lot of scanning, managed to lose some pirates that were chasing us, and collected some enemy dogtags. I have a theory that they bring bad mojo. Everytime I've ever looted one, we get attacked by the Mims afterwards.

Anyhow, the bad news. Sometime after we finished, Commander Newell came over the Praetorian Comms and informed us that we were forbidden to speak to Kor from this point on. No questions asked. I had heard her earlier ask for 'a word' with him, so I can only imagine what happened. No doubt he was questioned extensively. And no doubt it went horribly.

I assume he didn't rat me out about going to the pirate bar to look for him. I saw Commander Newell at the Paradise very briefly as I was grabbing a quick nightcap, and she didn't say anything.

And of course that only makes it even worse. I betrayed his confidence but he did not betray mine. I told on him but he didn't try to bring me down with him.

Since then, I cant help but wonder... why does doing the right thing make me feel this horrible?

Terminate Log.